Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, January 31 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Ezinefinder's computer guy can't fix their problem, so they are giving up. They can't really compete even with all their staff voting, so they are going to try to convert it to a static page. There won't be any more voting or competing unless we find some other, independent voting site. If you know of one, please let me know. ___________________________________________________ Today, January 31 in 1876 All Native American Indians were ordered to move into reservations. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | Today's Bonehead Award: 19-year-old Belleville man was sentenced to seven years + for armed carjacking. __________________________________________ Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!" When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!" And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS...AMEN!" But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet, and one turned to the other and said, "He's quit preaching and now he's meddlin'." __________________________________________ Thanks to Barb for sendinbg me this picture: Doorway To Heaven ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Timothy Blassingame 19 Belleville Illinois 19-year-old Belleville man was sentenced to seven years + for armed carjacking. A 19-year-old Belleville man was sentenced to seven years Wednesday for armed carjacking. According to court documents, the crime occurred at approximately 4:30 p.m. on May 31, 2018, at the BP station in the 1400 block of Chouteau Avenue. The victim was sitting in his 2003 Trailblazer when two men approached, pointed a revolver at him, and ordered him out of the vehicle. The suspects took the victims cellphone and drove off in the Trailblazer. Later that evening, East St. Louis police observed the stolen Trailblazer and attempted to stop it. The two men in the vehicle led police on a high-speed pursuit from East St. Louis and into St. Louis. They also rammed a police car during the pursuit, which ended after the Trailblazer crashed near Jennings Station Road in north St. Louis County. Both men attempted then flee on foot but were eventually apprehended by police. They were identified as Timothy Blassingame and Andre King. Blassingame was 17 years old at the time he committed these crimes. He pleaded guilty in July 2018 to one count of carjacking and another count of brandishing a firearm in furtherance of a crime of violence. Blassingames sentence was ordered to be served consecutively to any sentence imposed in the Southern District of Illinois. Those proceedings, which charged Blassingame and King with interstate transportation of a stolen vehicle and armed robbery, remain ongoing. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Annie Re: Site can't be reached Dear Webby Thank you, Dear Webby. You are bookmarked and wow, this morning I cannot even reach your site! Even when I go to Google, this is the message I get; This site canât be reached webby.com refused to connect. Search Google for webby humor ERR_CONNECTION_REFUSED Looking for "normal" in my old age. Annie Dear Annie Here in Canada there is no problem getting to Webby.com Where are you? Try http://speedtest.net It is a free speed checker. Quite often, when running that, whoever was hogging the line , is chased off. You can also try START cmd [ENTER] Tracert webby.com [ENTER] That traces the route from you to Webby If you see stars (potholes) in that list, then there is a problem at that location. Usually the net routes around problems but it slows things down, if you have to go there via Turkmenistan. If you see more than one line of stars, or if the trace ends with stars, then call your ISP and complain. In that case the problem is their routing. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A man sat at a bar, drinking slowly. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. The bartender asked, "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?" The man said, "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month." The bartender said, "That should make you happy." The man said, "No, the month is up today!" If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | ___________________________________________________ When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The woman beside him peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, "It's okay. That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate!" the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how." ___________________________________________________ Dinnny O'Brian, a fine Catholic lad, was out looking for trouble. He tripped people on the street...threw bricks through windows....smacked folks on the top of the head and whatnot until a passing cop stopped him. "What's going on here!" bellowed the officer. "It's like this officer.", winked Dinny. "I am on my way over to the church to go to confession...and I'm a little short of material." ___________________________________________________ A guy, who had been lost and walking in the desert for about two weeks, finally finds the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the back door, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?" The missionary says, "Sure, but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop." Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, okay." He gets on the horse and says, "Thank God," and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God," and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop. "Whoa, stop, hold on!" Finally he remembers, "Amen!!" The horse stops four inches from the cliff. The man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God!" __________________________________________________ No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | ___________________________________________________ Today January 31 in 1606 Guy Fawkes was executed after being convicted for his role in the "Gunpowder Plot" against the English Parliament and King James I. 1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 1858 The Great Eastern, the five-funnelled steamship designed by Brunel, was launched at Millwall. 1865 In America, General Robert E. Lee was named general- in-chief of the Confederate armies. 1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by the U.S. House of Representatives. It was ratified by the necessary number of states on December 6, 1865. The amendment abolished slavery in the United States. 1876 All Native American Indians were ordered to move into reservations. 1893 The trademark "Coca-Cola" was first registered in the United States Patent Office. 1917 Germany announced its policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 1929 The USSR exiled Leon Trotsky. He found asylum in Mexico. 1930 U.S. Navy Lt. Ralph S. Barnaby became the first glider pilot to have his craft released from a dirigible, a large blimp, at Lakehurst, NJ. 1934 Jim Londos defeated Joe Savoldi in a one-fall match in Chicago, IL. The crowd of 20,000 was one of the largest crowds to see a wrestling match. 1940 The first Social Security check was issued by the U.S. Government. 1944 During World War II, U.S. forces invaded Kwajalein Atoll and other areas of the Japanese-held Marshall Islands. 1945 Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier since the U.S. Civil War to be executed for desertion. 1946 A new constitution in Yugoslavia created six constituent republics (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Macedonia) subordinated to a central authority, on the model of the USSR. 1949 The first TV daytime soap opera was broadcast from NBC's station in Chicago, IL. It was "These Are My Children." 1950 U.S. President Truman announced that he had ordered development of the hydrogen bomb. 1958 Explorer I was put into orbit around the earth. It was the first U.S. earth satellite. 1971 Astronauts Alan B. Shepard Jr., Edgar D. Mitchell and Stuart A. Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission to the moon. 1971 Telephone service between East and West Berlin was re-established after 19 years. 1982 Sandy Duncan gave her final performance as "Peter Pan" in Los Angeles, CA. She completed 956 performances without missing a show. 1983 The wearing of seat belts in cars became compulsory in Britain. 1983 JCPenney announced plans to spend in excess of $1 billion over the next five years to modernize stores and to accelerate a repositioning program. 1985 The final Jeep rolled off the assembly line at the AMC plant in Toledo, OH. 1990 McDonald's Corp. opened its first fast-food restaurant in Moscow, Russia. 1995 U.S. President Clinton invoked presidential emergency authority to provide a $20 billion loan to Mexico to stabilize its economy. 1996 In Columbo, Sri Lanka, a truck was rammed into the gates of the Central Bank. The truck filled with explosives killed at least 86 and injured 1,400. 2000 John Rocker (Atlanta Braves) was suspended from major league baseball for disparaging foreigners, homosexuals and minorities in an interview published by Sports Illustrated. 2000 An Alaska Airlines jet crashed into the ocean off Southern California. All 88 people on board were killed. 2001 A Scottish court in the Netherlands convicted one Libyan and acquitted a second in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that occurred in 1988. 2019 Do smiled. |
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