Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, November 8 Thank you, Joseph! I gave up my Business account with Telus. $180 a month for a lousy 15 mbps, that they kept throttling down to 10, was not justified. So I dropped the business account and got a plain Jane home account for half the cost and 25 Mbps. They said it would take 3 hours for the installation. Well, a guy who looked about my age, came in, swapped the modem and I was running at 25 Mbps. 15 minute job. I had to re-establish the home network, but that was not a big deal. I should have made the switch a long time ago! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: 3 arrewsted for selling heroin from school bus  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 8 in 1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity reported the scientific principle involved. He took the first X-ray pictures, of his hand. See More of what happened on this day in history.
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 ______________________________________________________ To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. --- Quentin Crisp Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them. --- Ralph Gerard The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. --- Dudley Moore (1935 - 2002) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Mary for this story: An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter,"Want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day." ______________________________________________________   Newfoundland _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Barb for this classic: Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Rudencia Montes, 43, Juan Miranda-Ortiz, 33, Corrine Gentile, 33, Framingham, Massawhosits  Heroin dealing from school bus, 3 arrests  The driver of a van that transports special needs students to schools in Massachusetts allowed her boyfriend to sell drugs out of vehicle, according to authorities. Rudencia Montes, 43, a driver for an educational nonprofit for special needs students, was arrested on Friday after an officer witnesses a drug deal involving the van she was driving, Framingham Police told Boston 25 News. Montes was driving a white minivan that had a school sign on the roof when she turned into a park parking lot and another car pulled up next to the van, police said. The driver of the car, Corrine Gentile, 33, was seen by an officer completing a drug deal with the passenger of the van, Juan Miranda-Ortiz, 33, Framingham police spokeswoman Patricia Grigas told Boston 25 News. When police pulled over Gentile, they found an envelope containing two packets of heroin, authorities said. A subsequent traffic stop of Montes revealed an envelope inside the van that matched the one found earlier in Gentile's car, according to police. Montes and Miranda-Ortiz were charged with distributing heroin, conspiracy to violate the state's drug laws and a park zone violation, while Gentile was charged with possession of heroin and conspiracy to commit a crime. he educational nonprofit Montes drove for, Accept Education Collaborative, said it fired the 43-year-old after her arrest Friday. A spokesperson said no students were present or involved in the alleged drug deal. We take these matters very seriously. The safety of our students is our No. 1 concern," Executive Director Marcia Berkowitz told Boston 25 News in a statement. At a court appearance on Monday, Montes was held on $5,000 bail; Miranda-Ortiz was held on $25,000 bail; and Gentile was released on $200 bail.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Art Re: Shutter Delay Dear Webby, Dear Webby, My digital camera, a fairly expensive Kodak, has this very annoying delay between clicking a picture and it actually taking it. It seems totally useless for action shots. Am I doing something wrong? Art  Dear Art All digital cameras have SOME shutter delay. However, just like a Porsche takes off a lot faster than a farm tractor, that costs exactly the same amount of money, there is a very noticeable difference between different cameras. The quick action on my good old Canon Powershot was one of the major reasons for selecting it. When I need absolutely instant action, I line up an approximate shot and depress the shutter half way, to lock in the settings. Then when the bird is in the zoom center, I sqeeze the shutter all the way down and the picture is perfect. With cameras, that have a slower computer, you have to lead the same way as with a shotgun, and click before the action happens. Then it can slowly measure the distance and brightness and contrast, and adjust everything accordingly. Have FUN! DearWebby    
 Thanks to Roland for this story: A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout where she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable - it's just that you look so much like my late son." "Oh, that's ok," he said. "I know it's silly," she continued, "but if you called out 'Goodbye, Mother' as I leave, it would make me ever so happy." The old lady proceeded through the checkout and as she left the supermarket, the man called out "Goodbye Mother." The old lady waved back, and kindly smiled. Pleased he had brought a bit of sunshine to someone's day, the man went to pay for his groceries. "That'll be 105 dollars," said the clerk. "How come?" inquired the man. "I've only bought a few things!" "Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for hers." 
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 We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our 28-member family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!" "Don't look where?" my brother asked. "There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Paint Off Hinges  It can be difficult to put masking tape on hinges to keep paint off them. Instead, cover them with petroleum jelly. Any paint that gets on them will be easy to wipe off, even after the paint dries. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________  When my sister's husband died, she went to the bank to put his affairs in order. The young clerk looked up their joint account and then asked, "Which of you is deceased?" __________________________________________________  
 
Strange growing rocks in Romania. 
 From Zilla It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Dear Webby I love the delightful potpourri of humor and tips you send me every morning, and am grateful for your dilligent work! Margo ____________________________________________________  
 Today, November 8, in 1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for the first time. 1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. 1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first X-ray pictures. 1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as the "Beer-Hall Putsch." He was sent to jail for that, where he wrote his "Mein Kampf". 1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4 million unemployed people in the U.S. 1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and British forces landed in French North Africa. 1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a North Korean MiG-15. 1954 The American League approved the transfer of the Philadelphia Athletics baseball team to Kansas City, MO. 1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's only son. The socialist media did not approve. 1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage", premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary, but it evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980. 1979 U.S. Senators John Warner (R-VA) and Mac Mathias (R-MD) introduced legislation to provide a site on the National Mall for the building of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the planet Saturn. 1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was "an African State" that was "neither East nor West". 1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter, contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco, David Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to negotiate a release. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war. 1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist violence. 1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were valued at $52 million. 1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for the Three Gorges Dam. 2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993 seige of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 2009 The game Angry Birds Star Wars was released. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 
 

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