Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 6 Thank you, Micki! Still problems at Telus! On May 31 at 10 am Telus messed up my connection. After more than half an hour arguing with their "support", who seemed to sitting at a Starbucks in Turkmenistan or wherever with a cell phone, and not admitting the problem, I got some sort of slow connection. They broke that again at 5 PM, and I had to argue with some other Taliban for almost an hour to get at least a slow connection. They claimed that "the copper is getting old and that I need to connect to fiber". That is a total lie. I can connect via FTP, SSH, Skype and email, so obviously the copper is just fine. Copper does not get old. Their "support" doesn't know what a router is or how to do a trace. (START, cmd,  type tracert telus.com ) You can of course type google.com or any site you want. Then it will build a trace from you to that site. Straight up to my ISP there should just be 3 or 4 hops. Not total failure after 30 hops.  Tracing route to telus.com [205.206.163.40] over a maximum of 30 hops: 1 1 ms 1 ms 1 ms 192.168.1.254 2 8 ms 7 ms 7 ms 10.145.156.1 3 * * * Request timed out. 4 8 ms 8 ms 8 ms 96.1.213.13 5 8 ms 8 ms 8 ms 204.191.23.241 6 * * * Request timed out. 7 * * * Request timed out. 8 * * * Request timed out. 9 * * * Request timed out. 10 * * * Request timed out. 11 * * * Request timed out. 12 * * * Request timed out. 13 * * * Request timed out. 14 * * * Request timed out. 15 * * * Request timed out. 16 * * * Request timed out. 17 * * * Request timed out. 18 * * * Request timed out. 19 * * * Request timed out. 20 * * * Request timed out. 21 * * * Request timed out. 22 * * * Request timed out. 23 * * * Request timed out. 24 * * * Request timed out. 25 * * * Request timed out. 26 * * * Request timed out. 27 * * * Request timed out. 28 * * * Request timed out. 29 * * * Request timed out. 30 * * * Request timed out.  Try it! You will see how straight YOUR connection is. It won't put anything onto your computer. A trace is just to your monitor. Just one pothole and quickly recovering is not a problem. Total failure after 30 hops, THAT is a problem. I tried phoning them again, probably the 57th time, and requested a callback, because they are overwhellmed with complaints and can't answer right away. A fast mumbling Taliban with a strong Turkmenistan accent eventually called. I was not able to understand him and told him to try talking slower. So he hung up on me. Nobody else called back. Telus has good copper, but totally unhelpful "support". Unfortunately, they have an illegal monopoly here, similar to the Government in Venezuela. If you have an alternative where you are, go for the alternative! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Today's Bonehead Award Wannabe terrorist arrested  ___________________________________________________ Today, June 5 in 1752 Benjamin Franklin flew a kite for the first time to demonstrate that lightning was a form of electricity. ____________________________________________________ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. --- Redd Foxx (1922 - 1991) ____________________________________________________ At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, the pastor leans over and says to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your special Easter dress? Do you wear it at other times too?" The girl replied, directly into the pastor's microphone, "Yes, it's my Easter dress, and I can wear it only once a year, 'cause Mom says all these ruffles and lace are a pain in the as* to iron." ____________________________________________________   Mammillaria zeilmanianna ____________________________________________________ Linda was having several couples over for dinner, so she wanted to cook something special. She slaved for hours that afternoon and finally created a masterpiece. Salmon mousse. Just before her guests arrived, she caught her cat nibbling away at the dish on the dining room table. She had worked so hard that she couldn't throw the mousse away, so she smoothed it over and served it anyway. Well, the mousse was a hit. Everyone took seconds or thirds. Proudly she stood to bring the empty plate out to the kitchen and looked out the window. There, next to the house, lay her cat. Dead. She had to confess to her guests that she'd served mousse eaten by the cat and now the cat was dead. The entire dinner party rushed to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped. The housewife, who hadn't eaten any because she knew her cat had, lay in bed--mourning the passing of her cat and fearing that the same fate could befall her guests. Then, the phone rang. It was her next door neighbor who said, " I'm sorry about your cat. I should have told you that I ran her over but I was just so ashamed and saw that you had a dinner party in progress....So I just put her on your lawn." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Coleman Thomas Blevins, 28, Kerrville, Texas, USATh  Wannabe terrorist arrested  Authorities in Texas arrested a man accused of plotting to carry out a mass shooting at a Walmart, and a search of the suspect's home turned up firearms, ammunition and materials officials described as "radical ideology paraphernalia." Coleman Thomas Blevins, 28, was arrested May 28 in Kerrville and has been charged with making a "terroristic threat to create public fear of serious bodily injury," the Kerr County Sheriff's Office said in a news release on May 30. Investigators said they intercepted a message from Blevins on May 27 indicating he was "preparing to proceed with a mass shooting," and that the threat included Walmart. Blevins was taken into custody the next day. Authorities searched his home and, according to the release, "firearms, ammunition, electronic evidence, concentrated THC, and radical ideology paraphernalia, including books, flags, and handwritten documents were seized." Blevins is on felony probation and was not supposed to have guns, the release said. He was booked into the Kerr County Jail in Kerrville, a city about 70 miles (113 kilometers) northwest of San Antonio. Jail records didn't list an attorney who could comment on Blevins' behalf. "This case reminds us that we need to always be vigilant. Many think that cant happen here, and it was well on the way to happening," said Sheriff Larry Leitha, "Our investigators did outstanding work in this case, and possibly saved many lives. The plot interrupted in this case is unthinkable."  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: DearWebby RE: Telus Problem Obviously the problem is not the copper, but Telus in Calgary, either playing stupid games, or just routine incompetence.  Dear Do! Telus is still handicapping me. You see the trace up above. Have you ever heard of a worse ISP? Have FUN! DearWebby 
 As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward, "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short." 
