Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, April 17 Smallblessings.com is for sale: $100 You can use it for anything you want. Offer expires on 4/22/2018 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Two with paintball guns arrested, others, who use them, warned Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, April 17 in 1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. See More of what happened on this day in history.
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 ______________________________________________________ Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex One man's folly is another man's wife. --- Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ The building contractor proudly pointed to the nearly completed residence. "Lady, this house may seem a little shaky right now, but you just wait until we put up the wallpaper." _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Frederick Johnson, 27, DeShawn Dickey, 23, Jacksonville, Florida  Two with paintball guns arrested, others, who use them, warned  The Jacksonville Sheriff's Office said on Wednesday that two men were arrested after citizens reported them for shooting vehicles and property with paintball guns. Frederick Johnson, 27, and DeShawn Dickey, 23, were shooting paintball guns while wearing all-black clothing after dark on Bert Road, JSO said. Johnson and Dickey refused to stop when confronted by police but were eventually captured, JSO said. They believe several more people were involved. JSO noted that the pair were lucky not to encounter an armed citizen who may not realize the weapon is a paintball gun. "This could have deadly consequences, think before you act," JSO said in a tweet. JSO also said the pair are the latest in a string of incidents involving paintguns. The suspects usually shoot from rental or stolen vehicles, they said. Jacksonville Sheriff's Office Want to shoot vehicles, houses, or people with paintball guns? You're going to get arrested. This is not funny, this is not a joke. Shooting houses, cars, and people with paintball guns will land you in jail or possibly dead if you are encountered by an armed citizen or police officer who doesn't know what you are holding is a paintball gun. Fredrick Johnson, 27 years old and DeShawn Dickey, 23 years old and have been arrested after shooting paintball guns at people and hitting vehicles in the area wearing black masks and black clothing. This occurred in the 900 block of Bert Road around 8:30 p.m. These two when confronted by police, refused to stop, running from police with their paintball guns in hand. They DID NOT get away. A perimeter was set up and they were apprehended. A witness reported that multiple people in vehicles were also involved in these shootings but fled the scene.   Tech Support Pits From: Ricky Re: Slave setting  Dear Webby, How do I change a master hard drive to a slave? I have a couple older hard drives that I would like to be able to add to my com. There is one particular drive that I got out of a computer from freecycle.org, lets call that drive I, always starts when I turn on the computer. I end up running on "Windows 95" I dont' want that. I want to run my current drive, C, and be able to access I as a seperate drive. You see, drive I has a lot of music on it and I just want to be able to access it like I do any of my other spare drives.... Thanks Webby -Ricky  Dear Ricky On really old drives the jumpers for that are on the circuit board, on newer ones they are between the ribbon cable and the power plug-in. If you look close, you'll see one or two miniature Lego blocks. Those are the jumpers. Now, if you look at the label side of the drive, there is a small diagram showing you how to set the jumper to tell it to be a Master drive, Slave drive or RAID drive. With USB drive enclosures you can run another two drives. USB drives also have to be set as Slaves. Have FUN DearWebby    There was a king in Africa who had a close friend that he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!" One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail. About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied him to a stake surrounded by wood. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king had but one thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. They untied the king and sent him away. As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt so very badly about his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right" he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this." "No," his friend replied, "this is good!" "What do you mean, 'this is good'! How could it be good that I sent you, my good friend, to jail for all this time?" "If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you - and eaten! 
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 Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother." 
