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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, February 28, in 1854, The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 50 slavery opponents began the new political group. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Newark man sentenced to fourteen years in prison in child pornography case __________________________________________________ Q Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another. --- Anatole France (1844 - 1924) I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ), 5/22/89 ________________________________________________ Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I hit his wheelchair with the car." __________________________________________________ A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits." __________________________________________________  _________________________________________________ A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while, when the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts." The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss." So she did so. But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him, "What are ye thinkin' now?" To which the lad grumbled, "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!" ________________________________________________ A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a gynecologist." ____________________________________________________  Shelly Lynn Hachey-O'Donnell Back seat driver (Horned Grebe with Grebette) North of Calgary ___________________________________________________ As Chester left a pottery class, he desperately gave himself a personal TSA pat down. He was looking for his keys. They were not in his pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly he realized that he must have left them in the car. Frantically, he headed for the parking lot. Chesters wife, Sally, had scolded him many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. Chesters theory is that the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Sallys theory is that the car will be stolen. As Chester burst through the doors, he came to a terrifying conclusion: Sallys theory was right. The parking lot was empty. He immediately called the police. He gave them his location, confessing that he had left the keys in the car and that it had been stolen. Then Chester made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," he stammered (He always calls her "honey" in times like these) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen." There was a period of silence. Chester thought the call had been dropped, but then he heard Sallys voice. "Chester!" she barked, "I dropped you off!" Now it was his time to be silent. Embarrassed, he said, "Well, come and get me." "I will!" Sally retorted, "Just as soon as I convince this cop to take off the handcuffs!" ___________________________________________________ Kevin gets a New Secretary. A few days later his wife learns of this this new hire, and so he faces a volley of rapid, suspicious questions. Emma (Kevin's wife): Does your new secretary have nice legs?" Kevin: Didnt quite notice." Emma: "What color are her eyes?" Kevin: Havent had the time to check." Emma: "What are the nail polish colors she uses, metallic, gel or neon ?" Kevin: Not a clue in the world." Emma: "Does she have a local accent? Kevin: I barely spoke to her, so dont know. Emma: "How does she dress?" Kevin: "Very quickly. Kevin's funeral will be held on Saturday. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Michael A. Wicklatz, 47, Newark, Illinois, USA Newark man sentenced to fourteen years in prison in child pornography case A Newark man is being sentenced to fourteen years in prison after a guilty plea in a child pornography case in Kendall County. The Kendall County State's Attorney's Office says that 47-year-old Michael A. Wicklatz had been having conversations with a person he believed to be a fourteen- year-old girl on a messaging app. Prosecutors allege the conversations were graphic and sexual in nature. Prosecutors also allege that Wicklatz had sent out videos of child pornography on the same app. An investigation began after a tip from the National Center for Missing and exploited children. Wicklatz was arrested in October of 2021 and has been in custody since then. He will also be registered as sex offender for the rest of his life. Kendall County State's Attorney Eric Weis is reminding parents to be aware of messaging applications and know which ones their kids are using and who they are talking to. ____________________________________________________ What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure. Sounds like there might be a population explosion in Mexifornia next spring. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Nancy Re: No Mailwasher Dear Webby I don't have your Mailwasher. It is not free. Isn't there a free alternative? Nancy Dear Nancy It is not MY mailwasher. I am just one of the first people, who actually paid for it. And no, there is no free alternative. It is too cheap to make it worth building a competitive program. Gmail has copied a lot of MailWasher, about a quarter of it. Try that for now. Have FUN! DearWebby _________________________________________________ Today, February 28 in 1827, The Baltimore & Ohio Railroad became the first railroad incorporated for commercial transportation of people and freight. 1844, Several people were killed aboard the USS Princeton when a 12-inch gun exploded. 1849, Regular steamboat service to California via Cape Horn arrived in San Francisco for the first time. The SS California had left New York Harbor on October 6, 1848. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 1854, The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 50 slavery opponents began the new political group. 1861, The U.S. territory of Colorado was organized. 1881, Thomas Edison hired Samuel Insull as his private secretary. 1885, AT&T (American Telephone and Telegraph) was incorporated. The company was capitalized on only $100,000 and provided long distance service for American Bell. 1893, Edward G. Acheson showed his patent for Carborundum. 1900, In South Africa, British troops relieved Ladysmith, which had been under siege since November 2, 1899. 1911, Thomas A. Edison, Inc. was organized. 1940, The first televised basketball game was shown. The game featured Fordham University and the University of Pittsburgh from Madison Square Gardens in New York. 1951, A Senate committee issued a report that stated that there were at least two major crime syndicates in the U.S. 1953, In a Cambridge University laboratory, scientists James D. Watson and Francis H.C. Crick discovered the double-helix structure of DNA. 1954, In San Francisco "Birth of a Planet" was aired. It was the first American phase-contrast cinemicrography film to be presented on television. 1956, A patent was issued to Forrester for a computer memory core. 1962, The John Glenn for President club was formed by a group of Las Vegas republicans. 1974, The U.S. and Egypt re-established diplomatic relations after a break of seven years. 1979, Mr. Ed, the talking horse from the TV show "Mr. Ed", died. 1983, "M*A*S*H" became the most watched television program in history when the final episode aired. 1986, Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme was assassinated in Stockholm. 1993, U.S. Federal agents raided the compound of an armed religious cult in Waco, TX. The ATF had planned to arrest the leader of the Branch Davidians, David Koresh, on federal firearms charges. Four agents and six Davidians were killed and a 51-day standoff followed. 1994, NATO made its first military strike when U.S. F-16 fighters shot down four Bosnian Serb warplanes in violation of a no-fly zone over central Bosnia. 1995, The Denver International Airport opened after a 16- month delay. 1998, Serbian police began a campaign to wipe out "terrorist gangs" in the Yugoslav province of Kosovo. 2001, The Northwest region of the U.S., including the state of Washington, was hit by an earthquake that measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. There were no deaths reported. 2002, In Ahmadabad, India, Hindus set fire to homes in a Muslim neighborhood. At least 55 people were killed in the attack. 2002, Sotheby's auction house announced that it had identified Peter Paul Reubens as the creator of the painting "The Massacre of the Innocents." The painting was previously thought to be by Jan van den Hoecke. 2007, NASA's New Horizons spacecraft made a gravitational slingshot against Jupiter to change the planned trajectory towards Pluto. 2013, Benedict XVI resigned as pope. He was the first pope to resign since Gregory XII in 1415 and the first to resign voluntarily since Celestine V in 1294. 2022 Do smiled. 2birds-L.jpg
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