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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, January 9, in 1995, Russian cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov, 51, completed his 366th day in outer space aboard the Mir space station, breaking the record for the longest continuous time spent in outer space. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Boca Raton Man, Jailed For Threats, Threatens Victim Again From Jail _____________________________________________________ Q Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. --- Tom Stoppard (1937 - ) ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Evelyn for this one: Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" __________________________________________________ 10 biggest lies on the Internet: 1) "Mircrosoft (AOL, McAfee, etc) announced a virus" None of them ever has, nor ever will announce a virus. 2) "You can make thousands of dollars with this simple affiliate program..." Show me just ONE person who has made even $100 with an "affiliate" con in the last month ! They just want to con the biggest dumbos on the net to donate free advertising to them. Btw., "click-through" advertising is just as bad a scam as the affiliate scams. It is rigged against you worse than a back-alley slot machine. 3) "Watch your traffic explode after submitting it to 15 000 FFA directories" You will get zero traffic, but TONS of spam. If you quickly want to add 20 000 spam sources to your spam block, use a disposable address and submit to these nuisances. Then harvest the spam sources from the headers of the spam that instantly fills your mailbox. 4) "If you have a heart, you will...." What follows that line is ALWAYS guaranteed lies. Same also if you see: "IF YOU DELETE THIS U SERIOUSLY DONT HAVE A HEART" Guaranteed total lies behind that subject line. 5) "AOL AND ZDNET (and Microsoft, and the Cancer Foundation and etc...) will donate 2 cents for each time .... some silly chain letter is forwarded. " No, they won't. Guaranteed. They want your money, and they have absolutely no intention of donating any money to whatever that chain letter is about. And besides, they don't give a hoot how many people are silly enough to forward chain letters. 6) "Effortlessly loose 30 pounds quickly" Yeah, sure. Wanna buy a bridge while you are at it ? The only way to effortlessly loose 30 pounds quickly is to meet me in a dark alley and announce that you are a spammer. Works only once though. 7) "Your Own Internet Business in 30 seconds!" Donating your money or personal info to somebody else is not a business. Not for you, anyway. 8) "Send your email to .... to be remove from this spam" Yeah, sure. And added to every Spam-CD in the next 5 years. If there is no click to unsubscribe, don't touch it. 9) "Follow me to financial freedom" If the bozo was doing so great, why does he have to stoop so low as to annoy people with spam ? 10) "Sign the petition against Email Tax" One of the oldest hoaxes on the net. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Nicholas Finno, Boca Raton, Florida, USA Boca Raton Man, Jailed For Threats, Threatens Victim Again From Jail A Boca Raton man who was jailed on January 2nd for making threats to a girlfriend was just rearrested while behind bars. Police, monitoring his phone calls, allegedly heard him threaten the woman who he is accused of initially threatening. Nicholas Finno, of the 22300 block of SW 66th Avenue in Boca Raton, was first jailed earlier this week when he allegedly sent the following texts to a woman, according to an arrest report reviewed by BocaNewsNow.com. The texts are transcribed verbatim from the official charging document. Id watch your back I have nothing left to live for so play with fire lets play hide and seek Im coming for you Im a beat that s*it you might find yourself dead Im not stopping ever New Year will leave U dead Let me call the paramedics you going have to call the cops ** Finno sent an image of a grave stone with: I want to kill you. I promise your life I will f*ck you up I will have this ready for you by Tuesday you better go call the cops you really should die ** you want me to drive there for you and solve this From the Palm Beach County Jail, Finno then allegedly called the victim to make additional threats. He then called his mother who initiated a three-way phone call that prevented jail officials from monitoring who he was specifically speaking with. Even so, the call was recorded. Investigators documented the following: In the call, Finno calls (the alleged victim) at approximately 0124hrs and identifies himself as Nico. At the beginning of the call, Finno tells (the alleged victim) the following: Are you coming to the hearing tomorrow? You know what we talked about right? Thats what you wanna do right? Stick to those words. After saying stick to those words (the alleged victim) appears to not understand what Finno said and responds back making it worse to which Finno then repeats Stick to those words. The pair then go on to discuss the case and the various aspects of their relationship. It should be noted that prior to this call, Finno contacted his mother who initiated a 3-way call with (the alleged victim). It is unknown at this time who else Finno talked to utilizing a 3-way call or had contact (the alleged victim) on his behalf as he was not utilizing his jail pin number during the phone calls. Finno remains in jail Saturday morning. He is charged with intimidation, aggravated stalking, obstructing justice, and contempt of court. Bond is set at $75,000. ___________________________________________________  ___________________________________________________ When Kevin came home, his wife, Liz, was crying. "Your mother insulted me," Liz sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" Kevin asked. "I know. But this morning a letter from her addressed to you and marked "Confidential" arrived. I opened it because I was curious." "And?" "At the end of the letter it said, 'PS. Dear Liz, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my Kevin.'" