Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, October 13 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Calif. mom who received $4.9M after police killed her son was arrested for buying guns for other son, gang ___________________________________________________ Today, October 13 in 1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides and signed an armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. ____________________________________________________ The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum. --- Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939) Somebody once asked Abe Lincoln, "How long should a man's legs be?" His answer was, "Long enough to reach the ground." "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." --- Sydney J. Harris ____________________________________________________ A monastery in the English countryside has fallen on hard times, and the monks decide to open a fish- and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, "I suppose you're the 'fish friar?'" "No," answered the brother, straight-faced. "I'm the 'chip monk.'" ____________________________________________________ Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!" ____________________________________________________  ____________________________________________________ Q. What is the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A. A hunter lies in wait and a fisherman waits and lies. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Christina Lopez, Fresno, California, USA Calif. mom who received $4.9M after police killed her son was arrested for buying guns for other son, gang Fresno, California woman, Christina Lopez, received a nearly $5 million settlement after the police killed her son has been arrested for using some of that money to buy guns for another son and gang members. Christina Lopez, 42, was one of 14 people charged in the takedown of a Fresno-area gang that was allegedly involved in the shooting death of a man in July, according to the Fresno County Sheriffs Office. Police say the murder was a hit ordered on behalf of the gang by a 47-year-old murder convict serving a life sentence. In April, Lopezs family was awarded $4.9 million from the city of Fresno as a result of a police shooting that killed her 16-year- old son Isiah Murrietta-Golding after he fled from law enforcement. Investigators say Lopez purchased guns for her 14-year-old son who was part of the gang, and the son then shared or sold the guns to other members of the gang. Lopez faces 22 felony counts of conspiracy to provide firearms to a minor for the benefit of a street gang as well as child endangerment and conspiracy to provide a firearm to a gang member. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Gina Re: Stop automatic updates Dear Webby, Many years ago, when I was young and beautiful, you cautioned about automatic updates. Well, with this machine I forgot to disable them, and now I don't even remember how to do that. HELP! Gina Dear Gina Control Panel System & Security Windows Update Change Settings Select "Check for updates but let me choose whether to download and install them" And hit OK at the bottom. Have FUN! DearWebby
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_____________________________________________ One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white? Were you THAT bad ?" ______________________________________________ Woman's Wine Quote: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which we'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter Wine Quote: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you nothing but a headache." ______________________________________________  Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Bert's wife decided to use curlers in her hair after she washed it. She came into the Family Room as Bert was watching TV. He said he only stared at her for a moment when she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? At what time is it set to go off?" ___________________________________________________ Today, October 13, in 1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a naval fleet. 1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House in 1818 after the Canucks had torched it and it had to be whitewashed with lime. 1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S. invasion of Canada. 1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides and signed an armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed at Piraeus. 1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on an hour long special. 1960 The World Series ended on a home run for the first time. Bill Mazeroski's homerun allowed the Pirates to beat the Yankees. 1962 "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one minute. 1999 The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT). 2010 Near Copiap, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in San Jos Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 2021 Do smiled. |
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