Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, May 30 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Woman, 53, ran brothel out of luxury flat and made prostitutes pose as massage therapists Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, May 30 in 1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour.  More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. --- Robert Benchley Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. --- Floyd Dell ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Hi Webby, I've worn red on Fridays since I first heard of it from you. I have nephews in Iraq. I support them in any way I can. Thanks for reminding others! Also thank you for all the tips and laughs. Unfortunately, we have a tendancy to take people for granted and don't verbalize our appreciation as often as we should. I do vote daily to show my appreciation! Thanks again, Jessie _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ The Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. __________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Chin Chi Chang, 53, Kirkcaldy, Fife, Scotland Britain  Woman, 53, ran brothel out of luxury flat and made prostitutes pose as massage therapists  Chin Chih Chang, 53, was acting as a madam at the flat in Kirkcaldy, Fife, Scotland, where prostitutes in their '20s and 30s' operated. She had denied the charge but was found guilty at Kirkcaldy sheriff court after male clients testified they had visited the brothel and paid for sex. Alasdair McIntosh, 56, revealed he got a 'Brucie bonus' from an Asian escort after initially paying for a 100 massage. Police found him butt naked and on top of a woman when they raided the property at Lord Gambier Wharf on May 31 last year, the trial heard. PC Stephanie McLean said Mr McIntosh was aroused, adding: 'I observed his buttocks in the air with the female's legs wrapped around him. 'I told him, get off and get up . The female tried to cover herself up. She was wearing -stockings and a small top. 'Due to his nakedness, I told him to cover himself up, but he stood there with a grin on his face as if he wasn't bothered by the scenario. He walked with no shame. He sort of strutted.' The court erupted in laughter when her colleague PC Kevin Daglish said Mr McIntosh was acting 'cocky', the Scottish Daily Record reported. Officers also found Andrew Wilson, 50, in another room. He had all his clothes on at the time and claimed he was there to get treatment on a sciatic nerve. Another man said women kept 'condoms, potions, lotions and creams' in the flat. arrive next week Chang, from Hove, Sussex, had claimed through an interpreter the women were massage therapists but was still convicted by a jury. The mum-of-one even advertised 'Chinese massages' on website Gumtree. The court heard she transferred around 30,000 to an account in her home country of Taiwan and she has now been given a confiscation order to try and recoup the illicit funds. Chang moved to England four years ago after marrying a British man. Sheriff Jamie Gilchrist QC granted her bail as he considers reports before sentencing her. 
 Tech Support Pits From: Ross Re: Forgot MailWasher  Dear Webby You Forgot to Mention MAILWASHER. Ross  Dear Ross Yes, I did. Whenever I mention making filters, I automatically think of MailWasher, because I have used it for so long. Actually, I was one of the original testers in the 90s. Making filters with MailWasher is like a game. Whenever you spot a pattern, something the spammers use again and again, click on the little arrows on the right top to get the tools, hit FILTERS, ADD, and play for a minute. You can make filters dead simple like just the address of your MIL, or you can craft a complicated filter that has a few "But not if" and all kinds of fancy rules, that you simply pull down from the selector. It sounds difficult just reading about it, but once you actually play with it, you see that it is really simple and quickly turns into a fun game to outsmart the spammers. Have FUN DearWebby    
 Thanks to MaryAnn for this story: Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the trench they had dug in the middle of the road. The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way. They were surprised, however, to see the same woman coming toward them from town a couple of hours later. "Oh," she said distractedly as she again pulled up next to the trench crew. "Is it closed in this direction too?" 
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 What is the one thing that all women at singles bars have in common? They're all married and they all have a white, untanned line on their ring finger. . 
