Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 22 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 22, in 1630, Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 2 mothers charged with extreme child neglect ___________________________________________________ Laughter is the closest distance between two people. --- Victor Borge (1909 - 2000) Laugh, and the world laughs with you, snore, and you sleep alone. --- Anthony Burgess "A man is only as old as the woman he feels." --- Groucho Marx ___________________________________________________ A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband. The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "Oy vey! I said for you to marry a Rich Doctor! A Rich Doctor!" ___________________________________________________ Do's mother asked, "Why did you get such a low grade on that test?" "Because of an absence," Do replied. "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" she questioned. Do replied, "No, but the kid who normally sits next to me was." ____________________________________________________   Night Blooming Cereus-QueenOfTheNight ____________________________________________________ Morris goes to visit his cardiologist in follow up after his life threatening heart attack. The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to resume his active sex life as soon as he could climb three flights of stairs without becoming winded. Morris listens attentively and then says,"I haven't been able to walk 3 flights of stairs without getting winded since high school. Guess I'll have to stick to women who live on the ground floor." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Riccy Padilla-Hernandez, 28, Yures Molina, 34 Houston, Texas, USA  2 mothers charged with extreme child neglect  Mothers Riccy Padilla-Hernandez, 28, and her roommate, 34- year-old Yures Molina, are both charged with endangering a child after their six kids were found living in dangerous, deplorable conditions, according to investigators. Police say the case began when a maintenance worker spotted Padilla-Hernandezs 2-year-old daughter, barefoot and filthy, by the pool alone and called 911. When officers arrived, the girls 7-year-old brother led them to an apartment where four other children were found. The details of the report revealed more of the grim reality the children endured. Molinas 1-year-old son was found inside of a crib in the home. According to investigators, the infant was so deprived of food that he resorted to eating his own feces. Her 9-year-old was reportedly covered in filth and infested with lice. Authorities say one of Padilla-Hernandezs children has special needs and is unable to care for himself. Molina was not present when police were at the apartment complex, but while officers were still on the scene, Padilla-Hernandez returned. She claimed she was out doing her taxes when she left the residence. All six children have been placed in the custody of Childrens Protective Services. The bond for both mothers was set at $15,000 each. As of Friday, they had both posted bond.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Candy Re: Typo Correction Dear Webby Is there a program that automtically corrects your typing? Thanks Candy  Dear Candy There are a few. I have used  AsUtype Seems to work OK. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Doc: "George, you're a 71-year-old man and may have lost interest in sex. There is nothing that I as your doctor can do to help you." George: "Nope, but your nurse sure could!" 
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 _____________________________________________  There was an elderly southern widow who lived in a large mansion. She was feeling generous when it came towards Easter, so she called up the local military base, and asked to speak with the lieutenant. "Please send up four nice young men to eat dinner here on Easter, but please, don't send any Jews. Please, no Jews." The lieutenant replied, "No problem ma'am, and I am sure I speak for the army when I say we all appreciate your kindness." Well, Easter rolled around, and the widow went to answer the door when it rang. She was surprised to see four of the blackest boys that anyone had ever seen, especially in the South. "But... But... There must be some mistake," she stammered. One of them replied, "No ma'am, lieutenant Morris Goldstein doesn't make mistakes." ______________________________________________ A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and how he should repent at once, he asked if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the heart attack. The patient responded, "Don't be ridiculous, the attack had only lasted 6 hours." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A well worn dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty arrived at the bureau of Engraving and Printing to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to the shredder they struck up a conversation. The twenty reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life." the twenty proclaimed. "I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise from Miami." "Wow!" said the single, "you really have gotten around." "So tell me", says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian Church, the Lutheran Church, the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church, Assembly of God Church, the Brethren Church, the United Church of Christ, ...." Then the twenty says, "What's a church?" ___________________________________________________  
 Today, February 22, in 1630, Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 1784, "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New York City for the Far East. 1819, Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 1855, The U.S. Congress voted to appropriate $200,000 for continuance of the work on the Washington Monument. The next morning the resolution was tabled and it would be 21 years before the Congress would vote on funds again. Work was continued by the Know-Nothing Party in charge of the project. 1859, U.S. President Buchanan approved the Act of February 22, 1859, which incorporated the Washington National Monument Society "for the purpose of completing the erection now in progress of a great National Monument to the memory of Washington at the seat of the Federal Government." 1860, Organized baseballs first game was played in San Francisco, CA. 1865, In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution that abolished slavery. 1879, In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 5 and 10-cent store. 1885, The Washington Monument was officially dedicated in Washington, DC. It opened to the public in 1889. 1920, The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit opened in Emeryville, CA. 1923, The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los Angeles, CA. It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 1924, U.S. President Calvin Coolidge delivered the first presidential radio broadcast from the White House. 1954, ABC radios popular "Breakfast Club" program was simulcast on TV for the first time. 1969, Barbara Jo Rubin became the first woman to win a U.S. thoroughbred horse race. 1973, The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish liaison offices. 1984, The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with an increase in population of 19.2 percent. 1994, The U.S. Justice Department charged Aldrich Ames and his wife with selling national secrets to the Soviet Union. Ames was later convicted to life in prison. Ames' wife received a 5-year prison term. 1997, Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. 2002, In the Philippines, An MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed into the ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 2010, A copy of "Action Comics #1" sold at auction for $1 million. The comic featured the introduction of Superman. 2010, Walmart announced it was acquiring the video streaming company Vudu, Inc. 2021 Do smiled. 

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