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Good Morning, Do! Today is Fiday, February 10 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, February 10, in 1967, The 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment required the appointment of a vice-president when that office became vacant and instituted new measures in the event of presidential disability. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Montgomery man sentenced to 67 years in prison for attempted murder __________________________________________________ Q I am among those who think that science has great beauty. A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale. --- Marie Curie (1867 - Quote for today: "The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those that vote for a living." ________________________________________________ A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants for the statue. The store owner replies "It's $200 for the statue and $2000 for the story that goes with it." The man replies "I really don't care about the story, but I do want the statue." As the man is paying for the statue, the shop owner says "All right, but I guarantee you will be back for the story." The man walks out of the shop and starts down the street carrying the cat statue. When he comes to the crosswalk, he happens to glance behind him and sees 3 or 4 cats sitting about 10 feet away, looking at him. He shrugs it off and crosses when the light changes. He goes several more blocks and, at another crosswalk, looks behind himself again. This time there are about 30 cats sitting there looking at him. The man starts to get a little nervous and picks up his pace when the light changes. By the time the man reaches the pier at the end of the street, he has now been running for several blocks. He was running because every time he turned around, there were more and more cats behind him. He looked like the pied piper. When he got to the end of the pier, he turned around once more and saw at least 2000 cats sitting there looking at him. There were so many cats that there was no way to get off the pier without going through them and he knew there was no way he was going to do that. In a panic, he turned toward the water and heaved the statue as far as he could. Amazingly, all of the cats ran right past him and jumped in the water after the statue and never came out. The man, still shaking from his ordeal, immediately started running back to the shop. As he burst through the door, the shop owner saw him and said, "I told you that you'd be back for the story!" "To heck with the story," gasps the man, "do you have a statue of a politician??" __________________________________________________ A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so does my husband." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me." __________________________________________________ jonnytrisch42 Sunrise at the iconic Mesa Arch in Canyonlands National Park, Moab, UT I have been there a couple of times, but that picture was taken by Jonny Trish _________________________________________________ The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with Gods divine will. At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of Gods creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide. The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do. But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They havent seen a squirrel since. __________________________________________________ Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy Godmother replied: "Well, Cinderella, as you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, almost under her breath, she uttered her first wish: "I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said: "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!" The Fairy Godmother replied: "It's the least I can do. What does your heart desire for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. And long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke: "You have one more wish, what will you have?" Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said: "I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man." Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a fundamental change in his biological make-up, that, when complete, he stood before her a boy so beautiful - the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen - so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke: "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life!" And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his strong, youthful arms. He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath: "I bet you regret having me neutered now, don't you?" ____________________________________________________ 1600 year old Olive tree in Italy ___________________________________________________ One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget." They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. "Well," he began, "I remember back in '44', we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!' Well... I just crapped my pants." The young men looked astonished and one of them said, "I don't blame you, I would have crapped my pants too if a lion jumped out at me." The old man shook his head and said, "No, no, not then, just now when I said 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!'" ___________________________________________________ One day this old lady walks into the doctors office and is shown into a room. When the doctor comes in and asks what the problem is she answers, "I have awful gas, but it doesn't bother me. You see, it's completely silent, and doesn't smell at all." So the doctor, after examining her thoroughly gives her some pills and tells her to take one everyday and come back in a week. So the old lady comes back, and when the doctor asks if her problem is any better she replies, "Well I don't know what you gave me but now my gas smells terribly!" The doctor replies "Well now that we've got your sinuses cleared up let's work on your hearing!"' One day this old lady walks into the doctors office and is shown into a room. When the doctor comes in and asks what the problem is she answers, "I have awful gas, but it doesn't bother me. You see, it's completely silent, and doesn't smell at all." So the doctor, after examining her thoroughly gives her some pills and tells her to take one everyday and come back in a week. So the old lady comes back, and when the doctor asks if her problem is any better she replies, "Well I don't know what you gave me but now