Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 3 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Thank you, Gene!! Thank you, Donald ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Mesa Police arrest man wanted for sexual assault, kidnapping  ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 3 in 1967 In Sweden, motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road and began driving on the right side. ____________________________________________________ Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III Behind every great fortune there is a crime. --- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850 I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) ____________________________________________________ On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single." ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ Seen on a T-shirt: "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Carl Creamer, 44, Mesa, Arizona, USA  Mesa Police arrest man wanted for sexual assault, kidnapping  Mesa Police have arrested a man who was wanted for sexual assault and kidnapping in two different incidents over the past two weeks. Carl Creamer, 44, was taken into custody in Phoenix on Sunday. On Aug. 16 at 8 p.m., Creamer reportedly offered a woman a ride near Alma School Road and Main Street. When she went into the vehicle, Creamer pulled out a handgun, drove into a parking lot and sexually assaulted her, police said. Two weeks later, on Aug. 26, Creamer drove up to a different woman at a bus stop near Stapley and Southern Avenue and offered her a ride. After she went inside the suspect's vehicle, Creamer again drove to a parking lot and pulled out a handgun. He attempted to sexually assault her but she was able to escape, according to officials. In both cases, the victims described their attacker as a Hispanic or white man in his late 30s with a muscular build. He was described as being either bald or with a buzz cut. The suspect's vehicle was believed to be an early 2000 tan Ford F-150 four-door truck. Police said the vehicle has stickers on the back window. Both victims gave police the same description of the vehicle and handgun. Creamer was booked into jail and is accused of sexual assault, aggravated assault, kidnapping, attempted sexual assault, and sexual abuse.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Rosa Re: Minimum for sending money from bank? Dear Webby, I don't have PayPal, yet, or a card. Can I send money to my mom via Interac, straight from the bank? Rosa  Dear Rosa If you know what email address your mom uses on her bank account, then you can. If necessary, ask the teller at the bank next time you go there. After that it will be as easy as paying your utilities or town taxes. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 In the men's room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "THOAP!" ____________________________________________ Here are some groaners, watch out: Psycho-ceramics .......... the study of crackpots. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? Nun. How many surreal artists does it take to change a light bulb? A fish. ____________________________________________ A Bonehead award and a "too dumb to be a criminal award," goes to thieves in Birmingham, Englan, who stole 23 homing pigeons which, of course, flew back to their owner a week later. ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, Sept 3, in 1189 England's King Richard I was crowned in Westminster. 1783 The Revolutionary War between the U.S. and Great Britain ended with the Treaty of Paris. 1833 The first successful penny newspaper in the U.S., "The New York Sun," was launched by Benjamin H. Day. 1838 Frederick Douglass boarded a train in Maryland on his way to freedom from being a slave. 1935 Sir Malcolm Campbell became the first person to drive an automobile over 300 miles an hour. He reached 304.331 MPH on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. 1939 British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, in a radio broadcast, announced that Britain and France had declared war on Germany. Germany had invaded Poland on September 1. 1943 Italy was invaded by the Allied forces during World War II. 1954 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the final time after 2,956 episodes over a period of 21 years. 1967 Nguyen Van Thieu was elected president of South Vietnam under a new constitution. 1967 In Sweden, motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road and began driving on the right side. 1976 The U.S. spacecraft Viking 2 landed on Mars. The unmanned spacecraft took the first close-up, color photos of the planet's surface. 1981 David Brinkley left NBC News after 38 years to join with ABC. 1981 Egypt arrested more than 1,500 opponents of the government. 1986 Peat Marwick International and Klynveld Main Goerdeler of the Netherlands agreed to merge and form the world's largest accounting firm. 1989 The U.S. began shipping military aircraft and weapons, worth $65 million, to Columbia in its fight against drug lords. 1994 Russia and China announced that they would no longer be targeting nuclear missiles or using force against each other. 1999 Mario Lemieux's ownership group officially took over the National Hockey League's Pittsburgh Penguins. Lemieux became the first player in the modern era of sports to buy the team he had once played for. 2013 Hunters in Mississippi caught a 727-pound alligator. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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