Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, November 3 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Ellen Price Blames Speeding on Divorce, Lexapro. Refuses Breath Test ___________________________________________________ Today, November 3 in 1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. ____________________________________________________ Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields. --- Peter Borden As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. --- Phyllis Diller A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. --- Phyllis Diller "All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." --- Galileo Galilei ____________________________________________________ >You never really learn to swear until you >learn to drive. Oh Really ? Run a team of sled dogs for a few seasons. You will invent words that will make a submariner blush, not just a cabbie! ____________________________________________________  Rock Hyrax, Ethiopia. Size of a Gopher, but related to elephants. Even has tusks! ____________________________________________________ Harold and David are out in the woods hunting, when David falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. Harold whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend looks like he's dead! What can I do?" The police operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help... First, lets make sure he really is dead." ...There is a silence, then a shot is heard... Harold then says, "OK, now what?" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Ellen Price, Delray Beach, Florida, USA Ellen Price Blames Speeding on Divorce, Lexapro. Refuses Breath Test A Delray Beach woman who police say was driving 80 miles per hour on a rain-slickened Military Trail in the middle of the night was jailed on a DUI charge. Ellen Price, of Barwick Ranch Circle in Delray Beach, allegedly told police she was taking Lexapro which made her feel f-d up. She said she was taking the medication while dealing with her divorce. This is the official narrative from the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office Deputy who arrested Price: On Sunday, October 24th, 2021 at approximately 11:17 pm while performing the duties of a Palm Beach County Sheriffs Deputy; I was on Military Trail near Capital Drive conducting speed enforcement. I observed a white vehicle with no other vehicles around it traveling south in the inside lane that appeared to be traveling at a high rate of speed. The vehicle was estimated to be traveling at 70 miles per hour in a posted 45 zone. I then clocked the vehicle using my laser and had a read out of 70 miles per hour. It should be noted that the roadway at this time was wet. The vehicle was constantly changing lanes and continued to speed without noticing I was behind them. The above-mentioned vehicle traveled over 80 miles per hour but I was unable to pace clock the vehicle. I then activated my emergency equipment and conducted a traffic stop on the vehicle on Old Boynton Road/Military Trail. The vehicle was bearing a Florida tag. I exited my vehicle, making a drivers side approach to the vehicle. I introduced myself and stated the reason for the stop. The driver stated she didnt know she was speeding. She began speaking about her divorce and stated that she took Lexapro. I asked what it is used for and she stated its an anti-depressant. I then asked when did she take it and stated around 3:00 pm. I also asked if she had been drinking today but she stated no. While speaking with the driver she stated that the medication has her feeling fed up. I noticed she had dilated pupils and slurred speech. I then asked for DL and she stated she left it at home. After returning to the vehicle, I asked Ellen to exit the vehicle and walk to the front of mine. Based on my suspicion that she was under the influence, I asked Ellen would she consent to performing Standardized Field Sobriety Evaluations (SFSTs) for the purpose of determining if she was impaired while operating a motor vehicle. She consented to perform the exercisesShe then asked if she can leave her car here and go home. Police state that Ellen Price had issues performing most of the tests, including missing the tip of her nose multiple times when asked to touch it. She was placed under arrest and charged with DUI. She additionally, according to police, refused to submit to a breath test which results in an automatic license suspension. Ellen Price was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail and later released on her own recognizance. Shell be back in court on November 18th. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Annalee Re: Spell Check on Chrome Dear Webby, I need a free spell checker, that works on Chrome. What have you got in your goodie bag? Annalee Dear Annalee How Do I Enable Spell Check for Google Chrome? Go to Settings. Scroll all the way down and click on Advanced Settings. Under Privacy, find out Use a web service to help resolve spelling errors. Turn on the feature by tapping on the slider. The slider will turn blue when the spelling checker is turned on. Have FUN! DearWebby
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_____________________________________________ I noticed the neighbor down the street was sitting on his porch all day every every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened. Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him. ______________________________________________ For the second time in a row, Jill was forced to impose on the woman with whom she carpooled to her children's soccer practices. Jill phoned and explained that her husband had the car again, so she wouldn't be able to take her turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up her son, her husband showed up. Since it was too late for her to call and say she could drive after all, Jill asked her husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. She also explained to her son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts. Unfortunately, her husband forgot and was in front of the house chatting with a friend when her carpool partner arrived. When her son returned from practice, Jill asked him if she had noticed. "Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't really know for sure." ______________________________________________  Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
"Watch out," the wife cautioned her husband, who was driving. "Don't you see that car is braking?" Then she snapped, "Don't pass that truck - his tire is wobbling." The husband turned on his CB and informed the trucker about his loose wheel. The wife, in a nasty mood because of a headache, was irritated by the incessant squealing of the CB. "Why do you always get so much static?" she asked. "Because," her long-suffering husband replied, "I'm married." ___________________________________________________ Today, November 3, in 1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at New York's Madison Square Garden. 1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet and William C. Durant. 1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a supermarket in Chester, NY. 1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of seven American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra affair. 1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to Iran. 1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 1992 Carol Moseley-Braun became the first African-American woman U.S. senator. 1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had been abducted by a black carjacker. 1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103. 1998 Bob Kane, the creator of Batman, died at the age of 83. 1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to prepare to battle "the U.S. monster." 1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro wrestler, as its governor. 2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a 58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution was unveiled. 2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for business. 2021 Do smiled. |
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