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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 18, in 1995, A network of caves were discovered near the town of Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained paintings and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 years old. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Woman charged after Asian student targeted in stabbing on Indiana bus _____________________________________________________ Q The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. --- Paula Poundstone Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. --- Norm Papernick Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. --- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945) Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ____________________________________________________ Three old men are discussing their sex lives. The Italian man says, "Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for 5 minutes at the end." The Frenchman boasts, "Last week when my wife and I had sex I rubbed her body all over with butter. We made passionate love and she screamed for 15 minutes." The old Jewish man says, "Well last week my wife and I had sex too. I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz (kosher chicken fat), we made love and she screamed for 6 hours. The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They replied, "What could you possibly have done to make your wife scream for 6 hours?" "I wiped my hands on the drapes." __________________________________________________ A Bonehead award goes to Jeffrey Thomas Anaya of Albuquerque, New Mexico who robbed a gas station, then ran to his getaway car which he had just left, and who was not able to find his car keys, according to police who arrived while he was still looking around for them. The keys are still missing, but where Jeffrey is residing now, they don't let the inmates have keys anyway. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Billie R. Davis, 56, Bloomington, Indiana, USA Woman charged after Asian student targeted in stabbing on Indiana bus A 56-year-old woman has been charged after an 18-year-old Indiana University student repeatedly was stabbed in the head on a public bus in an attack the school says was because the victim is Asian. The victim told investigators she was standing and waiting for the exit doors to open on a Bloomington Transit bus Wednesday afternoon when another passenger began striking her in the head, Bloomington police said in a release. Bus surveillance footage showed no interaction between the two women prior to the attack. A witness who also was riding the bus followed the woman's attacker and contacted police, who later arrested Billie R. Davis of Bloomington. Davis has been charged with attempted murder and aggravated battery, according to court records. The victim was treated at a hospital for multiple stab wounds. Her name was not released. Court documents show Davis said the victim was targeted because of her race, according to WNDU-TV. Citing court records, WRTV-TV reports that Davis told police she stabbed the woman multiple times in the head with a folding knife, because it "would be one less person to blow up our country." ___________________________________________________  ___________________________________________________ The local pastor noticed that Little Johnny hadn't been to Sunday school in a long time. He was not surprised that Johnny's parents had not been to church in a month of Sundays, but it was unusual for Johnny to miss Sunday school for so long. He went to Johnny's house and knocked on the door. Little Johnny answered the door, took one look at the pastor and called to his father, "Hey, Dad! That guy that collects money for the church is here!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  _______________________________________________ Thanks to Sharon Thought you might like this... ...for your humor letter. A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it closely. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in a young boy's voice, he answered: "I THINK IT'S ADAM'S UNDERWEAR!" ____________________________________________________ Bill: "Hey, Tex, how big is your farm?" Tex: "Let me put it this way. If I were to get in my truck at sunrise and kept driving untill sundown, I STILL wouldn't be to the other side of my spread!" Bill: "Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. I used to have a truck like that too once!" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Rena RE: Time in other countries Dear Webby I have friends all over the world and need to know what time they have. I know that there are more than 24 time zones because Newfoundland and North Korea have half hour differences from the next country. What have yu got? Rena Dear Rena Ha I got a treat for you! WorldClock Pick a town, not the country. Then it tells yu EVERYTHING, including when Daylight Saving time starts and ends, there, sunrise, sunset, moon rise, Moon set, and all kinds of tuff that the locals there not even know. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter." ____________________________________________________ Today, January 18 in 1778, English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." 1788, The first English settlers arrived in Australia's Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 1871, Wilhelm, King of Prussia from 1861, was proclaimed the first German Emperor. 1886, The Hockey Association was formed in England. This date is the birthday of modern field hockey. 1896, Roenten's x-ray machine was exhibited for the first time. 1911, For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. Pilot Eugene B. Ely flew onto the deck of the USS Pennsylvania in San Francisco harbor. 1919, The World War I Peace Congress opened in Versailles, France. 1939, Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded "Jeepers Creepers." 1943, During World War II, the Soviets announced that they had broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had began in September of 1941. 1943, U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced bread. Only whole loaves were sold during the ban until the end of World War II. 1948, "The Original Amateur Hour" debuted. The show was on the air for 22 years. 1950, The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed. 1957, The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight came to an end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled in mid-flight by huge aerial tankers. 1958, Willie O'Ree made his NHL debut with the Boston Bruins. He was the first black player to enter the league. 1964, The plans for the original World Trade Center in New York were unveiled to the public. 1967, Albert DeSalvo, who claimed to be the "Boston Strangler," was convicted in Cambridge, MA, of armed robbery, assault and sex offenses. He was sentenced to life in prison. Desalvo was killed in 1973 by a fellow inmate. 1972, Former Rhodesian prime minister Garfield Todd and his daughter were placed under house arrest for campaigning against Rhodesian independence. 1978, The European Court of Human Rights cleared the British government of torture but found it guilty of inhuman and degrading treatment of prisoners in Northern Ireland. 1990, In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion Barry was arrested for drug possession. He was later convicted of a misdemeanor. 1991, Eastern Airlines shut down after 62 years in business due to financial problems. 1993, The Martin Luther King Jr. holiday was observed in all 50 U.S. states for the first time. 1995, The "yahoo.com" domain was created. 1995, A network of caves were discovered near the town of Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained paintings and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 years old. 1997, Hutu militiamen killed three Spanish aid workers and three soldiers and seriously wound an American in a night attack in NW Rwanda. 2000, The Chinese web services company Baidu, Inc. was incorporated in Beijing. 2002, The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. 2012, Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest against proposed anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R. 3261) known as the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House. Many websites, including Reddit, Google, Facebook, Amazon and others, contended would make it challenging if not impossible for them to operate. 2022 Do smiled.
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