Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 18 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Parolee charged with torture, kidnapping, rape of 9-year-old girl from Farmington Hills ___________________________________________________ Today, October 18 in 1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ). ____________________________________________________ You can observe a lot just by watching. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties and nations, it is the rule. --- Friedrich Nietzsche Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) ____________________________________________________ Porridge: Budget conscious parent will tell you that it is a traditional, nutritious, lovingly prepared hot cereal breakfast dish. Kids will tell you that the name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE." ____________________________________________________ An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in his paintings that are on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replies. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor." ____________________________________________________  First snow of the season last night. Elks crossing the river ____________________________________________________ While searching for something else I came across a Humor Letter from 9/14/2001 and decided to reprint the introduction from it: Today is the 3rd day after the world changed forever. As I write this, there still has not been any official announcement as to who is responsible for the 911-massacres, and depending on the barber or taxi driver you listen to, it was anybody from the Amtrack railworkers union, to the Taliban to the World Monetary Fund protesters. What I did notice is that the already almost invisible border between the US and Canada has shrunk even more. Here, just like in the US, football games are cancelled, scheduled after-game tailgate parties happen anyway, but are wakes and vigils. Hand lettered signs on downtown boulevards call people to prayers in various churches. There are long line-ups at the Red Cross blood donor stations even though there has not been any call for blood, and the atmosphere is definitely rather tense. Life will go on, but it's as if the grinch stole Christmas and took all the fun out of behaving and being good. And somebody is going to regret being the cause of that. Not just families, but especially business people are changing travel plans drastically. For example the announcement that laptops will not be allowed as carry-on luggage any more, will totally change the way business is done. Nobody is silly enough to entrust a laptop with an important presentation and vital info to the luggage system, so meetings are postponed until alternate travel can be arranged. The world has suddenly become a large and awkward planet. Well, as General Patton said, it doesn't count if you get knocked down, what counts is how many times you get up again. So here are the jokes for today: ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Aaron McDonald, 40, Farmington Hills, Detroit, Michigan, USA Parolee charged with torture, kidnapping, rape of 9-year-old girl from Farmington Hills Aaron McDonald, 40, has been charged with kidnapping, sexual assault, strangulation, and torture after police said he picked up and kidnapping a 9-year-old girl and raping her. The suspect, Aaron McDonald, was arraigned on charges including abduction, criminal sexual conduct, strangulation, and torture. Prosecutor Karen McDonald (no relation to the suspect) said the victim likely would not have survived had she not escaped when she did. Farmington Hills Police Chief Jeff King discussed the charges against the suspect and released more details about the investigation Friday. He was joined by Detroit Police Chief James White and other law enforcement from the Detroit Police Department. According to police, McDonald lured the 9-year-old girl into his 2016 Jeep Renegade before driving to a parking lot between the abduction and location where the girl was later found. In that parking lot, King said he tried to sexually assault the girl in the car but she fought back. That's when King said he abducted her, sexually assaulted her, and then strangled and bound her before she was able to escapehile he slept. As police investigated and secured probable cause for his arrest, King said they monitored McDonald's activities to ensure he wouldn't harm anyone else. He was arrested Thursday. McDonald, 40, has two adult children and a third child on the way. His defense attorney said that his fiance is due to deliver the baby this month. He spent 13 years in prison and was paroled in May on two prior criminal sexual conduct convictions. McDonald was ordered held without bond due to his criminal past and he was ordered to not have any contact with the victim. During the arraignment, it was revealed that the suspect and the victim were complete strangers and they were not connected in any way. The girl had left her home near 8 Mile and Middlebelt in Farmington Hills around 4 p.m. Sunday and walked to Grand River and 8 Mile, where a male in a Jeep asked if she needed help. She was taken to a home near Eight Mile and Berg where she was assaulted. She was found a few blocks away wearing only a blanket. Police say she would have been killed if she had not managed to escape and get a stranger to help her. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Lynne Re: sorting and Tracking FB friends Dear Webby, I got way too many FB friends, and when I need to find a specific one, I waste an awful lot of time, and often get side tracked. What do you use? Lynne Dear Lynn I use a spreadsheet. You can use excel or the free Open Office CALC Put the name of the friend in the first column, then their FB user name or page URL in the second column, then a key word like "cousin" or "Locksmith" in the third column, and a wordy description in the 4th column. One row or line per person. You can even make additional columns for birthdays or anniversaries. Then you can do a search by any criteria, and if you want to sort them by birthdays, you can do that too. This is just the basics. Within a year you will have your spreadsheet totally customized for YOUR preferences. There is no limit to what you can do with spreadsheets! Have FUN! DearWebby
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_____________________________________________ A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does." ______________________________________________ Joe, it is OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound. ______________________________________________  Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and is apt to bite. The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks up at the wary assistant. "Don't worry," the parrot squawks, "this won't hurt a bit, ...... and you wanted a vasectomy anyway." ___________________________________________________ Today, October 18, in 1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 1685 King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant population. 1767 The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. 1842 Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable. 1860 British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of the Second Opium War. 1867 The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars (2 cents per acre). 1892 The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, IL, and New York City, NY, was opened. 1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from Spain. 1929 The Judicial Committee of Englands Privy Council ruled that women were to be considered as persons in Canada. 1944 Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during World War II. 1956 NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of radio- equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks. 1958 The first computer-arranged marriage took place on Art Linkletter's show. 1961 Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that the painting had been hanging upside down. 1968 Two black athletes, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, were suspended by the U.S. Olympic Committee for giving a "black power" salute during a ceremony in Mexico City. 1969 The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to evidence that they caused cancer. 1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ). 1983 General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. 1985 South African authorities hanged black activist Benjamin Moloise. Moloise had been convicted of murdering a police officer. 1989 Egon Krenz became the leader of East Germany after Erich Honecker was ousted. Honeker had been in power for 18 years. 1989 The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission that included the deployment of the Galileo space probe. 1990 Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil for $21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had been before the invasion of Kuwait. 1997 A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and present, was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery. 2013 Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat on the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat on December 6. 2021 Do smiled. |
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Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
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