Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 24 Today's Bonehead Award:  Port Richey mayor shot at deputies serving warrant for illegal medical practice  ______________________________________________________ Today, February 23 in 1903 In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the U.S. for a naval base. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. --- Mahatma Gandhi ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other in an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws." The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith." The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?" The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith." The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it? _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this: Washing Clothes Recipe imagine having a recipe for this ! ! ! Yyears ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe: this is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - with spelling errors and all. Washing Clothes build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water. sort things, make 3 piles 1 pile white, 1 pile colored, 1 pile work britches and rags to make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water. take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored... don't boil, just wrench and starch. take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch. hang old rags on fence. spread tea towels on grass. pore wrench water in flower bed. scrub porch with hot soapy water. turn tubs upside down. go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings. ================================== paste this over your washer and dryer. next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, kiss that washing machine and dryer, and give thanks. first thing each morning you should run and hug your washer and dryer, also your toilet ---those two-holers used to get mighty cold! for you non-southerners -wrench means rinse. :) ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Dave Toliver, East St Louis Illinois  Port Richey mayor shot at deputies serving warrant for illegal medical practice  The mayor of Port Richey, Florida has been arrested after deputies say he fired shots at law enforcement officers who were trying to serve a search warrant at his home Thursday. Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco compared the alleged crimes of the 68-year-old mayor, Dale Glen Massad, with those of shamed former D.C. mayor Marion Barry. Now, county and state officials are investigating the shooting as well as a possible illegal medical practice Massad was allegedly running from his Port Richey home. It started early Thursday morning when Pasco County Sheriff's Office SWAT officers showed up at the home, located at 8221 Hayward Lane. They were there to serve a warrant related to allegations Massad was still practicing medicine despite having his medical license revoked in 1992, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. FDLE said One medical procedure he allegedly performed sent the patient to the hospital. When SWAT arrived, the sheriff's office said they announced their presence and tried to enter. That's when bullets flew toward the SWAT members. Deputies said they did not return fire. There were no injuries and Massad was taken into custody. Sheriff Nocco said during a press conference Thursday that Massad may face multiple charges of attempted homicide against law enforcement officials. "He's lucky he's not dead," Nocco said. "Every day those members put their lives on the line. They're lucky to go home." Nocco said there is a suspicion that Massad was under the influence of drugs at the time of the shooting and made comments to officers about not going back to jail. "When somebody says 'I'm not going back to jail' that either means it's going to be a shootout, they're either going to flee from us somehow...or possibly suicide by cop," Nocco said. "He's the one who made the decision to shoot [at] us. He's the one who is going to jail." It's not the first time Massad was arrested. In August 2018, Massad was arrested on a domestic battery charge.  
 From: Richi Re: Found browser that works  Hi webby ,i finally came accross a broswer that works, after d/l and uninstalling various ones,i d/l opera browser and went to see if it would open up links when i clicked on them and sure enough this one did.its so weird how the google browser was acting like that maybe there was a glitch in it but it was strange it was doing that after using it for so long..i added my bookmarks to it. do you think it would be okay to uninstall the other one?tyvm for all of your help.its gr8tly appreciated Richi  Dear Richi That is why I suggested UNinstalling your browsers and trying that list of browsers, in the hope, that your resident hijacker did not have power over at least one of the browsers. Opera is actually made for Mac machines, but it works well enough on Windows. Opera has much better font rendering and is the preferred browser for reading large text documents. Easist on the eyes! So, now you know that the problem is due to a resident hijacker. There are lots of programs on the net for getting rid of hijackers, most of them free. Pick one that you like, and run it to clean up your machine. Hijackers are NOT viruses, because they don't propagate on their own. You get them as payload on unsavory stuff. Run Malwarebytes! It may clean that Hijacker, even though it is not a virus. Try it anyway. You probably have other bad shit on the machine too. A popular anti Hijacker program is HijackThis! It is a bit tedious to run, but very thorough. You get it at https://sourceforge.net/projects/hjt/ If you don't like it, there are plenty of other anti-Hijackers on the net. The easiest is checking browser extensions and dumping any, that you don't absolutely need. Have Fun! DearWebby  
  Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from Louisiana arrived ....and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.' With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!' As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... and squealed... 'YES! YES! I WON ! I WON !' She hugged each of the dealers.. and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?' The other answered, 'I don't know... I thought you were watching.' Moral of this story --- Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men ..... are men. 