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Pine-Grosbeak _______________________________________________ Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses. "Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really make a big fuss over your wife". "I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage and we couldn't be happier." Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears. "Honey," Bob said, "whats' the matter?". "This has been the worst day," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk !" ____________________________________________________ My forgetter's getting better . My rememberer is broke, It's seriously not a joke. It's driving me plumb rotten. (Author's name forgotten) __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Olive RE: Urban Legends Dear Webby I used to go to Urban Legends to check on spoofs or stuff, that looked a bit fishy to me, but now that site goes to a black lipstick rapper's site selling CDs. The same with all other sites, that used to unmask spoofs. Have they all been hacked and taken over by the scammers? I know Snopes has been taken over by the Democrats during Obama's campaign, and they have been as slanted as FaceBook, but if you avoid political questions, they are still usable, sometimes. What can I use without having to worry about slanted results? Olive Dear Olive Truthorfiction seems to be still neutral. Truth Or Fiction Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Top Marks this week go to the government agency in Scunthorpe, England, who updated their email system to use Mail Sweeper For SMTP which did it's job brilliantly and filtered out any emails containing profanity or obscene language of ANY kind. All was fine, till they realised that no-one whatsoever had got ANY emails during the whole week since they installed the sofware. They checked through everything and couldn't find a problem, until one bright spark pointed out that all their email addresses contained '@scunthorpe.gov.uk', which in turn contains a term of endearment that apparently many Britons reserve for Government employees. ____________________________________________________ Today, January 9 in 1793, Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the first successful balloon flight in the U.S. 1799, British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger introduced income tax, at two shillings (10p) in the pound, to raise funds for the Napoleonic Wars. 1848, The first commercial bank was established in San Francisco, CA. 1861, The state of Mississippi seceded from the United States. 1894, The New England Telephone and Telegraph Company put the first battery-operated switchboard into operation in Lexington, MA. 1902, New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public. 1905, In Russia, the civil disturbances known as the Revolution of 1905 forced Czar Nicholas II to grant some civil rights. 1929, The Seeing Eye was incorporated in Nashville, TN. The company's purpose was to train dogs to guide the blind. 1936, The United States Army adopted the semi-automatic rifle. 1937, The first issue of "Look" went on sale. Within a month, "Look" became a biweekly magazine. 1940, Television was used for the first time to present a sales meeting to convention delegates in New York City. 1951, The United Nations headquarters officially opened in New York City. 1969, The supersonic aeroplane Concorde made its first trial flight, at Bristol. 1972, The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth was destroyed by fire in Hong Kong harbor. 1972, British miners went on strike for the first time since 1926. 1986, Kodak got out of the instant camera business after 10 years due to a loss in a court battle that claimed that Kodak copied Polaroid patents. 1991, U.S. secretary of state Baker and Iraqi foreign minister Aziz met for 6 1/2 hours in Geneva, but failed to reach any agreement that would forestall war in the Persian Gulf. 1995, Russian cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov, 51, completed his 366th day in outer space aboard the Mir space station, breaking the record for the longest continuous time spent in outer space. 1997, Tamil rebels attacked a military base in Sri Lanka. 200 soldiers and 140 rebels were killed. 2002, The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was pursuing a criminal investigation of Enron Corp. The company had filed for bankruptcy on December 2, 2001. 2003, Archaeologists announced that they had found five more chambers in the tomb of Qin Shihuang, China's first emperor. The rooms were believed to cover about 750,000 square feet. 2007, Steve Jobs, Apple Inc.'s CEO, announced the first generation iPhone. 2022 Do smiled.
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