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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, October 28, in 1793, Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award goes to Crook fired gun 7 times during struggle with Phoenix cops ____________________________________________________ The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900 - 1944) ___________________________________________________ Here is a Classic: I gaze at the brilliant moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come closest to Utopia and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. Then I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. ___________________________________________________ Husband: "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!" Wife: "No problem. I'll get you some that is." _____________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Damoin Obrian Walters, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Crook fired gun 7 times during struggle with Phoenix cops Two Phoenix Police officers were hospitalized after a struggle with a suspect ended in gunfire, however, no one was actually struck, the Phoenix Police Department said. The incident happened just before 7 a.m. on Tuesday, Oct. 25 near Glendale Avenue and 16th Street, says Phoenix Police Sgt. Brian Bower. Officers responded to reports of a fight and once they got there, they talked with a man and woman about what happened. "The officer speaking with the man ordered him to take his hand out of his pocket a number of times. The man refused. The officer then struggled with the man, which resulted in a gun going off while still in the mans pocket. The struggle continued as the officer was trying to take the man into custody. During the fight, the man fired several more rounds," Bower explained. Police say Walters fired the gun seven times in total during the struggle. An "electronic control device" was used on him and the 24- year-old was taken into custody. He's identified as Damoin Obrian Walters and was booked into jail. "Both officers suffered minor injuries during this incident and were taken to the hospital to be checked out," Bower said. Court records show that he was not allowed to have a gun due to a felony conviction in Colorado. The gun had been stolen in Colorado, officials said. _____________________________________________________  ___________________________________________________ Anyone who's ever ridden in a cab in Washington DC knows they're some of the world's most brazen drivers. Oddly enough though, their current accident rate isn't all that bad. I asked one of the drivers one day the reason for that. "Easy," he said. "all the really bad drivers are dead now." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Nataliya Zubar Hibiscus _________________________________________________ Angus McGillicuddy was looking for a gift for a friend of his. Everything he saw in the stores was too expensive. Then he came across a glass vase that had been broken, which could be purchased for next to nothing. The tightwad asked the store clerk to send the gift, hoping his friend would think that the vase had been broken during transit. A couple of weeks later, the tightwad received an acknowledgment for the gift. "Thanks for the vase," read the card. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately." ____________________________________________________ A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know" said the man, "but I can't. Until snow plowing season starts and more money comes in, I can't afford a divorce!" ================================================= DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Vin Re: Unwanted tool bars Dear Webby Every program I install seems to come with some silly toolbar that has maybe one icon on it that I use and half a dozen that are totally useless. If they have so little confidence in their program that they feel they have to provide an UN-install icon on prime, easy to get to, toolbar space, why sell it in the first place? How can I restrict all those silly toolbars to just one icon? Vin Dear Vin You can't. Just delete all those silly little toolbars. Make desktop shortcuts to the programs that you need, then make a desktop folder and drag them in there. Next you drag that folder into a subdirectory, and make one desktop shortcut icon for that. That way YOU control which icons are taking up space. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a week of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, October 28, in 1636, Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The original name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was the first school of higher education in America. 1776, The Battle of White Plains took place during the American Revolutionary War. 1793, Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 1886, The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty Enlightening the World." 1904, The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use fingerprinting. 1919, The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 1922, Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government and introduced fascism to Italy. 1936, The Statue of Liberty was rededicated by U.S. President Roosevelt on its 50th anniversary. 1940, During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 1949, U.S. President Harry Truman swore in Eugenie Moore Anderson as the U.S. ambassador to Denmark. Anderson was the first woman to hold the post of ambassador. 1958, Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the name John XXIII. 1962, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 1965, Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 1965, The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, was completed. 1976, John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 1982, Soviet premier Leonid Brezhnev condemned the U.S. for arms buildup. 1983, The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 1985, John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 1986, The centennial of the Statue of Liberty was celebrated in New York. 1988, Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug after the government of France demanded it do so. 1990, Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 1993, Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 1994, U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the troops there would be home by Christmas. 2022 Do smiled.
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