Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, November 24 Thank you, N! ____________________________________________________ Today, November 24 in  1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They promptly shelved it and used Microsoft Internet Explorer instead. We have never forgiven them for that! More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Illinois drunk driver had wacky explanation about why he reeked of alcohol  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) A rumor has it that many rumors are just rumors. --- Socratex _______________________________________________ A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the blazes was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!" I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce, you will have to refill your credit cards yourself. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies. ________________________________________________` >From Jeanne   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Trevor Smith, 21, Galesburg, Illinois  Illinois drunk driver had wacky explanation about why he reeked of alcohol  After driving his car into a ditch, an Illinois man who reeked of booze explained to police that the reason they smelled alcohol on his breath was because he had been making out with his girlfriend this evening and she had been drinking. As detailed in a Peoria County Sheriff's Office report, Trevor Smith drove a Dodge Charger off the road early Saturday evening in a single-vehicle accident. Deputies responding to the crash scene noted that Smith, who turns 21 tomorrow, appeared intoxicated. Additionally, they reported detecting the odor of burnt marijuana in the vehicle, and discovered an open bottle of vodka in the car. Smith, who twice declined to provide a breath sample and denied having consumed alcohol, was arrested for DUI after failing a series of field sobriety tests. Pictured above, Smith told deputies the reason he smelled like alcohol was that he had been making out with his girlfriend this evening and she had been drinking. He added, for some unknown reason, that he made love to his girlfriend because 'We make love, we're all adults here.' Though entirely plausible, Smith's post-arrest odor transference explanation did not prompt deputies to void criminal charges. Smith, records show, had been arrested a week earlier, also for DUI (he was nabbed on November 11 by Illinois State Police officers). Smith, who lives in Galesburg, a city 45 miles from Peoria, is free on bond in both misdemeanor cases. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Cyn Re: Set Spybot so it won't auto-start  Dear Webby, Do you know how to set SpyBot so that it does **NOT** start when you boot up your computer?? Cyn  Dear Cyn Use the Advanced mode link. You have two, the Easy and the Advanced. The Advanced has the tools in the left side bar. If necessary, download an update from http://www.safer-networking.org/index.php?lang=en&page=start Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.' 
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 The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch. "Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner." The lady exclaimed... "But, .. I didn't send for a piano tuner." The man replied, "I know you didn't, but your neighbors did." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com  Thriftyfun.com Stretching Meat  Save money on meatloaf by mixing the ground beef with 50% rice. Stretch your enchilada filling by mixing your ground beef with 50% pinto or black beans. Stretch your taco meat by mixing it with 50% potatoes chopped into tiny pieces. By Catherine  You can really stretch your creativity with meatloaf! Croutons and an egg can be mixed in to give it extra strength and carry different "surprises" without cracking apart. The surprises can be anything from boiled eggs to pickles, a couple of carrots for eyes and strips of green pepper for teeth make a cute face when sliced. A single strip of bacon can also be used for the teeth. You don't have to knead or roll the loaf, you can build it up in layers. To crank up the flavor, use lots of onion, cut fine and slowly sauteed to hazelnut brown. Make sure you don't get any black edges, otherwise they don't multiply the flavors. Creative meatloaf can also be used for sandwich meat or frozen whole or sliced for quickly thawing a fast meal. Remember to make up a fancy name for each of your different meatloaf creations! You can also name them after the stations of an old railroad. Just like a fancy frame makes a huge difference for a painting, so does a name for a recipe. Have FUN! DearWebby  Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Big Dogs With Small Beds 
 ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert! Mrs. O'Malley arrived in Boston from Ireland, and in no time at all her bean soup made her the talk of New England society. At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron approached Mrs. O'Malley and said, "My dear girl, what is the secret of your soup?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "The secret o' me soup is that I use but two-hundred thirty-nine beans to make it." The woman asked, "Why only two-hundred thirty-nine?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "Because one more would make it too farty." ___________________________________________________ My friend George, an ex-Marine aviator, wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane, so we took off one cloudy Sunday afternoon for a ride. George was putting the plane through its paces when I noticed that a storm front had moved directly between us and the airport. We had no choice but to go through it. Shortly we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightning flashing all around us and thunder booming. After one particularly close lightning strike, we lost the radio and most of the instrumentation. As we're being buffeted about and I'm hanging on for dear life, I hear George say, "Uh-oh." Fearing the worst, I asked, "What's wrong now?" "I've got the hiccups," George replies. "Do something to scare me." ___________________________________________________ Tom had missed six days of work in the last few weeks. Finally, his good-natured boss was compelled to call Tom into her office. "It has not escaped my attention," she pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right," exclaimed Tom. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking, do you?" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, November 24 in 1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were both 14 years old. 1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his theory of evolution through the process of natural selection. Some people still disagree with it. 1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain began in Tennessee. 1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated in the U.S.. Some people still fight that too. 1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed fencing material. 1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric self- starter for an automobile. 1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Over the next three years the population dropped from 350,000 to 70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to concentration camps. 1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist influence in their industry. 1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey Oswald live on national television. 1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing an end to the second manned mission to the moon. 1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted from a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with $200,000 in ransom. He has never been found. 1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six Israeli prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 Palestinians and Lebanese held by the Israelis. 1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian jetliner. 60 people died in the raid. 1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- and medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower treaty to eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned after more than a week of protests against its policies. 1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141 people. 1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the Brady handgun control bill. 1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) were convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of Liverpool, England. They were both sentenced to "indefinite detention." 1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a constitutional amendment legalizing divorce. 1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event to be held in Japan. 1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They promptly shelved it and used Microsoft Internet Explorer instead. Annoyed Millions of us! 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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