Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, September 24 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, september 24, in 1960, The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award  Illegal Alien Arrested for Driving Drunk and Smashing Into 24 year old Deputy's Motorcycle - Killing Her, and leaving scene of a deadly accident  ____________________________________________________ Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. --- Timothy Leary (1920 - 1996) I hold ambition of so light a quality that is is but a shadow's shadow. --- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) ___________________________________________________ A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way." ____________________________________________________ When Emma's parents threatened to forbid her to see her boyfriend unless she told them why he'd been there so late the night before, she began to talk. "Well, I took him into the loving room, and..." "That's living, dear," her mother said. "NOW you tell me!" came the answer. __________________________________________________  reported by rock an international bonehead award has been earned by  Norberto Garcia-Gonzales, Greeley, Colorado, USA  Illegal Alien Arrested for Driving Drunk and Smashing Into 24 year old Deputy's Motorcycle - Killing Her, and leaving scene of a deadly accident  A Colorado sheriffs deputy is dead after a fatal hit-and- run collision involving an illegal alien who allegedly fled the scene of the accident. Weld County Sheriffs Deputy Alexis Hein-Nutz was only 24 years old. Hein-Nutz, a Bismarck, North Dakota, resident, was driving to work on Sunday when a van struck her motorcycle, according to The Denver Post. Authorities arrested Norberto Garcia-Gonzales on Monday night after the fatal Sunday collision. He tentatively faces charges of leaving the scene of an accident involving death and careless driving resulting in death, according to CBS Colorado. Investigators say they recovered a false green card and a fake social security card from the car Gonzalez-Garcia was driving, according to KFYR-TV. The suspect was initially misidentified as Octavio Gonzalez-Garcia, according to The Denver Gazette. A Weld County law enforcement official indicated investigators believe Garcia-Gonzales is an illegal immigrant on Wednesday, according to Fox News. Capt. Matt Turner of the Weld County North Jail Complex is accusing Garcia-Gonzales of trying to escape justice after the crash. All of this together made it nearly impossible initially for our people to investigate the crime. They had no clue who was behind the wheel of this car because he fled into a cornfield and disappeared, Turner told Fox & Friends Todd Piro. Garcia-Gonzales already had an outstanding warrant for failing to appear in court and has been arrested for DUI before, according to Fox News. Turner is frustrated that the suspect was free from custody to further offend in the community, according to Fox News. Illegal aliens make up 21 percent of the total federal prison population. Bond has been set for Norberto Garcia-Gonzales. _____________________________________________________ The police recently busted a man selling ' secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for commiting this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983. _____________________________________________________   Danijel Hromin Lighthouse Oyster Night Croatia _____________________________________________________ A parent decreed one Christmas that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. The next year things were different, however. "The children came over in person to thank me," gramma told a friend triumphantly. "How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in behavior?" "Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the checks." _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ Sue's son is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time. One morning while making his bed, she heard the dispatcher say, "Car 34, there is a six-foot boa constrictor in a front yard. The resident wants a policeman to come and remove it." There was a long pause, then some static. Slowly, a voice said, "We can't get the car started." _________________________________________________  dearwebby's tech support pits From: Rock Re: How to send money off line Dear Webby, I'll try to get some USD in the mail shortly, I dont do pay pal or any on-line financial transactions, Rock  Dear Rock There is a very elegant solution! 1) Go to the bank 2) Pick the sexiest teller 3) Flirt at her! When she asks me what I want, I point at her cleavage and say "WOOOOO!" She likes that! 4) Tell her that you wan to send money to Grandma or DearWebby and give her the email address and the name of the bank, for example dearwebby@webby.com or helmut@webby.com, Royal Bank of Canada. 5) When she asks how much, tell her "10". She will flirt back at you and ask "Ten Million?" So you tell her "Not today. Today just $10 dollars." 6) Then she does some mysterious mumbo jumbo and prints you a receipt. That is all there is to it. Good excuse to flirt at that sexy teller. For the ladies, most banks also have male tellers in dire need of being flirted at. Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ >From Jody The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!" _____________________________________________________ Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday." _____________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  today, september 24, in 1789, The U.S. Congress passed the First Judiciary Act. The act provided for an Attorney General and a lower federal courts. 1869, Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. 1915, "The Lamb," Douglas Fairbanks first film, was shown at the Knickerbocker Theater in New York City, NY. 1929, The first all-instrument flight took place in New York when Lt. James H. Doolittle guided a Consolidated NY2 Biplane over Mitchell Field. 1933, "Roses and Drums" was heard on WABC in New York City. It was the first dramatic presentation for radio. 1955, U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower suffered a heart attack while on vacation in Denver, CO. 1957, U.S. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to Little Rock, AR, to enforce school integration. 1960, The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. 1963, The U.S. Senate ratified a treaty that limited nuclear testing. The treaty was between the U.S., Britain, and the Soviet Union. 1995, Three decades of Israeli occupation of West Bank cities ended with the signing of a pact by Israel and the PLO. 1996, The United States, represented by President Clinton, and the world's other major nuclear powers signed a Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty to end all testing and development of nuclear weapons. 1998, The U.S. Federal Reserve released into circulation $2 billion in new harder-to-counterfeit $20 bills. 2001, U.S. President George W. Bush froze the assets of 27 suspected terrorists and terrorist groups. 2022 Do! smiled.