Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 26 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Today, June 26 in 1936 The Focke-Wulf Fw 61 made its first flight. It is often considered the first practical helicopter. It was not used inwar until the Korean war. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Minivan Driver Flees Hit-And-Run With Motorcycle Still Attached ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at. --- Carlos A. Urbizo _____________________________________________________ >Rubin sent this one No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that. 2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that. 3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too. 4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too. 5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, Windows does that, too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So Windows is not a virus. It's a bug. _____________________________________________________ Lilly Agnes Cedar waxwing Kneehill County, Alberta June 25/20 ___________________________________________________ When I lived in a dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights. Dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant. Approaching his room one afternoon, he noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his sink, he thought, "Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with that old gag!" It was then that he realized we'd removed the drainpipe be- neath the sink and turned the "U" part to aim at his crotch. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by George Cesar Valentin, 25, Corona, California USA Minivan Driver Flees Hit-And-Run With Motorcycle Still Attached A minivan driver is facing hit-and-run charges after he hit a motorcyclist on the 91 Freeway Friday evening then dragged the rider-less bike down the freeway in Corona. The California Highway Patrol told the Press-Enterprise that the driver rear-ended the motorcyclist on the eastbound 91 Freeway in Corona throwing the cyclist onto the freeway shoulder. Then, the minivan driver took off with the motorcycle stuck to his front end. It sent a steady stream of sparks as the minivan dragged the bike nearly three miles until it exited freeway just past Interstate 15. The motorcycle finally fell off but the driver crashed and ran away. George Cesar George Cesar Valentin, 25,, 25, was later arrested when he went to Corona police to report that his minivan was stolen. The 37-year-old motorcycle driver from Jurupa Valley was taken to a hospital with what appeared to be only minor to moderate injuries, the newspaper reported.A minivan driver is facing hit-and-run charges after he hit a motorcyclist on the 91 Freeway Friday evening then dragged the rider- less bike down the freeway in Corona. The California Highway Patrol told the Press-Enterprise that the driver rear-ended the motorcyclist on the eastbound 91 Freeway in Corona throwing the cyclist onto the freeway shoulder. Then, the minivan driver took off with the motorcycle stuck to his front end. It sent a steady stream of sparks as the minivan dragged the bike nearly three miles until it exited freeway just past Interstate 15. The motorcycle finally fell off but the driver crashed and ran away. George Cesar Valentin, 25, was later arrested when he went to Corona police to report that his minivan was stolen. The 37-year-old motorcycle driver from Jurupa Valley was taken to a hospital with what appeared to be only minor to moderate injuries, the newspaper reported. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Anna Re: What to filter? Dear Webby Please give me a few phrases to use for filters! Anna Dear Anna OK, here are some phrases to filter for: Document attached Invoice attached Click here Do not reply Autoresponder [address of your mother in law] Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a wet mop to get her to come out!" The cabbie almost hit a parked car. _____________________________________________ When the office printer's type began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual and try doing the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." ____________________________________________ A Scotsman on vacation in the U.S. payed his first visit to the zoo. Stopping by one of the cages he saw a man feeding the animal. "An whut animal would that be?" he asked the keeper. "That's a moose from Canada," came the reply. "A moose!" exclaimed the Scotsman, "Hoots man...they must ha' rrrats like elepants ower there!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 26 in 1096 Peter the Hermit's crusaders forced their way across Sava, Hungary. 1243 The Seljuk Turkish army in Asia Minor was wiped out by the Mongols. 1483 Richard III usurped himself to the English throne. 1794 The French defeated an Austrian army at the Battle of Fleurus. 1804 The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth of the Kansas River after completing a westward trek of nearly 400 river miles. 1819 The bicycle was patented by W.K. Clarkson, Jr. 1894 The American Railway Union called a general strike in sympathy with Pullman workers. 1900 The United States announced that it would send troops to fight against the Boxer rebellion in China. 1900 A commission that included Dr. Walter Reed began the fight against the deadly disease yellow fever. 1907 Russia's nobility demanded drastic measures to be taken against revolutionaries. 1908 Shah Muhammad Ali's forces squelched the reform elements of Parliament in Persia. 1917 General John "Black Jack" Pershing arrived in France with the American Expeditionary Force. 1925 Charlie Chaplin's comedy "The Gold Rush" premiered in Hollywood. That was the only movie about Canada that I had seen before I emigrated to Canada. 1924 After eight years of occupation, American troops left the Dominican Republic. 1936 The Focke-Wulf Fw 61 made its first flight. It is often considered the first practical helicopter. It was not used inwqar until the Korean war. 1942 The Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter was flown for the first time. 1945 The U.N. Charter was signed by 50 nations in San Francisco, CA. 1948 The Berlin Airlift began as the U.S., Britain and France started ferrying supplies to the isolated western sector of Berlin. 1951 The Soviet Union proposed a cease-fire in the Korean War. 1959 U.S. President Eisenhower joined Britain's Queen Elizabeth II in ceremonies officially opening the St. Lawrence Seaway. 1961 A Kuwaiti vote opposed Iraq's annexation plans. 1963 U.S. President John Kennedy announced "Ich bin ein Berliner" (I am a Berliner) at the Berlin Wall. 1971 The U.S. Justice Department issued a warrant for Daniel Ellsberg, accusing him of giving away the Pentagon Papers. 1974 In Troy, Ohio, a Marsh supermarket installed the first bar code scanning equipment, made by IBM, and a product with a bar code was scanned for the first time. The product was Juicy Fruit gum. 1976 In Toronto, Canada, the CN Tower opened to the public. The official opening date is listed as October 1, 1976. It was the world's tallest free-standing stucture and the world's tallest tower until 2010. 1979 Muhammad Ali, at 37 years old, announced that he was retiring as world heavyweight boxing champion. 1985 Wilbur Snapp was ejected after playing "Three Blind Mice" during a baseball game. The incident followed a call made by umpire Keith O'Connor. 1996 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the Virginia Military Institute to admit women or forgo state support. 1997 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Communications Decency Act of 1996 that made it illegal to distribute indecent material on the Internet. 1997 J.K. Rowlings book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" was published in the U.K. The book was later released in the U.S. under the name "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." This was the first book in the Harry Potter series. 1998 The U.S. and Peru open school to train commandos to patrol Peru's rivers for drug traffickers. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers are always potentially liable for supervisor's sexual misconduct toward an employee. 2000 The Human Genome Project and Celera Genomics Corp. jointly announced that they had created a working draft of the human genome. 2000 Indonesia's President Abdurrahman Wahid declared a state of emergency in the Moluccas due to the escalation of fighting between Christians and Muslims. 2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. 2020 Do smiled. |
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