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 Nancy stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, ma'am?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book." Nancy stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, ma'am?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book." ___________________________________________ A soldier was asked to report to the camp office for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible. The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine." ____________________________________________ A Southern preacher was using the new sound system of the church for the first time and jerking the microphone cord along behind him as he briskly moved about the platform. He had never heard his voice amplyfied like that and was getting right into the spirit of things and gesticulating just as wildly as he was yelling into the microphone. As he moved farther over to one side, he got wound up in the cord and nearly tripped before jerking it free again. After several circles and jerks, Little Johnny leaned toward his mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, we better run!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, June 5, in 1595 Henry IV's army defeated the Spanish at the Battle of Fontaine-Francaise. 1752 Benjamin Franklin flew a kite for the first time to demonstrate that lightning was a form of electricity. 1794 The U.S. Congress prohibited citizens from serving in any foreign armed forces. 1827 Athens fell to the Ottomans. 1851 Harriet Beecher Stow published the first installment of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" in "The National Era." 1865 The first safe deposit vault was opened in New York. The charge was $1.50 a year for every $1,000 that was stored. 1884 U.S. Civil War General William T. Sherman refused the Republican presidential nomination, saying, "I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected." 1917 American men began registering for service in World War I. 1924 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson transmitted the first facsimile message across the Atlantic Ocean. 1927 Johnny Weissmuller set two world records in swimming events. Weissmuller set marks in the 100-yard, and 200-yard, free-style swimming competition. 1933 President Roosevelt signed the bill that took the U.S. off of the gold standard. 1940 During World War II, the Battle of France began when Germany began an offensive in Southern France. 1942 In France, Pierre Laval congratulated French volunteers that were fighting in the U.S.S.R. with Germans. 1944 The first B-29 bombing raid hit the Japanese rail line in Bangkok, Thailand. 1946 The first medical sponges were first offered for sale in Detroit, MI. 1947 U.S. Secretary of State George C. Marshall gave a speech at Harvard University in which he outlined the Marshall Plan. 1956 Premier Nikita Khrushchev denounced Josef Stalin to the Soviet Communist Party Congress. 1967 The National Hockey League (NHL) awarded three new franchises. The Minnesota North Stars (later the Dallas Stars), the California Golden Seals (no longer in existence) and the Los Angeles Kings. 1967 The Six Day War between Israel and Egypt, Syria and Jordan began. 1975 Egypt reopened the Suez Canal to international shipping, eight years after it was closed because of the 1967 war with Israel. 1981 In the U.S., the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that five men in Los Angeles were suffering from a rare pneumonia found in patients with weakened immune systems. They were the first recognized cases of what later became known as AIDS. 1986 A federal jury in Baltimore convicted Ronald W. Pelton of selling secrets to the Soviet Union. Pelton was sentenced to three life prison terms plus 10 years. 1998 A strike began at a General Motors Corp. parts factory near Detroit, MI, that closed five assembly plants and idled workers across the U.S. for seven weeks. 1998 Volkswagen AG won approval to buy Rolls-Royce Motor Cars for $700 million, outbidding BMW's $554 million offer. 1998 A strike at a General Motors parts factory began. It lasted for seven weeks. 2001 Amazon.com announced that it would begin selling personal computers later in the year. 2004 The U.S.S. Jimmy Carter was christened in the U.S. Navy in Groton, CT. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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