--- Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 28 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: N.H. man arrested twice in one day faces drug, DUI charges Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 28 in 2010 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have the right to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' --- Jeff Foxworthy Imagination is the highest kite one can fly. --- Lauren Bacall ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This country is so full of opportunity. Where else can a woman hire another woman to do her housework, so that she can volunteer at the Day Care Center where the cleaning woman leaves her child? _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Royal Gorge Bridge, Colorado. 1929 _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back..."Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Benjamin Benoit, 33, Boscawen, New Hampshire N.H. man arrested twice in one day faces drug, DUI charges Police in Concord and Bow said they arrested the same man hours apart on charges of driving under the influence. Benjamin Benoit, 33, of Boscawen, was arrested Thursday afternoon after police received a report of a person at a Bow gas station falling asleep in the driver's seat of a car. Benoit was arrested again Friday morning in Concord after another report was made about a person passed out in a vehicle at a gas station. Concord police said the car Benoit was in was stolen from the owner's place of employment in Pembroke. Benoit is facing multiple charges, including driving under the influence, possession of a controlled substance and possession of stolen property. After each arrest, Benoit was released on personal recognizance bail. He is scheduled to appear in Merrimack County Superior Court on the Bow charges on July 5 and on the Concord charges on July 12. Tech Support Pits From: Bobbie Re: Defrag never finishes Dear Webby My computer is getting really slow, so a friend suggested that I defrag it. I tried that, but the Windows defrag never finishes. It just keeps re-starting. What am I doing wrong? Bobbie Dear Bobbie There are countless defraggers available on the net. 99% of them are crap. Even the piriform defraggler, that I have recommended in the past, has gone bad. According to Moe, who tests and compares them as his mission, Glarysoft's disk-speedup is currently the best. Just make 100% sure that you don't let their other utilities slither in during the install! The rest of their stuff is bad news, as I found out myself a few years ago. Just do the Disk- Speedup, and don't touch the rest. You can get it here: https://www.glarysoft.com/disk-speedup/ Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. While digging a shaft into the German homeland, German scientists discovered small pieces of copper at 50 meters. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. The British ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. At a depth of 100 meters, they discovered small pieces of glass. Soon the British announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber net. Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100, and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. The Israelis concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
After driving all night, a man arrived in a small town where he decided to stop in the local park and catch some sleep. Just as he dozed off, there was a knock on the window. Outside the car, was a jogger. "Excuse me, can you give me the time?" the jogger inquired. "Groggily, the man replied, "It's 6:27." The man closed his eyes and just as he dozed off there was another knock on the window. There stood another jogger who said, "I'm sorry to disturb you. Do you have the time?" Struggling to keep up his spirits he replied, "It's 6:34." The man rolled up the window but realizing that this could go on indefinitely, he took paper and pen and created a sign which read: "I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME." He stuck the sign in the window, closed his eyes, and was barely asleep when there came yet another tap on the window. The man looked and sure enough, there was another jogger. He disgustedly rolled down the window and said, "Yeah, what is it?" The jogger replied, "It's 6:42." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uneven Cake Layers Sometimes you bake a cake layer that comes out just a little bit lopsided. Level the layer with a serrated knife. Then apply a coat of frosting to the rough edge leftover from the cut. Let the frosting dry before frosting the rest of the cake. A serrated knife sounds rather barbaric to me! Cut some leftover shelving or other wood with the same thickness as a layer of the cake to just fit into your cake pans and sand and varnish it nicely, because some day it will become a heirloom. After you dump the cake, put the wood spacer in and the cake on top of that. Then use the edge of the cake pan as a guide to saw it into layers with dental floss. Remove the cake and put the top layer onto the spacer and trim the top to be precisely the same as the bottom. You will get the same laser smooth cut that the professionals get (who use that same old trick). If you don't have any scrap wood, a book or a stack of junk mail in a ziplock bag works fine too. If you do a lot of cakes in a row, tie the ends of the dental floss to wooden spoons or clothes pegs so that you don't cut your hands. Have FUN! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Get lost in these real world fairy-tale landscapes. |
___________________________________________________ Two men were sitting in a doctors office. "What are you here for?" asked one. "Circumcision," came the reply. "That's rough! I had one of those the day after I was born," the first man commented. "Afterward, I couldn't walk for a year." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn't they just throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't have an air conditioner." ____________________________________________________ | Today, June 28 in 1635 The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in the Caribbean. 1675 Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes. 1709 The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the Battle of Poltava. 1776 American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on Charleston, SC. 1778 Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an American artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during the Battle of Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's place at his gun after he was overcome with heat. 1894 The U.S. Congress made Labor Day a U.S. national holiday. 1902 The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it authorized a canal to be built across the isthmus of Panama. 1911 Samuel J. Battle became the first African-American policeman in New York City. 1914 Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the Austro- Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along with his wife, Duchess Sophie. England used that as the start of WWI. 1919 The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War I exactly five years after it began. The treaty also established the League of Nations. 1921 A coal strike in Great Britain was settled after three months. 1930 More than 1,000 communists were routed during an assault on the British consulate in London. 1939 Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic passenger service. 1938 The U.S. Congress created the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) to insure construction loans. 1942 German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet oil fields in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad. 1945 U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of Japanese resistance in the Philippines. 1949 The last U.S. combat troops were called home from Korea, leaving only 500 advisers. 1950 North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea. 1951 "Amos 'n' Andy" moved to CBS-TV from radio. 1954 French troops began to pull out of Vietnam's Tonkin Province. 1960 In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. 1964 Malcolm X founded the Organization for Afro American Unity to seek independence for blacks in the Western Hemisphere. 1965 The first commercial satellite began communications service. It was Early Bird (Intelsat I). 1967 Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the June 1967 war. 1971 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion conviction of Muhammad Ali. 1972 U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees would be sent to Vietnam. 1976 The first women entered the U.S. Air Force Academy. 1978 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at the University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke. Bakke, a white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse racial discrimination. 1996 The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year-old men- only policy at the South Carolina military school. 1997 Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's ear after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight title fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1998 Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to lease, U.S. aircraft to bring military force up to NATO standards. 1998 The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita banana company and retracted their stories that questioned company's business practices. They also agreed to pay more than $10 million to settle legal claims. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court declared that a Nebraska law that outlawed "partial birth abortions" was unconstitutional. About 30 U.S. states had similar laws at the time of the ruling. 2000 Darva Conger announced that she had done a layout for Playboy magazine. Conger had married Rick Rockwell on Fox-TV's "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire." 2000 The European Commission announced that they had blocked the planned merger between the U.S. companies WorldCom Inc. and Sprint due to competition concerns. 2000 Six-year-old Eli n Gonz lez returned to Cuba from the U.S. with his father. The child had been the center of an international custody dispute. 2001 Slobodan Milosevic was taken into custody and was handed over to the U.N. war crimes tribunal in The Hague, Netherlands. The indictment charged Milosevic and four other senior officials, with crimes against humanity and violations of the laws and customs of war in Kosovo. 2001 The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit set aside an order that would break up Microsoft for antitrust violations. However, the judges did agree that the company was in violation of antitrust laws. 2004 The U.S. turned over official sovereignty to Iraq's interim leadership. The event took place two days earlier than previously announced to thwart insurgents' attempts at undermining the transfer. 2004 The U.S. resumed diplomatic ties with Libya after a 24-year break. 2004 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that enemy combatants could challenge their detention in U.S. Courts. 2005 The final design for the "Freedom Tower" (One World Trade Center) was formally unveiled. 2007 The American bald eagle was removed from the endangered species list. 2010 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have the right to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live. 2018 Do smiled. |
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