Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, April 17 Thank you, Richard !! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Convicted Murderer of Two Babies Gets the Full California Treatment: A Taxpayer-Funded Sex Change Followed by Transfer to Women's Prison ___________________________________________________ Today, April 17 in 1964 The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model. ____________________________________________________ Seeing ourselves as others would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. --- Franklin P. Jones ____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Beverly for bringing back this Classic: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids) 1. You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all the way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.. -- Camille, age 10 3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure?) - On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - - Martin, age 10 6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? -When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 (Love her) -The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7 -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8 7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child) 8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 And the #1 Favorite is....... 9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 9 ____________________________________________________ A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beat red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh..I..." She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray." ____________________________________________________ Ken Pemberton My coral cactus is a nice pink colour this year instead of the normal silver green. ____________________________________________________ Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious." "No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been doing this for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing." "True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jessica Hann, but was born Jason Michael Hann, 46, Central California Womens Facility located in Chowchilla, California, USA Convicted Murderer of Two Babies Gets the Full California Treatment: A Taxpayer-Funded Sex Change Followed by Transfer to Women's Prison In a story that appears as though it could have been pulled from a sick dystopian Hollywood movie or TV series, a convicted child murderer has had a sex change surgery at the expense of taxpayers. That man, like one of the celebrated characters on the Netflix prison series Orange Is the New Black, now resides alongside actual women in a facility for female convicts after identifying a transgender woman. A man who goes by Jessica Hann, but was born Jason Michael Hann, was previously sentenced to death for the separate murders of his infant son and toddler daughter two decades ago. Both children were murdered and their bodies were shuffled around the country before they were ultimately discarded in storage units. In a 2014 story reporting on Hanns death sentence, the Desert Sun reported: Jason Michael Hann, 39, admitted to killing two of his children weeks after they were born, according to trial documents. The infants bodies were discovered 1,500 miles apart from each other in separate storage units and in advanced stages of decomposition. Hann seemed emotionless as Riverside Superior Court Judge James Hawkins denied a motion from the defense to lower the death penalty to life without parole, upholding the jurys original recommendation, the Sun added. Hann is an inmate in Californias prison system, so despite a death sentence, you knew he would go on drawing in air every day at the expense of already overburdened taxpayers. According to The Daily Caller, Hann is now the recipient of some real California justice. The depraved killer of his own children has been given cosmetic surgeries which make him look feminine and he is now serving his sentence at a womens prison. According to the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation inmate website, Hann is at the Central California Womens Facility located in Chowchilla. KESQ-TV, citing a metamorphosis in Hanns mugshots, initially reported it confirmed the child killers so-called gender- affirming surgery in February of 2019, although CDCR Health Care Communications Chief Liz Gransee refused to comment on Hanns case specifically. The Daily Caller confirmed through a CDCR official this past week that Hann was sent to the womens prison in February of 2020. Hanns children, Jason and Montana, are dead while the man who killed them is serving his time and playing dress-up near their mother, a woman named Krissy Lynn Werntz, at the Central California Womens Facility. Werntz was given a life sentence with the possibility of parole after she was found guilty of assisting Hann with killing the children. California, which is somewhat of an insane asylum for politicians the states voters continue to elect, has ensured that a man who murdered his own children is receiving the best care possible. That care included an expensive cosmetic surgery that Democrats just paid for on printed money in the blue state bailout known as last months COVID relief bill. That is money borrowed from the futures of children who havent been born yet. California will gladly accept the reimbursement for Hanns surgery, room and board. By entertaining Hanns absurd delusions about being a woman, the state also gave him shelter from other men in Californias prison system. Despite their own egregious crimes, even the worst among us generally arent too fond of being around people who harm children. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Amanda Re: Ukraine Dear Webby You have connections to Ukraine. Do you have a link to what is going on, that is not all skewed and distorted by the Socialists media? Thanks Amanda Dear Amanda Here is one: https://coffeeordie.com/ukraine-war-fighting-for-us/ That is by a war correspondent, who used to work in Iraq and Afghanistan on behalf of the USA. Have FUN! DearWebby "What do you mean by coming home half drunk?" screamed the angry wife. "It's not my fault. I ran out of money," said Phil. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One beautiful Sunday morning, a priest announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons... a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour, and a coin sermon that lasts till noon. Now, we'll take the collection to see which one you want." ____________________________________________ The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, what is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart," she sobs, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. I'll get you a new cat in the morning." ____________________________________________ A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property. He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. The driver pulled over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer. "Do you know how I can get to Route 91?" the driver asked. The farmer thought for a few seconds. Then he said, "Nope." "Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?" the driver asked. "Nope." "How about the town of Hadley. Do you know which direction it is from here?" "Nope." Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. "You don't know very much, do you?" he said. "Nope," the farmer replied. "But I don't have to. I'm not lost." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, April 17 in 1492 Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to find a passage to Asia and the Indies. 1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. 1524 New York Harbor was discovered by Giovanni Verrazano. 1535 Antonio Mendoza was appointed first viceroy of New Spain. 1629 Horses were first imported into the colonies by the American Massachusetts Bay Colony. 1758 Frances Williams published a collection of Latin poems. He was the first African-American to graduate from a college in the western hemisphere. 1808 Bayonne Decree by Napoleon I of France ordered the seizure of U.S. ships. 1810 Pineapple cheese was patented by Lewis M. Norton. 1824 Russia abandoned all North American claims south of 54' 40'. 1860 New Yorkers learned of a new law that required fire escapes to be provided for tenement houses. 1864 U.S. Civil War General Grant banned the trading of prisoners. 1865 Mary Surratt was arrested as a conspirator in the Lincoln assassination. 1875 The game "snooker" was invented by Sir Neville Chamberlain. 1895 China and Japan signed the Treaty of Shimonoseki. It was the end of the first Sino-Japanese War. In the treaty China ceded Taiwan to Japan. 1917 A bill in Congress to establish Daylight Saving Time was defeated. It was passed a couple of months later. 1941 Igor Sikorsky accomplished the first successful helicopter lift-off from water near Stratford, CT. 1941 The office of Price Administration was established in the U.S. to handle rationing. 1946 The last French troops left Syria. 1961 About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. It was an unsuccessful attack. 1964 Jerrie Mock became first woman to fly an airplane solo around the world. 1964 The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model. 1967 The U.S. Supreme Court barred Muhammad Ali's request to be blocked from induction into the U.S. Army. 1969 In Los Angeles, Sirhan Sirhan was convicted of assassinating U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy. 1969 Czechoslovak Communist Party chairman Alexander Dubcek was deposed. 1970 Apollo 13 returned to Earth safely after an on-board accident with an oxygen tank. 1975 Khmer Rouge forces capture the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh. It was the end of the five-year war. 1983 In Warsaw, police routed 1,000 Solidarity supporters. 1983 In New York, a transit strike that began on March 7 ended. 1984 In London, demonstrators outside the Libyan Embassy were fired upon from someone inside. Eleven people were injured and an English Police woman was killed. 1985 In Lebanon, the cabinet resigned as Shiites took W. Beirut. 1987 In Sri Lanka, Tamil guerrillas killed 122 people in a road ambush. 1989 In Poland, courts gave Solidarity legal status. 1993 A federal jury in Los Angeles convicted two former police officers of violating the civil rights of beaten motorist Rodney King. Two other officers were acquitted. 1996 Erik and Lyle Menendez were sentenced to life in prison without parole for killing their parents. 1999 In India, the government of Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee collapsed after losing a vote of confidence. 2021 Do smiled. |
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