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 George, a career Army officer I once met, was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop. The flight was pretty rough, and, after a while, George called off the jump because of high winds. As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the recruits got airsick. "How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn't handle the smooth landing?" asked George. "Well, Sir," one trainee explained, "we've always jumped out of planes. We've never actually landed before." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No Till Veggies Here's what my Daddy did when he planted potatoes. He dug a lil furrow and planted potatoes and covered them ever so lightly with dirt. Then he covered that with a little hay. Then as the plants grew, he covered with more hay. He kept doing that until plants were waist high. Then when potaoes were ready to harvest, he would just turn back the hay and here were the potaoes. No digging.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  There is an even easier way: Toss your cut potatoes, one eye per piece, onto the dirt, cover them with an old bed sheet, and water them. When the plants start to raise the sheet, poke a hole with a knife for each, so that they can wiggle through. The rest of the season just water them normally. From mid summer on you can reach under the sheet and steal clean and firm potatoes. Yukon Gold style potatoes work fine with that method. In the fall let the first frost kill the greenery, cut the stalks with a machete, pull the sheet with the cut stalks, rake and shovel the potatoes into gunny sacks. They are clean. Have FUN! DearWebby  ____________________________________________________  An Austin, Texas, Emergency Medical Technician answered a call at the home of an elderly woman whose sister had collapsed. As they were placing her in the ambulance, the lady wailed, "Oh, lawdy, lawdy. I know what's the matter with her. She done got the same thing what killed her brother. It's a heretical disease. It's the Smiling Mighty Jesus!" When the technician got the sister to the county hospital, she looked up the brother's medical records to find that he had died of -- spinal meningitis.  
 Beautiful desert wild flowers.
 ___________________________________________________ In a hat shop a salesgirl gushed, "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger." "Then I don't want it," retorted the customer. "I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ A man went to see his eye doctor, who told him he had a case of myopera and that he and would have to wear contract lenses. That's a lot better than his friend, who had had a cadillac removed. Still, when he worked at his computer, he would have to watch out for harbor tunnel syndrome. He worried that his authoritis of the joints might be a signal of Old Timer's disease and fretted that a genital heart defect was causing trouble with his duodemon. ____________________________________________________ 
 Today, May 30 in 1416 Jerome of Prague was burned as a heretic by the Church. 1431 Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in Rouen, France, at the age of 19. 1539 Hernando de Soto, the Spanish explorer, landed in Florida with 600 soldiers to search for gold. 1783 The first daily newspaper was published in the U.S. by Benjamin Towner called "The Pennsylvania Evening Post" 1814 The First Treaty of Paris was declared, which returned France to its 1792 borders. 1848 W.G. Young patented the ice cream freezer. 1868 Memorial Day was observed widely for the first time in the U.S. 1879 William Vanderbilt renamed New York City's Gilmore's Garden to Madison Square Garden. 1883 Twelve people were trampled to death in New York City in a stampede when a rumor that the Brooklyn Bridge was in danger of collapsing occurred. 1896 The first automobile accident occurred in New York City. 1903 In Riverdale, NY, the first American motorcycle hill climb was held. 1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour. 1912 The U.S. Marines were sent to Nicaragua to protect American interests. 1913 The First Balkan War ended. 1921 The U.S. Navy transferred the Teapot Dome oil reserves to the Department of the Interior. 1933 Sally Rand introduced her exotic and erotic fan dance to audiences at Chicago's Century of Progress Exposition. 1943 American forces secured the Aleutian island of Attu from the Japanese during World War II. 1958 Unidentified soldiers killed in World War II and the Korean conflicts were buried at Arlington National Cemetery. 1967 Daredevil Evel Knievel jumped 16 automobiles in a row in a motorcycle stunt at Ascot Speedway in Gardena, CA. 1967 The state of Biafra seceded from Nigeria and Civil war erupted. 1971 Mariner 9, the American deep space probe blasted off on a journey to Mars. 1981 In Chittagong, Bangladesh, President Ziaur Rahman was assassinated. 1982 Spain became the 16th NATO member. Spain was the first country to enter the Western alliance since West Germany in 1955. 1983 Peru's President Fernando Belaunde Terry declared a state of emergency and suspended civil rights after bombings by leftist rebels. 1989 The "Goddess of Democracy" statue (33 feet height) was erected in Tiananmen Square by student demonstrators. 1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and the former Sarah Ferguson were granted an uncontested decree ending their 10-year marriage. 1997 Jesse K. Timmendequas was convicted in Trenton, NJ, of raping and strangling a 7-year-old neighbor, Megan Kanka. The 1994 murder inspired "Megan's Law," requiring that communities be notified when sex offenders move in. 1998 A powerful earthquake hit northern Afghanistan killing up to 5,000. 2002 In New York, a ceremony was held to officially mark the end of the clean up from the World Trade Center terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. 2012 New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced the Portion Cap Rule. The proposed amendment to the city health code would have required that food service establishments limit the size of sugary beverages to 16 ounces. On June 26, 2014, the New York Court of Appeals ruled that the New York City Board of Health had exceeded the scope of its regulatory authority. 2018 Do smiled. 
 
 

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