my gas smells terribly!" The doctor replies "Well now that we've got your sinuses cleared up let's work on your hearing!"' __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Enrique B. Jaquez, 43, Aurora, Illinois, USA Montgomery man sentenced to 67 years in prison for attempted murder A Montgomery man is being sentenced to 67 years behind bars for shooting a man in Aurora back in 2015. The Kane County State's Attorney's Office says that 43- year-old Enrique B. Jaquez broke into a home on Brighton Circle in Aurora in March of 2015 and shot the boyfriend of his former girlfriend in the back as he was trying to flee. The victim survived after surgery and several days of intensive care. A Montgomery man is being sentenced to 67 years behind bars for shooting a man in Aurora back in 2015. The Kane County State's Attorney's Office says that 43- year-old Enrique B. Jaquez broke into a home on Brighton Circle in Aurora in March of 2015 and shot the boyfriend of his former girlfriend in the back as he was trying to flee. The victim survived after surgery and several days of intensive care. Jaquez fled the scene and was not arrested until 2018 when he attempted to enter the United States from Mexico. Jaquez was sentenced to 31 years for attempted murder, 31 years for home invasion, and another 5 years for aggravated unlawful use of a weapon by a felon. The sentences will be served consecutively. Jaquez is required to serve at least 85 percent of his sentence. ____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Irwin re: UNinstall programs Dear Webby * I inherited a computer from my daughter. It is totally polluted with all kinds of weird programs, that I do NOT want. Should I just dump it, or can it be cleaned? Irwin Dear Irwin I have recommended "Should I remove it" for about 25 years. The only complaint I eve got is that their site plqys stupid, if you have already installed it and you are trying to download it again. If that happens, just start it up. It is VERY civilized and checks your entire computer, and lists every program in it, but gives you the guillottine lever. YOU get to send the crap to hell. Should I remove it? By the way, I am not an affiliate and won't get a penny if you download and use it, even if you buy the PRO. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The medical student was shocked when he received a failing grade in radiology. Approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reason for the grade. "You know the self X-ray you took?" asked the professor. "I do." said the student. "A fine picture," the professor said, "of your lungs, stomach, and liver." "If it's a fine picture, then why did you give me an F?" asked the student. "I had no choice," said the professor. "You didn't put your heart into it." ____________________________________________________ Today, February 10 in 1763, The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. In the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 1840, Britain's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg-Gotha. 1846, Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints began their exodus to the west from Illinois. 1863, In New York City, two of the worlds most famous midgets, General Tom Thumb and Lavinia Warren were married. 1863, In Virginia, the first fire extinguisher patent was issued to Alanson Crane. 1870, The city of Anaheim was incorporated for the first time. 1870, The YWCA was founded in New York City. 1879, The electric arc light was used for the first time. 1897, "The New York Times" began printing "All the news that's fit to print" on their front page. 1920, Major league baseball representatives outlawed pitches that involve tampering with the ball. 1923, Ink paste was manufactured for the first time by the Standard Ink Company. 1925, The first waterless gas storage tank was placed in service in Michigan City, IN. 1933, The singing telegram was introduced by the Postal Telegraph Company of New York City. 1933, Primo Carnera knocked out Ernie Schaaf in round 13 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Schaaf died as a result of the knockout punch. 1934, The first imperforated, ungummed sheets of postage stamps were issued by the U.S. Postal Service in New York City. 1935, The Pennsylvania Railroad began passenger service with its electric locomotive. The engine was 79-1/2 feet long and weighed 230 tons. 1942, The Normandie, the former French liner, capsized in New York Harbor. The day before the ship had caught fire while it was being fitted for the U.S. Navy. 1962, The Soviet Union exchanged captured American U2 pilot Francis Gary Powers for the Soviet spy Rudolph Ivanovich Abel being held by the U.S. 1967, The 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The amendment required the appointment of a vice-president when that office became vacant and instituted new measures in the event of presidential disability. 1975, The U.S. Post Office issued a commemorative stamp that featured NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft. 1981, The Las Vegas Hilton hotel-casino caught fire. Eight people were killed and 198 were injured. 1989, Ron Brown became the first African American to head a major U.S. political party when he was elected chairman of the Democratic National Committee. 1990, South African President F.W. de Klerk announced that black activist Nelson Mandela would be released the next day after 27 years in captivity. 1992, Mike Tyson was convicted in Indianapolis of raping Desiree Washington, Miss Black American contestant. 1997, The U.S. Army suspended its top-ranking enlisted soldier, Army Sgt. Major Gene McKinney following allegations of sexual misconduct. McKinney was convicted of obstruction of justice and acquitted of 18 counts alleging sexual harassment of six military women. 1998, A man became the first to be convicted of committing a hate crime in cyberspace. The college dropout had e-mailed threats to Asian students. 1998, Voters in Maine repealed a 1997 gay rights law. Maine was the first state to abandone such legislation. 1999, Avalanches killed at least 10 people when they roared down the French Alps 30 miles from Geneva. 2005, North Korea publicly announced for the first time that it had nuclear arms. The country also rejected attempts to restart disarmament talks in the near future saying that it needed the weapons as protection against an increasingly hostile United States. 2009, A Russian and an American satellite collide over Siberia. 2009, Amazon announced the Kindle 2. 2022 Do smiled.
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