Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, Aug 2 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Australias Weather Bureau Caught AGAIN Tampering With Climate Numbers to fake warming  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, Aug 2 in 1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. --- Jerome K. Jerome (1859 - 1927) Regret for the things, that you did not do, always hurts much more, than forgiveable guilt for the few misdeeds, which you actually did. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Old age is when former classmates are so gray, wrinkled, and bald they don't recognize you. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ "Daddy, how was I born?" Dad answered: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together on Skype. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: "You've Got Male!" ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Andrew Johnson, Director of Meteorology, Australia  Australias Weather Bureau Caught AGAIN Tampering With Climate Numbers to fake warming  Australian scientists at the Bureau of Meteorology (BOM) ordered a review of temperature recording instruments after the government agency was caught AGAIN tampering with temperature logs in several locations. Meteorologist Lance Pidgeon watched the 13 degrees Fahrenheit Goulburn recording from July 2 disappear from the bureau's website. The temperature readings fluctuated briefly and then disappeared from the government's website. "The temperature dropped to minus 10 (13 degrees Fahrenheit), stayed there for some time and then it changed to minus 10.4 (14 degrees Fahrenheit) and then it disappeared," Pidgeon said, adding that he notified scientist Jennifer Marohasy about the problem, who then brought the readings to the attention of the bureau. "The bureau's quality-control system, designed to filter out spurious low or high values was set at minus 10 minimum for Goulburn which is why the record automatically adjusted," a bureau spokeswoman told reporters Monday. BOM added that there are limits placed on how low temperatures are allowed to go in some areas of the country (so as not to show actual cooling). If temperatures were lower than Global Warming predictions, then they were automatically "adjusted" upward to suit the Global Warming and Carbon Tax activists. Bureaus Chief Executive Andrew Johnson told Australian Environment Minister Josh Frydenberg that the failure to record the low temperatures at Goulburn in early July was due to faulty equipment. A similar failure wiped out a reading of 13 degrees Fahrenheit at Thredbo Top on July 16, even though temperatures at that station have been recorded as low as 5.54 degrees Fahrenheit. Marohasy, for her part, told reporters that Johnson's claims are nearly impossible to believe given that there are screen shots that show the very low temperatures before being "quality assured" out. The equipment itself showed the correct temperature, before the fakers messed with the logs. It could take several weeks before the equipment is eventually tested, reviewed and ready for service, Johnson said. BOM has been put under the microscope before for similar manipulations. The agency was accused in 2014 of tampering with the country's temperature record to make it appear as if temperatures had warmed over the decades, according to reports in August 2014. Marohasey claimed at the time that BOM's adjusted temperature records are "propaganda" and not science. She analyzed raw temperature data from places across Australia, compared them to BOM data, and found the agency's data created an artificial warming trend. Marohasey said BOM adjustments changed Aussie temperature records from a slight cooling trend to one of "dramatic warming" over the past century.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Swapping Monitors Dear Webby, Love your newsletter! How hard is it to change monitors? I'm using a 2-yr-old, medium-quality 17" flat-panel model on my WinXP PC now and somebody gave me a brand new Dell 17" flat-panel monitor along with the User Documentation disc. Would it be very hard for a mostly computer-illiterate like me to do? --Lynn  Dear Lynn The biggest challenge is opening the cardboard box and taking the new monitor out. Cut the tape on top, open the flaps all the way and tape them to the side. Take out any paperwork and styrofoam stuff. Turn the box upside down. Lift the box off the monitor. Lift the monitor from the floor or table to where it is needed. Then the fancy electical work: Unplug the cables at the old monitor. Knock the old monitor onto the floor or onto a soft easy chair. Push the new monitor in place. Plug the old cables into the new monitor. That's all there is to it. You can't plug the cables in wrong, there is only one way they will fit. Have FUN! DearWebby    Thanks to Ed for this: Wife to Husband... "I'll have you know that I stuck-up for you today". Husband..."Really? What happened". Wife..."Another woman at my card party said that you were so- sloppy that you wasn't fit to live with pigs... and I told her that you definitely ARE!" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How Do I Get Rid of that Fried Smell after Cooking?  Place a couple of bowls of straight vinegar in the kitchen. By Lee-Ann I light a candle before I start cooking. It always works for me. By starla  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Thank you Vietnam Vets 
 ____________________________________________________  Thanks to Dianne for this old favorite: The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, dummy - Get in." ___________________________________________________  
 
 Venus, the second planet from the sun. 
 ___________________________________________________ "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's women's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ During the wedding reception in the family mansion, the bride's Grandfather slipped her five $100 bills which she concealed in her glove, since he told her to keep it for "mad money". By tradition, the couple spent their first night together in the family's historic house. The bride's Grandmother saw her sneaking down the stairs later that night, and asked where she was going. "I left my gloves in the library, Grand-MaMa, and it's important that I have them." "Oh you youngsters!" the Grandmother sighed. "You march yourself right back upstairs and grab hold of him with your bare hands, just like I grabbed your Grandfather!" 
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 1791 Samuel Briggs and his son Samuel Briggs, Jr. received a joint patent for their nail-making machine. They were the first father-son pair to receive a patent. 1858 In Boston and New York City the first mailboxes were installed along streets. 1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire. 1892 Charles A. Wheeler patented the first escalator. 1926 John Barrymore and Mary Astor starred in the first showing of the Vitaphone System. The system was the combining of picture and sound for movies. 1939 Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt urging the U.S. to have an atomic weapons research program. 1939 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the Hatch Act. The act prohibited civil service employees from taking an active part in political campaigns. 1945 The Allied conference at Potsdam was concluded. 1964 The Pentagon reported the first of two North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. Apparently the North Vietnamese did not like getting shelled by foreigners. 1990 Iraq invaded the oil-rich country of Kuwait. Iraq claimed that Kuwait had driven down oil prices by exceeding production quotas set by OPEC. 1995 China ordered the expulsion of two U.S. Air Force officers. The two were said to have been caught spying on military sites. 2017 Do smiled.

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