Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, February 13 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Indonesian Navy seized over a ton of crystal meth that smugglers attempted to disguise in bags of rice   Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, February 13 in 1945 At the end of World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the German city of Dresden. Thousabds of bomnbers for three days reduced the city to rubble. The strategically unimportant city was filled with refugees from the Russian front, and the idea was that those refugees would tell the tale of psychologigal warfare throughout Germany. However, after about 200,000 - 500,000 people had been killed, there was nobody left to tell the tale. Even 20 years later most Europeans had not heard about it yet. See More of what happened on this day in history.
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 ______________________________________________________ The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. --- Frank Herbert (1920 - 1986) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A missionairy discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The missionairy soon rectified the situation by baptizing everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the missionairy the tribe had never had so much fun. The missionairy asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!" ______________________________________________________ A man bought a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner: Dad: Son, where were you today during school hours? Son: At school (robot slaps the son and he immediately changes his mind) Okay, okay, I went to the movies! Dad: Which one? Son: Harry Potter (robot slaps the son again!) Okay Alright, I was watching porno. Dad: What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porno is! (robot slaps dad) Mom: Hahahahaha! After all he is your Son! (robot gives Mom a hot dirty slap) _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ In a recent Harris On-line poll 38,562 men across the US were asked to identify woman's ultimate fantasy. 97.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  4 Indonesian dope smugglers No names, they will be hanged shortly anyway.  Indonesian Navy seized over a ton of crystal meth that smugglers attempted to disguise in bags of rice  The MV Sunrise Glory was intercepted by a navy boat patrolling the Phillip Channel between Singapore and Batam. It was flying the flag of Singapore but the crew changed it for the Indonesian one as the military vessel approached. When the boat was taken to Batam for inspection, 1,029 kilograms (2268 pounds) of crystal methamphetamine were found stashed inside 41 sacks of rice. Navy deputy chief Vice Admiral Achmad Taufiqoerrochman said 'Last night we discovered more than one tonne of crystal meth and the amount might increase because we have not finished checking everything.' Four crew members were arrested and the men told their captors that they had planned on taking the drugs to Australia. Indonesia has some of the toughest anti-drugs laws in the world, including capital punishment for traffickers. Officials initially suspected that the Taiwanese fishing boat was a part of a drug syndicate wanted by the Indonesian military. As well as the huge stash of drugs, at least four different national flags and fake documents were found on board, prompting suspicion that the vessel was a 'phantom ship' which changes its name and flag depending on which country's waters it is sailing in to avoid detection.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Sandie Re: Screensaver password  Dear Webby, Can you tell us all how to set up a screen saver password... I can't seem to find the exact spot to do it... My laptop sits unattended a lot, and I don't want anyone to access it while it is not being used.... I am sure a lot of new people would need this info as well. Keep up the great Humor Letter, it is the best on line.... Sandie  Dear Sandie If your "on resume, password protect" box n the screen saver set-up window shows "on resume, display welcome screen" box, try this: 1. Log on to the computer as an administrator. 2. Click Start, click Control Panel, and then click User Accounts. 3. Click Change the way users log on or off. 4. Deselect the "Use the Welcome screen" check box, and the 5) Deselect "Use Fast User Switching" check box 6.) Click OK and exit User Accounts. You may have to log off and reboot for the change to become effective. Sometimes you can also set that in the screen saver setup screen. Have FUN! DearWebby   
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 John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker. As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his passenger. John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there! So he slammed on the brakes, ordered the hitchhiker out, and said, "Hand over the wallet immediately!" The frightened hitchhiker handed over a billfold, and John drove off. When he arrived home, he started to tell his wife about the experience, but she interrupted him, saying, "Before I forget, John, do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning? 
