Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, January 10

1411
Ophelia DingbatterIf you like my work,
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 10, in 2002, In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all women could get the morning-after contraception pill for free in pharmacies. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Porch pirate seen wearing women's underwear as face mask _____________________________________________________ Q Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. --- Harry Golden (1902 - 1981) ____________________________________________________ Some people's nerves ! A bonehead award goes to Clarence Stucki of Logan Utah who apparently had been stealing electricity from a nearby power line for decades and who got caught when he called the electric company to complain that his power had gone off. It is estimated that over the years he stole about $82,000 of electricity. __________________________________________________ The skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question always asked: "If our chute doesn't open; and the reserve doesn't open, how long would we have till we hit the ground?" The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The whole rest of your life." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Spencer Gougler, Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA Porch pirate seen wearing women's underwear as face mask Oklahoma authorities said they caught a suspected porch pirate that donned "an unusual and questionably effective mask." He was seen wearing women's underwear over his face. Tulsa Police said on Friday, they were made aware of a porch pirate in one neighborhood. Surveillance images captured the suspect and officers were able to track down his vehicle. An officer recognized the suspect from previous porch pirate cases where he was seen wearing women's underwear as a mask. Authorities then tracked down the suspect at his home and knocked on his door. Spencer Gougler was inside but would not talk to the officers. After police executed a search warrant, Gougler was arrested. He faces several charges including larceny, grand larceny, and knowingly concealing stolen property. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ This country is so full of opportunity. Where else can a woman hire another woman to do her housework so that she can volunteer at the Day Care Center where the cleaning woman leaves her child? ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Plumber to wife of would-be handyman: "To ensure properly functioning plumbing, keep foreign objects out of your sinks and tubs, flush soap suds away with hot water -- and above all, hide your husband's wrenches." ____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Roland for this one: Dear Friends and Relatives: We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise five thousand dollars for a monument of Bill Clinton. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces. We then decided to erect a statue of Bill Clinton in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jessie Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference. We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's money. If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project. Thank you, Bill Clinton Monument Committee PS: In all this time of dedicated fundraising we have already collected a whopping $1.35 so far! __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Bonnie RE: Shortcut to Music folder Dear Webby Is there a way to create a short cut and thus a desk top icon to a music file folder that does not give that option when I right click on it? Getting to my music files is a small nuisance going through explorer & down several more clicks. Thank you!! Bonnie Dear Bonnie Just browse to that folder drag the icon from the left side of the address bar in file Explorer to an open spot on your desktop. Highlight that icon Hit F2 and rename it to something shorter. Right-click the icon and change the icon to something else. Hit APPLY, and OK. Done. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. ____________________________________________________ Today, January 10 in 1776, "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine was published. 1840, The penny post, whereby mail was delivered at a standard charge rather than paid for by the recipient, began in Britain. 1861, Florida seceded from the United States. 1863, Prime Minister Gladstone opened the first section of the London Underground Railway system, from Paddington to Farringdon Street. 1870, John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil. 1901, Oil was discovered at the Spindletop oil field near Beaumont, TX. 1911, Major Jimmie Erickson took the first photograph from an airplane while flying over San Diego, CA. 1920, The League of Nations ratified the Treaty of Versailles, officially ending World War I with Germany. 1927, Fritz Lang's film "Metropolis" was first shown in Berlin. 1928, The Soviet Union ordered the exile of Leon Trotsky. 1943, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt sailed from Miami, FL, to Trinidad thus becoming the first American President to visit a foreign country during wartime. 1943, The quiz show, "The Better Half," was heard for the first time on Mutual Radio. 1946, The first meeting of the United Nations General Assembly took place with 51 nations represented. 1950, Ben Hogan appeared for the first time in a golf tournament since an auto accident a year earlier. He tied Slammin Sammy Snead in the Los Angeles Open, however, Hogan lost in a playoff. 1951, Donald Howard Rogers piloted the first passenger jet on a trip from Chicago to New York City. 1978, The Soviet Union launched two cosmonauts aboard a Soyuz capsule for a redezvous with the Salyut VI space laboratory. 1981, In El Salvador, Marxist insurgents launched a "final offensive". 1984, The United States and the Vatican established full diplomatic relations for the first time in more than a century. 1986, The uncut version of Jerome Kerns musical, "Showboat", opened at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. 1990, Chinese Premier Li Peng ended martial law in Beijing after seven months. He said that crushing pro- democracy protests had saved China from "the abyss of misery." 1990, Time Inc. and Warner Communications Inc. completed a $14 billion merger. The new company, Time Warner, was the world's largest entertainment company. 1994, In Manassas, VA, Lorena Bobbitt went on trial. She had been charged with maliciously wounding her husband John. She was acquitted by reason of temporary insanity. 1997, Shelby Lynne Barrackman was strangled to death by her grand-father when she licked the icing off of cupcakes. He was convicted of the crime on September 15, 1998. 2000, It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever corporate merger priced at $162 billion. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) approved the deal on December 14, 2000. 2001, American Airlines agreed to acquire most of Trans World Airlines (TWA) assets for about $500 million. The deal brought an end to the financially troubled TWA. 2002, In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all women could get the morning-after contraception pill for free in pharmacies. 2003, North Korea announced that it was withdrawing from the global nuclear arms control treaty and that it had no plans to develop nuclear weapons. 2007, The iTunes Music Store reached 1.3 million feature length films sold and 50 million television episodes sold. 2019, In Venezuela, Juan Guaid and the National Assembly declared incumbent President Nicols Maduro "illegitimate" and started the process of attempting to remove him from office. 2020, The green Ford Mustang from the 1968 Steve McQueen thriller Bullitt" was sold for $3.4 million at the Mecum Auctions event in Kissimmee, FL. 2022 Do smiled.
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