| Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, March 28 ___________________________________________________ History: 2010 - China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: No Bail For 18-Year-Old Charged in Chicago Cop's Killing _____________________________________________ Q Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. --- Andy Rooney (1919 - ) ________________________________________________ Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little Copperhead snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he_ snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that he had been stealing building supplies for years from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?" his priest asked. "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake." "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But, if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber." ___________________________________________________ My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, my neighbor said, "Well, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's." _________________________________________________ Head rest ________________________________________________ An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required, so get the hell out of the car. The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat. Small problem, her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white women. No charges were filed. ____________________________________________________ A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "That's strange" said the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ >From Evelyn A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." ___________________________________________________ To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been reported by Rock Steven Montano, 18, Chicago, Illinois, USA No Bail For 18-Year-Old Charged in Chicago Cop's Killing Here are the top headlines you need to know as you start your day on March 27, 2023. An 18-year-old accused in the fatal shooting of Chicago police officer Andrs Vsquez Lasso has been mandatorily held without bail after appearing in court on Wednesday. The appearance marks the first time Steven Montano has been seen in court, after he remained hospitalized in critical condition for previous proceedings. Earlier this month, a judge ordered Montano held without bond. Montano, of the 2500 block of South Lawndale Avenue, faces a first-degree murder charge, in addition to felony charges of aggravated unlawful use of a weapon with no FOID card and aggravated discharge of a firearm near a school building, authorities said. He also faces two misdemeanor charges, for simple assault and interfering with the reporting of domestic violence respectively, officials said. The 18-year-old was taken into custody moments after the fatal shooting of 32-year-old Vasquez-Lasso, who was laid to rest as thousands of mourners gathered in Chicago earlier this month. The officer was shot several times on March 1 on the citys Southwest Side, in the Gage Park neighborhood. An assistant public defender representing Montano in the most recent hearing said she had not had the opportunity to speak with her client and could provide no information about him. A public defender for Montano called him an "honor student" who had mentored young children in Lawndale. The judge said that didn't change what he did, while calling Montano a "flight risk" and "danger to the community." Chicago Fraternal Order of Police President John Catanzara said this was a clear-cut case. "I don't know where his life changed, but it wasn't by accident, it was by design. He decided he wanted to go the fast and loose path and play the run-and-gun street game, and sadly, Andres paid for it with his life," Catanzara said. Prosecutors said Montano was being chased when he suddenly turned around and pointed a gun at Vsquez Lasso. They said Vsquez Lasso gave "multiple verbal commands" to Montano to stop running, but as the officer approached him, Montano "looked over his shoulder" and "immediately turned toward [Vsquez Lasso] while racking the slide on his pistol." At that point, both the officer and the suspect fired their guns. "At close range, shots were exchanged," Chicago Police Supt. David Brown said. According to authorities, the officer was struck multiple times in the head and legs, but managed to return fire, striking Montano in the head. Prosecutors said in court Friday that Montano was uncooperative after the shooting and was Tased before being taken into custody. The shooting took place near a school playground, forcing students to take shelter. "At the time of the shooting, there were civilians, including multiple children, on the playground who took cover under a slide," the proffer from bond court stated. According to officials, an investigation is ongoing, and body camera footage from the responding officers is currently being reviewed. Montano, of the city's Little Village neighborhood, was previously charged with a misdemeanor in connection with a July 2022 incident in which he fled on foot from a vehicle that was stopped by Chicago police, officials have confirmed. ___________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Spreadsheet lines Hi Dear Webby. thank you for quick response. I am using O O, which I should have mentioned. I can't locate the button with the sidelines. I just want the grid lines to show when printing the page. Be well, live long, prosper, and Carpe Diem, Walter Dear Walter File NEW Spreadsheet Scroll WAY over to the right till you see the crosdsdhairs. That lets you choose what kind of grid lines you want, horizontal, vertical, both, just the selection, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, March 28 in 1774 - Britain passed the Coercive Act against Massachusetts. 1797 - Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine. 1834 - The U.S. Senate voted to censure President Jackson for the removal of federal deposits from the Bank of the United States. 1854 - The Crimean War began with Britain and France declaring war on Russia. 1864 - A group of Copperheads attack Federal soldiers in Charleston, IL. Five were killed and twenty were wounded. 1865 - Outdoor advertising legislation was enacted in New York. The law banned "painting on stones, rocks and trees." 1885 - The Salvation Army was officially organized in the U.S. 1898 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a child born in the U.S. to Chinese immigrants was a U.S. citizen. This meant that they could not be deported under the Chinese Exclusion Act. 1905 - The U.S. took full control over Dominican revenues. 1910 - The first seaplane took off from water at Martinques, France. The pilot was Henri Fabre. 1917 - During World War I the Womens Army Auxiliary Corps (WAAC) was founded. 1922 - Bradley A. Fiske patented a microfilm reading device. 1930 - Constantinople and Angora changed their names to Istanbul and Ankara respectively. 1933 - In Germany, the Nazis ordered a ban on all Jews in businesses, professions and schools. 1938 - In Italy, psychiatrists demonstrated the use of electric-shock therapy for treatment of certain mental illnesses. 1939 - The Spanish Civil War ended as Madrid fell to Francisco Franco. 1941 - The Italian fleet was defeated by the British at the Battle of Matapan. 1942 - British naval forces raided the Nazi occupied French port of St. Nazaire. 1945 - Germany launched the last of the V-2 rockets against England. 1947 - The American Helicopter Society revealed a flying device that could be strapped to a person's body. 1962 - The U.S. Air Force announced research into the use of lasers to intercept missiles and satellites. 1967 - Raymond Burr starred in a TV movie titled "Ironside." The movie was later turned into a television series. 1968 - The U.S. lost its first F-111 aircraft in Vietnam when it vanished while on a combat mission. North Vietnam claimed that they had shot it down. 1974 - A streaker ran onto the set of "The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson." 1979 - A major accident occurred at Pennsylvania's Three Mile Island nuclear power plant. A nuclear power reactor overheated and suffered a partial meltdown. 1981 - In Bangkok, Thailand, Indonesian terrorists hijacked an airplane. Four of the five terrorists were killed on March 31. 1986 - The U.S. Senate passed $100 million aid package for the Nicaraguan contras. 1986 - More than 6,000 radio stations of all format varieties played "We are the World" simultaneously at 10:15 a.m. EST. 1990 - Jesse Owens received the Congressional Gold Medal from U.S. President George H.W. Bush. 1990 - In Britain, a joint Anglo-U.S. "sting" operation ended with the seizure of 40 capacitors, which can be used in the trigger mechanism of a nuclear weapon. 1991 - The U.S. embassy in Moscow was severely damaged by fire. 1994 - Violence between Zulus and African National Congress supporters took the lives of 18 in Johannesburg. 1999 - Paraguay's President Ral Cubas Grau resigned after protests inspired by the assassination of Vice-President Luis Mara Argaa on March 23. The nation's Congress had accused Cubas and his political associate, Gen. Lino Csar Oviedo, for Cubas' murder. Senate President Luis Gonzlez Macchi took office as Paraguay's new chief executive. 2002 - The exhibit "The Italians: Three Centuries of Italian Art" opened at the National Gallery of Australia. 2010 - China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit. 2017 - In Kimberley, Western Australia, a sauropod foot print was found that measured five feet and nine inches long. 2023, Do smiled.
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