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 A young man finally got a job at the Post Office. He was full of energy and eager to please. The supervisor agreed to work with the new employee, even though he had been warned that he was still immature and knew nothing of the job. The first job the supervisor gives the young man is in sorting, and much to everyone's surprise, the new employee separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. The supervisor was very pleased and asked the young man to come into his office at the end of the day. He said, "I just want you to know that we are all very proud of you. You're one of the fastest workers we have ever had." The humble young man said, "Thank you, sir. And tomorrow, I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do better?" The young man smiled proudly and said, "Tomorrow, I am going to read the addresses." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning the Chimney If you have a fireplace or wood burning stove, it is the time of year to have your chimney cleaned and inspected. Keeping your chimney maintained can help increase the efficiency of your stove and also helps prevent chimney fires.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought prmium or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always." said the wife. "I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth."  
 
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 The very frugal business manager was checking on the travel expenses of his salesmen, when he began to mutter, then yell. One of the salesmen worked up his courage and came over to ask the boss what was wrong. "Look at this crook's travel expenses," the boss said. "How could he possibly spend forty dollars a day for meals in that small town in Ohio?" "It's easy," explained the salesman cheerfully. "All you have to do is skip breakfast." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, February 13, in 1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII. 1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the Inquisition. 1741 "The American Magazine," the first magazine in the U.S., was published in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison Effect for the first time. The "Edison effect" was the name given to a phenomenon that Edison observed in 1875 and refined later, in 1883, while he was trying to improve his new incandescent lamp. The effect was that, in a vacuum, electrons flow from a heated element -- like an incandescent lamp filament -- to a cooler metal plate. 1900 The Anglo-German accord of 1899 was ratified by Reichstag, in which Britain renounced rights in Samoa in favor of Germany and the U.S. 1914 The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (known as ASCAP) was formed in New York City. The society was founded to protect the copyrighted musical compositions of its members. 1920 The League of Nations recognized the continued neutrality of Switzerland. 1935 In Flemington, New Jersey, a jury found Bruno Richard Hauptmann guilty of the kidnapping and death of the infant son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. Hauptmann was later executed for the crimes. 1937 The comic strip "Prince Valiant" appeared for the first time. 1945 At the end of World War II, the Soviets captured Budapest, Hungary, from the German army. 1945 At the end of World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the German city of Dresden. Thousabds of bomnbers for three days reduced the city to rubble. The strategically unimportant city was filled with refugees from the Russian front, and the idea was that those refugees would tell the tale of psychologigal warfare throughout Germany. However, after about 200,000 - 500,000 people had been killed, there was nobody left to tell the tale. Even 20 years later most Europeans had not heard about it yet. 1955 Israel acquired 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls. 1960 France detonated its first atomic bomb. 1965 Sixteen-year-old Peggy Fleming won the ladies senior figure skating title at Lake Placid, NY. 1971 South Vietnamese troops invaded Laos. They were backed by U.S. air and artillery support. 1984 Konstantin Chernenko was chosen to be general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party's Central Committee, succeeding the late Yuri Andropov. 1990 In Ottawa, the United States and its European allies forged an agreement with the Soviet Union and East Germany on a two-stage formula to reunite Germany. 1991 Hundreds of Iraqis were killed by two laser-guided bombs that destroyed an underground facility in Baghdad. U.S. officials identified the facility as a military installation, but Iraqi officials said it was a bomb shelter. 1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery brought the Hubble Space Telescope aboard for a tune up. The tune up allowed the telescope to see further into the universe. 1997 The Dow Jones industrial average passed the 7,000 mark for the first time. The day ended at 7,022.44. 1999 A bomb exploded just outside a government-owned bank in southern Kosovo. Nine people were killed. 2000 Charles M. Schulz's last original Sunday "Peanuts" comic strip appeared in newspapers. Schulz had died the day before. 2001 El Savador was hit with an earthquake that measured 6.6 on the Richter Scale. At least 400 people were killed. 2002 In Alexandria, VA, John Walker Lindh pled innocent to a 10-count federal indictment. He was charged with conspiring to kill Americans and aiding Osama bin Laden's terrorist network. 2002 Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani received an honorary knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. 2008 Hollywood writers ended a 100-day strike. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

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