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 Early in the semester, a student stops by during the professor's office hours. He bids her enter. She glances up and down the hall, steps in, closes the door and says, "I would do anything to pass this class." She steps closer to his desk, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything," she replies. The professor's voice drops to a whisper and he says, "Would you...study?" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Surge Protector or Just a Power Strip It's a good idea to plug your computer into a power strip that has a surge protector in it. Not all power strips have this feature. If your power strip doesn't state that it has a surge protector it probably does not and you should upgrade to help protect your expensive electronics.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  Powerstrip surge protectors come in various grades. The under $15 type is good enough for power tools, but offers very little protection for delicate electronics. The component in a powerstrip that absorbs minor surges is so fanatically loyal that it suicides trying to protect the stuff plugged into it. It can only suicide once. To show you that it can not do that again, the little light will flicker or not stay on steadily. So, if you see the light on your surge protector flicker, it has become a hand-me-down to the work shop or garage. It will still be a much appreciated power strip there. Have FUN! DearWebby  ____________________________________________________  Thanks to Sandie for this story: When we agreed to help our sergeant move to a new apartment, we didn't know the elevator wasn't working. So after hours of carrying heavy boxes and furniture up 11 floors, we were wiped out. And when the sergeant asked us to search for his favorite pot, no one moved. "I'll give a bottle of Scotch to whoever finds it," he shouted. Within minutes, a private found the pot. "Good," said the sarge. "Now look for the Scotch."  
10 of the most terrible roads in the world. Takes a brave person to travel them! 
 ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Lynn for this story: My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet last week." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, April 17 in 1492 Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to find a passage to Asia and the Indies. 1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. 1524 New York Harbor was discovered by Giovanni Verrazano. 1629 Horses were first imported into the colonies by the American Massachusetts Bay Colony. 1704 John Campbell published what would eventually become the first successful American newspaper. It was known as the Boston "News- Letter." 1758 Frances Williams published a collection of Latin poems. He was the first African-American to graduate from a college in the western hemisphere. 1808 Bayonne Decree by Napoleon I of France ordered the seizure of U.S. ships, that were blockading food shipments to France. 1810 Pineapple cheese was patented by Lewis M. Norton. 1824 Russia abandoned all North American claims south of 54' 40'. 1860 New Yorkers learned of a new law that required fire escapes to be provided for tenement houses. 1861 Virginia became the eighth state to secede from the Union. 1864 U.S. Civil War General Grant banned the trading of prisoners. 1865 Mary Surratt was arrested as a conspirator in the Lincoln assassination. 1875 The game "snooker" was invented by Sir Neville Chamberlain. 1895 China and Japan signed the Treaty of Shimonoseki. It was the end of the first Sino-Japanese War. In the treaty China ceded Taiwan to Japan. 1917 A bill in Congress to establish Daylight Saving Time was defeated. It was passed a couple of months later. 1941 Igor Sikorsky accomplished the first successful helicopter lift- off from water near Stratford, CT. 1941 The office of Price Administration was established in the U.S. to handle rationing. 1946 The last French troops left Syria. 1961 About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. It was an unsuccessful attack. 1964 Jerrie Mock became first woman to fly an airplane solo around the world. 1964 The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model. 1967 The U.S. Supreme Court barred Muhammad Ali's request to be blocked from induction into the U.S. Army. 1969 In Los Angeles, Sirhan Sirhan was convicted of assassinating U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy. 1969 Czechoslovak Communist Party chairman Alexander Dubcek was deposed. 1970 Apollo 13 returned to Earth safely after an on-board accident with an oxygen tank. 1975 Khmer Rouge forces capture the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh. It was the end of the five-year war. 1983 In Warsaw, police routed 1,000 Solidarity supporters. 1983 In New York, a transit strike that began on March 7 ended. 1984 In London, demonstrators outside the Libyan Embassy were fired upon by someone inside. Eleven people were injured and an English Police woman was killed. 1985 In Lebanon, the cabinet resigned as Shiites took W. Beirut. 1987 In Sri Lanka, Tamil guerrillas killed 122 people in a road ambush. 1989 In Poland, courts gave Solidarity legal status. 1993 A federal jury in Los Angeles convicted two former police officers of violating the civil rights of beaten motorist Rodney King. Two other officers were acquitted. 1996 Erik and Lyle Menendez were sentenced to life in prison without parole for killing their parents. 1999 In India, the government of Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee collapsed after losing a vote of confidence. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

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