Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, July 31 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: NC teen arrested after he kidnapped, raped, robbed a couple of tourists, who were walking to hotel  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 31 in 1498 Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the Western Hemisphere, bumped into the island of Trinidad. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ We are the people our parents warned us about. --- Jimmy Buffett ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang "Happy Birthday" to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number. "Don't let it bother you," said a strange but amused voice. "You folks need all the practice you can get." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he left the bar some time later, he realized that his horse had been stolen. The cowboy rushed back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking, and then fired a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I did back in Texas. And let me tell you, I don't wanna have to do what I did back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, then walked outside to find his horse was back. So, he saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and said, "Say partner, what happened in Texas anyway?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!" ______________________________________________________   Double _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Tevin Quayshawn Williams, 19, Charlotte, North Carolina  NC teen arrested after he kidnapped, raped, robbed a couple of tourists, who were walking to hotel  A couple who was visiting Charlotte were reportedly kidnapped, robbed and sexually assaulted by a teenager who was later arrested, according to Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police. Police say the couple was returning to their hotel in uptown Charlotte early Thursday morning and was walking along the 200 block of E. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard when they were approached by a man with a gun. That man, later identified as 19-year-old Tevin Quayshawn Williams, then forced the couple into an alley, bound the man and sexually assaulted the woman. He then reportedly robbed the couple and ran from the scene. He reportedly took their clothes, cellphones and wallets when he left. The couple, according to police, were able to run to a nearby hotel and call 911. Officers say they were able to provide a very detailed description of the man. Officers in the area began searching for the man with the police helicopter and K9 units. They later spotted him near Trade and Tryon streets in uptown Charlotte and say he appeared to be trying to avoid officers. He was arrested around 2:30 a.m. Thursday morning. Williams was charged with two counts of first-degree rape, three counts of first-degree sex offense, two counts of first-degree kidnapping, two counts of armed robbery, and possession of a stolen firearm. Arrest records show he was also charged with trespassing, resisting arrest, and urinating in public. Investigators say Williams was recently released from prison on a string of robberies from 2015. Just days ago police investigated a murder at an apartment in uptown. The CMPD offered a piece of advice for anyone traveling throughout the city. Anytime you're anywhere walking around at night you should always be aware of your surroundings and that goes without saying, said Capt. Dave Johnson. Just being aware of the robbers and rapists in Charlotte won't help anybody. Being heavily armed and travelling in large groups might be more helpful.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Laura Re: Tape to CD Dear Webby, Thanks for your Humor letters -What a great way to start my day! Since you know so much about computers, I hope you have an answer for this question. I have some old cassette tapes (no longer available for purchase) that I'd like to use my computer to burn onto a CD. Is there an easy way to do this? Thanks, Laura  Dear Laura Yes, there sure is. Connect a cable with male 1/8" headphone plugs on each end from the headphone socket on your tape player to the microphone socket on your computer, then record it with any sound recording software. Most sound cards come with some basic sound recording software, and you can find lots more with google. Recording quality is the same. The difference between different recording software is usually in how easy or complicated it is to splice and edit. Almost all of them are either free or have a free trial period. Just try a bunch of them and find the one that suits you the best. Save the music in MP3 format, so that you can play it in Audio CD and MP4 players. Have FUN! DearWebby    An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, "I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had." The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then she said, "I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity." The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his hand on hers. The elderly woman then stated, "I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine." This time, the old man had a blank stare on his face and started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the living room, his wife asked, "Was it something I said, where are you going?" The old man looked at her and replied, " I'm going im de odder room do gep my teef!" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting Wood When Removing a Nail  Put an old plastic spatula under the head of the hammer when trying to remove a nail. It protects the wood and is easy to find in your toolbox. Tip provided by http://www.ThriftyFun.com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
A Penny For Your Thoughts 
 ____________________________________________________  An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about who'd had the tougher career. "I did 30 years in the Corps," the Marine declared proudly, "and fought in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood- soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade. "As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire. "Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razorgrass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a firefight, we'd fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we'd charge the enemy with bayonets!" "Ah," said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand, "just routine shore duty, huh?" ___________________________________________________  
 
 Standing above the clouds. 
 ___________________________________________________ Jason went to a psychiatrist "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor yelled: "Next!" You got to be nuts to go to a shrink! 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man, you'll never hit her from here!" 
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 Today, on July 31, in 1498 Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the Western Hemisphere, bumped into the island of Trinidad. 1790 The first U.S. patent was issued to Samuel Hopkins for his process for making potash and pearl ashes. The substance was used in fertilizer and gun powder. 1792 The cornerstone of the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia, PA, was laid. It was the first building to be used only as a U.S. government building. 1919 Germany's Weimar Constitution was adopted. 1928 MGM's Leo the lion roared for the first time. He introduced MGM's first talking picture, "White Shadows on the South Seas." 1932 Enzo Ferrari retired from racing. In 1950 he launched a series of cars under his name. 1945 Pierre Laval of France surrendered to Americans in Austria. 1948 U.S. President Truman helped dedicate New York International Airport (later John F. Kennedy International Airport) at Idlewild Field. 1955 Marilyn Bell of Toronto, Canada, at age 17, became the youngest person to swim the English Channel. 1959 The Euskadi Ta Askatasuna (ETA) was founded. The group is known for being an armed Basque nationalist and separatist organization. 1964 The American space probe Ranger 7 transmitted pictures of the moon's surface. 1971 Men rode in a vehicle on the moon for the first time in a lunar rover vehicle (LRV). 1982 Yugoslavia imposed a six-month freeze on prices. 1989 A pro-Iranian group in Lebanon released a videotape reportedly showing the hanged body of American hostage William R. Higgins. 1989 The Game Boy handheld video game device was released in the U.S. 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev signed the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty. 1995 The Walt Disney Company agreed to acquire Capital Cities/ABC in a $19 billion deal. 1999 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect crashed into the moon. It was a mission to detect frozen water on the moon's surface. The craft had been launched on January 6, 1998. 2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 million feature length films sold. 2017 Do smiled.

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