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 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK.... 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying. 10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks! 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...? 24. Do I look like a people person? 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. 39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Keeping Batteries Fresh To prevent batteries from wearing down if a flashlight is accidentally nudged on while you're traveling, put the flashlight batteries in backwards or don't put them in the flashlight at all until needed.  Thriftyfun.com  Instead of putting batteries in backwards, just put a bit of masking tape over the end of one battery. Leave the tape sticking out as a handle to extract the "locked" battery. Keep in mind that the jokers at Security like turning devices on to see if they are real, but often forget to turn them off again. You have all heard of razors and vibrators humming and the owner having to open the suitcase and turn them off, while everybody else was chuckling or laughing. It happened to my nephew too. Have FUN! DearWebby   ____________________________________________________   
  
 
The Shirk Report 
 ___________________________________________________ First golfer, Bill: "What was your score?" Bob: "Seventy-two." Bill: "That's not too bad at all!" Bob: "Thanks! I hope I'll do better on the second hole." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: A young man was applying for a job with a big company. "I'm sorry," said the personnel manager, "but the firm is over staffed. We have more employees now than we really need." "That's all right," replied the young man, undiscouraged. "The work I do is never noticed anyway." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Thanks to Cookie for sending this picture:  Magic Tap in Cadiz, Spain I was about 6 years old when I saw a magic tap for my first time. It was at some trade show and a brewery used it as an attention getting gag. The man at the booth delighted in being sadistic and not telling me how it worked. The Magic Tap was in a big aquarium style glass showcase, that had an electrical cord going to it. Since I was becoming a pest with my insistent questioning, dad dragged me on to the other displays. Well, a while later I circled back, checked where that electrical cord went. It ws a long extension cord that snaked along and behind quite a few booths all the way to the end wall. Naturally I unplugged it. The Magic Tap flow stopped and revealed a pipe that had been hidden by the flow. Simple. Because I was mad at the bozo who had refused to tell me, I left the cord unplugged and scurried away. ___________________________________________________  
 Today February 24 in 1839 Mr. William S. Otis received a patent for the steam shovel. 1903 In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the U.S. for a naval base. 1925 A thermit bomb was used for the first time. It was used to break up a 250,000-ton ice jam that had clogged the St. Lawrence River near Waddington, NY. 1938 The first nylon bristle toothbrush was made. It was the first time that nylon yarn had been used commercially. 1942 The U.S. Government stopped shipments of all 12-gauge shotguns for sporting use for the wartime effort. 1945 During World War II, the Philippine capital of Manilla, was liberated by U.S. soldiers. 1946 Juan Peron was elected president of Argentina. 1956 The city of Cleveland invoked a 1931 law that barred people under the age of 18 from dancing in public without an adult guardian. 1980 NBC premiered the TV movie "Harper Valley P.T.A." 1981 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Britain's Prince Charles to Lady Diana Spencer. 1983 A U.S.congressional commission released a report that condemned the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II. 1987 An exploding supernova was discovered in the Large Magellanic Cloud galaxy. 1988 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a $200,000 award to Rev. Jerry Falwell that had been won against "Hustler" magazine. The ruling expanded legal protections for parody and satire. 1989 Iran's Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini sentenced Salman Rushdie to death for his novel "The Satanic Verses". A bounty of one to three-million-dollars was also put on Rushidie's head. 1989 A United Airlines 747 jet rips open in flight killing 9 people. The flight was from Honolulu to New Zealand. 1997 In the U.S. the Food and Drug Administration named six brands of birth control as safe and effective "morning-after" pills for preventing pregnancy. 1999 In southeast China, a domestic airliner crashed killing all 64 passengers. 2007 The Virginia General Assembly passed a resolution expressing "profound regret" for the state's role in slavery. 2008 Cuba's parliament named Raul Castro president. His brother Fidel had ruled for nearly 50 years. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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