Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 18. 2022 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, July 18, in 1942, The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to fly in combat, made its first flight. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Police shooting breaks out at North Phoenix hotel __________________________________________________ If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) _________________________________________________ A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his parish wearing the tiniest of bikinis. A Nun walked over and said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that!" The Priest replied, "Sister Mary Elizabeth, I know you to be on a diet, and yet I saw you ogling the buffet." __________________________________________________ A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four- year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jayden Bush, 26, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Police shooting breaks out at North Phoenix hotel Police are investigating an officer-involved shooting after a man was reportedly pointing a gun at guests of a hotel near Interstate 17 and Bell Road on July 15. According to officials, the incident began when a security guard at a Red Roof Inn in the area noticed a man he had seen before trespassing onto the property. This time, the man was reportedly carrying a handgun, and allegedly pistol-whipped another man in the area. That was when the security guard called the police. After officers arrived, they chased the man through the hotel, firing both beanbag round and real bullets along the way. The suspect eventually locked himself inside a laundry room, and taken into custody soon after. "Officers located the suspect with a gun in his hand running up and down a stairwell. He came out of the stairwell and pointed a gun at officers. An officer responded to the threat by firing at the suspect. The suspect ran into a laundry room of the hotel and tried to hide in a washing machine. An officer used a less lethal a stun bag causing the suspect to surrender. He was taken into custody and transported to a local hospital for minor injuries caused by less lethal projectiles," police said. As the incident took place, hotel guests were stuck in limbo either inside the hotel, or outside the hotel, standing with their bags amid the extreme heat. "We cant come in, cant get in there for a couple of hours, so were just sitting here with all her stuff, so we have to find someplace else to go for a couple of hours," said one guest, identified only as Jean.' Police revealed the suspect's identity a day later, saying he's Jayden Bush, 26. He was booked into the Maricopa County Jail on multiple charges including warrants, weapons violations, drug charges, and aggravated assault. _____________________________________________________ Have you heard about the latest diet craze? You're allowed to eat anything you like, but only in the presence of naked fat people! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ellen RE: Second monitor Dear Webby My daughter uses two monitors at her work, and I really like that. Since monitors are really cheap now, I got a used one for a song. How do I set it up on my W7 ? Ellen Dear Ellen Look how your existing monitor is set up. Most likely it is connected with a standard 15 pin plug. If it is, then you need one of the new DVI monitor cables. They are wider, have more pins, and have a blank section on one side. They cost about the same, around $10. Modern monitors have sockets for both types, and so do computers. Leave the existing cable in place, and use the other type of cable for the new monitor. You also have to connect the power cable. Once it is plugged in, it should show something. Right-click in any blank place on the Windows 7 desktop and choose Screen Resolution. You see the Display Settings dialog box, where you can set up multiple monitors. Click the 1 box to set up your first monitor and 2 to set up the second. You can swap them around. If the new monitor is dark when you come back from making coffee, don't panic. That is just a power saving feature, that you can change in Windows, Modern monitors take about as much electricity as your alarm clock, so I would not worry about that. If it is set to turn off when you are away, just move the mouse and the picture will light up again. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn..... and into the hole he gooooes." ___________________________________________________ A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________________ In the backwoods of Arkansas, a young redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and their elderly country doctor was called out to assist her in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so's I can see what it is I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there." said the doctor, "Don't be in a rush to put that lantern down... I think there's yet another one coming...." Surely enough, in a few more minutes, the old doctor had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern. It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor in amazement. The bewildered redneck scratched his head and asked the country doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?" _____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right. He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," she said. With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!!" ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, July 18, in 0064, The Great Fire of Rome began. 1536, The authority of the pope was declared void in England. 1743, "The New York Weekly Journal" published the first half-page newspaper ad. 1789, Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to back the French Revolution. 1812, Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace with Russia and Sweden. 1830, Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution. 1872, The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing for secret election ballots. 1914, Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation division called the Signal Corps. 1932, The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St. Lawrence Seaway. 1935, Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to fight to the last man against the invading Italian army. 1936, The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of General Body Companys factory in Chicago, IL. 1936, The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa. 1942, The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to fly in combat, made its first flight. 1944, U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the battle of the hedgerows. 1944, Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war minister due to setbacks suffered by his country in World War II. 1947, U.S. President Truman signed the Presidential Succession Act, which placed the Speaker of the House and the Senate President Pro Tempore next in the line of succession after the vice president. 1971, New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull their troops out of Vietnam. 2001, A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days and virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several days. 2015, The Ebay spin-off of PayPal into a separate publicly traded company was completed. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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