Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, May 31 If you have not seen Barb's Bonus link, go back to the Wednesday issue and look it up. The site shows lots of new pictures of desert wild flowers! For me it was just like being there on the 25 or so cactus safaris, running around the deserts and mountains taking pictures of blooming cacti, but just barely smiling at the wild flowers. Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Mother arrested after running over 7 mo old daughter and boyfriend, killing daughter Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, May 31 in 1977 The trans-Alaska oil pipeline was finished after 3 years of construction. It still works. Bears still walk on it. They have the right of way.  More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A census taker knocked on a lady's door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked. "Certainly." he replied "Well, I'm the same age as they are." she snapped. "As old as the Hills," he slowly intoned as he wrote on his form. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   Yes, the desert DOES bloom!   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ In a high school gym class, all the girls are lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Every ten seconds, they walk toward each other exactly half the remaining distance between them. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?" Mathematician: "Never." Physicist: "In an infinite amount of time." Engineer: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Sarah Gomez, 19, Ontario, California  Mother arrested after running over 7 mo old daughter and boyfriend, killing daughter  A California mother was taken into police custody early Tuesday after she allegedly struck her boyfriend and their 7-month-old daughter with a car, injuring the father and killing the child, according to KTLA. Sarah Gomez, 19, was arrested on suspicion of murder and attempted murder, the Ontario Police Department tweeted. The incident happened on the driveway of a residence in the 500 block of West D Street around midnight, Sgt. Jeff Higbee said. Investigators believed the infant's mother and 21-year-old father had been drinking at a family gathering just a few streets away when they became involved in an argument. Gomez was behind the wheel when she struck her boyfriend with the infant in his arms, according to police. Other family members took the girl to the hospital along with the father, who suffered scrapes and abrasions, Higbee said. The child had injuries consistent with being hit by a car, the officer said. Authorities towed the vehicle to investigate it. Earlier, the agency said it expected Gomez to be charged with two counts of assault with a deadly weapon. But it later appeared that the incident was intentional, Higbee told KTLA. Gomez is held at the San Bernardino County West Valley Detention Center. 
 Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Separate licenses  Dear Webby Thanks Webby, One more thing, I have 2 separate desktop computers and a laptop. For the windows 7 to be "genuine", can I install the one purchased, or do I need to purchase 3 separate ones? Again, love your newsletter! An Avid Reader and User of Tips stitichingirl  Dear Bonnie Micro$oft insists that you buy a separate license for each computer. I have a hunch that the demand AND PRICE for W7 will go up as more and more people learn that a W10 computer is just a W7 machine, that hasn't been formatted yet, and still needs W7 to be installed, to become fast enough for work. Have FUN DearWebby    
 The cowboy was trying to buy an insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't never had one. Never." "That's hard to believe. Nothing ever happened to you at all?" "Well, rattler bit me one time." "Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Hell no. Dang varmint bit me on purpose." 
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 At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you." she said. Then, returning to reality she added, "But if the big jerk is in the restaurant flirting at the waitress... don't wait any longer." 
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 Giving a man his physical, the doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or some physical sport?" "No," he answered. "I play bridge with my wife." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Change and Dollar Bills My husband and I have always saved our change, but recently we have started saving our one dollar bills as well. At the end of each day, we put all of our ones in a little bank, and on Saturday, we deposit what we have into our savings account. It adds up quickly! By Carol  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  Having gone out for a large lunch with fellow workers, one health conscious young woman from our office was especially motivated to get to the gym after work. Our boss, who had also enjoyed a large meal, suggested that she run an extra lap for him. As she was leaving the office, she called to the boss, "Get ready to start huffing and puffing, 'cause I'll be on your lap in half an hour!"  
Winners and losers of People are Awesome!
 ___________________________________________________ An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what's wrong with me." "Let's begin with a few questions," said the doctor, "Do you drink much?" "Alcohol?" said the man. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop." "How about smoking?" asked the doctor. "Never," replied the man. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it." "Well, uh." asked the doctor, "do you have much of a sex life?" "Oh, no," said the man. "Sex is sin. I'm in bed by 10:30 every night and I always have been." The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked, "Well, do you have pains in your head?" "Yes," said the man. "I have terrible pains in my head." "O.K.," said the doctor. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!! ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ A kindergartner brings his drawings home every day. His mother is delighted to see what he's doing, of course, and hangs each one on the refrigerator. But after a while, one thing starts bothering her. The child uses only blacks and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decides to take him to a child psychologist. The psychologist delicately goes to work. Every day, for two weeks, he gives the boy a battery of tests, but everything seems perfectly normal. Yet every day the little fellow continues to bring home drawings in only blacks and browns. Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem, the psychologist decides to give the boy some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happens. The boy opens the box of crayons and says, "Oh, wow! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes, and the only ones left in mine are black and brown." ____________________________________________________ 
 Today, May 31 in 1433 Sigismund was crowned emperor of Rome. 1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation. 1870 E.J. DeSemdt patented asphalt. 1880 The first U.S. national bicycle society was formed in Newport, RI. It was known as the League of American Wheelman. 1884 Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented "flaked cereal." 1889 In Johnstown, PA, more than 2,200 people died after the South Fork Dam collapsed. 1900 U.S. troops arrived in Peking to help put down the Boxer Rebellion. 1902 The Boer War ended between the Boers of South Africa and Great Britain with the Treaty of Vereeniging. 1907 The first taxis arrived in New York City. They were the first in the United States. 1909 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) held its first conference. 1910 The Union of South Africa was founded. 1915 A German zeppelin made an air raid on London. 1927 Ford Motor Company produced the last "Tin Lizzie" in order to begin production of the Model A. 1929 In Beverly, MA, the first U.S. born reindeer were born. 1941 The first issue of "Parade: The Weekly Picture Newspaper" went on sale. 1943 "Archie" was aired on the Mutual Broadcasting System for the first time. 1947 Communists seized control of Hungary. 1955 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered that all states must end racial segregation "with all deliberate speed." 1961 South Africa became an independent republic. 1962 Adolf Eichmann was hanged in Israel. Eichmann was a Gestapo official and was executed for his actions in the Nazi Holocaust. 1970 An earthquake in Peru killed tens of thousands of people. 1974 Israel and Syria signed an agreement on the Golan Heights. 1977 The trans-Alaska oil pipeline was finished after 3 years of construction. It still works. Bears walking on it have the right of way. 1979 Zimbabwe proclaimed its independence. 1994 The U.S. announced it was no longer aiming long-range nuclear missiles at targets in the former Soviet Union. 1995 Bob Dole singled out Time Warner for "the marketing of evil" in movies and music. Dole later admitted that he had not seen or heard much of what he had been criticizing. 2003 In North Carolina, Eric Robert Rudolph was captured. He had been on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list for five years for several bombings including the 1996 Olympic bombing. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

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