Good Morning, Do! Thank you, Arlene!! Thank you, Harry!! Thank you, Micki ! Today is Sunday, January 2 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Police hunt for armed and dangerous 14-year-old suspected of triple murder ____________________________________________________ Today, January 1, in 1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. ____________________________________________________ Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. --- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. --- Jay Leno (1950 - ) Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. --- Pat Paulsen ____________________________________________________ "Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key." "Welcome to hell, here's your harp." Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A: Lawnmowers can be tuned. ____________________________________________________   Frank Menzel Lindau, Germany In the background across the Bodensee (Lake Constance), you see the West end of Austria, where I had grown up about 30km East of Lindau. Switzerland would be about as far away to the right. Originally they had two lions at the harbor entrance to Lindau, but when they had to widen the entrance for the paddle wheel steam ships, they sold one lion and built a lighthouse with the proceeds. ____________________________________________________ A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up with a puzzled look and said, "Mom, these are MY feet!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Abel Elias Acosta, 14, Garland, Texas, USA The father, 33-year-old Richard Acosta  has been arrested in connection with the incident after turning himself in to GPD. His bond has been set at $1,000,000.  Police hunt for armed and dangerous 14-year-old suspected of triple murder  An armed and dangerous 14-year-old male is on the run from Texas authorities after he allegedly carried out the fatal shooting of three Latino teenagers at a convenience store in a Dallas suburb. The Garland Police Department (GPD) said in an announcement on Wednesday that Abel Elias Acosta had been identified as the shooter behind the three deaths on Sunday. Three Latino teenagers, aged 14 to 17, were killed in the incident at a convenience store in Garland County, the GPD said. A 15-year-old boy was also injured. Although the suspect has so far evaded authorities, his father Richard Acosta turned himself in on Monday, the GPD said. As NBC News reported, he is suspected of having transported his son to and from the shooting. Detectives believe Acosta is evading and hiding from authorities, and asked for members of the public to assist in its search. The 14-year-old was also described as armed and dangerous. It is typically not the practice of the Garland Police Department to release juvenile information, the department said on Wednesday, but due to the nature of the offense and potential risk to the public, the court has authorised the release of his information. If found and convicted, he faces the charge of Capital Murder for the shooting death of the three teenagers, it was said. Such a sentence could lead to life imprisonment. He was described as as a light-skinned Hispanic male with dark hair, brown eyes, approximately 5 05 in height, and weighing around 125 pounds.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Doris Re: UN-Installer Dear Webby I used to have an UNinstaller, that I really liked. Now there are over a dozen different ones, but I want the one I had used for two dozen years. Doris  Dear Doris You probably mean the good ol REVO Uninistaller. It is still at Revo Uninstaller Free Have FUN! DearWebby 
 After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse, put the green mud-pack on her face, the teeth-whitening cartridge in her mouth and proceeded to wash her hair and stick curlers into it. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel over her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that monfter ?" 
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 _____________________________________________  Shirley had 2 two red ears and went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a blouse and the phone rang -- but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?" "My boyfriend called again, asking what the screaming had been about." ______________________________________________ A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!" "Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said. The boy said, "It wasn't that. She thought the bait was Sushi and ate it all." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Sherlock Holmes : "Ah Watson, I see you are wearing your winter underwear." Watson : "Marvelous, Holmes, marvelous! How did you ever deduce that!" Sherlock Holmes : "That's elementary, my dear Watson, you've forgotten to put on your trousers." ___________________________________________________  
 Today, January 2, in 1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge was opened to traffic. 1859 Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of Practical Etiquette." 1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 1879 Thomas Edison began construction on his first generator. 1882 The Standard Oil Trust agreement was completed and dated. The document transferred the stock and property of more than 40 companies into the control of nine trustees lead by John D. Rockefeller. This was the first example of what became known as a holding company. 1892 Ellis Island opened as America's first federal immigration center. Annie Moore, at age 15, became the first person to pass through. 1900 U.S. Secretary of State John Hay announced the Open Door Policy to prompt trade with China. 1900 The Chicago Canal opened. 1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 1929 The United States and Canada reached an agreement on joint action to preserve Niagara Falls. 1935 Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the kidnap- murder of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was found guilty and executed. 1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese forces during World War II. 1953 "The Life of Riley" debuted on NBC-TV. 1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 1957 The San Francisco and Los Angeles stock exchanges merged. 1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. 1971 In the U.S., a federally imposed ban on television cigarette advertisements went into effect. 1974 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring all states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The law was intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal speed limits were abolished in 1995. 1983 The musical "Annie" closed on Broadway at the Uris Theatre after 2,377 performances. 1991 Sharon Pratt Dixon was sworn in as mayor of Washington, DC. She was the first black woman to head a city of that size and prominence. 1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over three years. 1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep inflation in check and promote confidence. 2004 NASA's Stardust space probe collected samples from the comet Wild 2. The samples returned to Earth on January 15, 2006. 2008 The price of oil hit $100 per barrell for the first time. 2021 Do smiled. 
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