Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, May 23 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Shooter Poops On His Arrest Warrant  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 23 in 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. She was then sold to the English. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. --- G. M. Trevelyan (1876 - 1962) Though music oft hath such a charm to make bad good, and good provoke to harm. --- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) It isn't what you know that counts, it's what you think of in time. --- Benjamin Franklin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ While teaching children about world religions, a teacher asked her students to bring a symbol of their family's faith to class. The next day, she asked each student to come forward and share the symbol with the class. The 1st child said, "I'm Muslim, and this is my prayer rug." The 2nd child said, "I'm Jewish, and this is my family's menorah." The 3rd child said, "I'm Roman Catholic, and this is my Mom's rosary." The 4th child said, "I'm Greek Orthodox, and this is an icon of my patron saint." The 5th child said, "I'm Southern Baptist, and this is my casserole dish." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ TEACHER: tester, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago. Do: Me! ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Demetrius Vidale, 24, Deerfield Beach, Floriduh  Florida Shooter Poops On His Arrest Warrant  Being accused of a crime is pretty crappy, but thats no reason to poop on a search warrant. Thats what a Florida man accused of shooting at a Deerfield Beach deputy allegedly did while his paperwork was being processed, according to the Broward County Sheriffs Office. Demetrius Vidale, 24, was arrested Tuesday in connection with a shootout that took place at about 3 a.m. Monday near Tropicante Nightclub, according to the Miami Herald. Authorities accuse Vidale of shooting and robbing club-goer Jordan Harris, who is expected to recover. In addition, Vidale allegedly shot at Broward Sheriffs deputy Derrick Nesbitt, who was responding to reports of gunshots. The deputy fired back but wasnt injured, according to WSVN TV. Vidale managed to elude capture until the next day, when he was apprehended while driving in Fort Lauderdale. Now Vidale has been charged with attempted first-degree murder, attempted murder of a law enforcement officer, armed robbery, obstructing a police officer executing a search warrant and driving with a revoked license, according to the criminal complaint. But its what Vidale allegedly did while in custody thats really raising a stink. When officers pulled over Vidale, they served him with a search warrant to get his DNA in order to match him to the crime scene. Vidale refused to let officers take his picture, fingerprints or DNA, claiming a judge had "no jurisdiction over him," according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel. However, while Vidales paperwork was being processed, he allegedly went into the bathroom and dumped a whole bunch of DNA ? or "defecation not appreciated" ? on the warrant, according to WSVN-TV. Vidale appeared in court on Wednesday where he chose to represent himself and to argue with the judge, the Sun- Sentinel reports. Jail records show Vidale remains behind bars at the Broward County Main Jail. Until he recognizes the jurisdiction of the judge, the judge cant grant him bail anyway.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Value of Bat Dear Webby A friend is moving out of her home and came across this old bat she has had for years. It's numbered 'LL797' and is in great condition. Anyone know where to find out about such things for her? Thanks in advance, Chris  Dear Chris I am more familiar with DOS bats than wooden ones. So, your friend has "bats in the attic" ? I wonder if you know what that phrase means around here ? All joking aside, the easiest way to find out if it is worth more than firewood, is to take a picture of it and post it on e-bay. If nobody bids on it, give it to a kid in exchange for mowing the lawn or weeding the driveway. Have FUN! DearWebby    Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny smiled and belted out: "Canoe!" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Peony Bushes Not Blooming By Frank [4 Posts, 20 Comments] If they are not setting buds then they are planted to deep. Peony need to be planted shallow. If you can see some of the root when planting that is ok. So you need to break up the roots and replant. You will probably have plants left over to give away. The earlier post is correct on the ants. Ants help them to bloom. Frank  Make sure the peonies have ants. They need them to produce flowers. As long as they have ants, they are as hardy as rhubarb. Mowing them in late summer also seems to help. Have FUN! DearWebby  

wrestling match between 4-year-old girl and boy

Thanks to Lynn for this one: I have the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, "Let's eat out!" ___________________________________________________

Guinea Pigs With Luscious Locks to Die For

It was "sharing time" in a kindergarten full of bright children. The teacher was presiding over a discussion about the children's parents. One child said, "Well, my mother's a Catholic and my father's Jewish." "Oh, wow!" said another. "So what do you believe?" "I believe in everything," said the first child. "What do you mean 'everything'?" asked another child. "Well, you know," said the first child, "Jesus Christ, Moses, Snow White, the Tooth Fairy, Santa, the Easter Bunny, everything!"

Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

>From Don When we moved into our new home, the first one we owned rather than rented, two of my husband's friends gave him a bottle of champagne. In the hustle and bustle of getting settled, the gift was tucked away and temporarily forgotten. Three months later we held a Christening party for our third child. Champagne flowed in celebration until, running short, we remembered our housewarming gift. In front of our guests, I opened the attached card and read it aloud, "Donald, take good care of this one. This one is yours!"

 Today, on May 23 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. She was then sold to the English. 1533 Henry VIIIs marriage to Catherine of Aragon was declared null and void. 1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of the Reformation were thrown through a window. 1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after being convicted of murder and piracy. 1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had invented bifocals. 1827 The first US nursery school was established in New York City. 1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was established. The organization's name was changed to Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920. 1895 The New York Public Library was created with an agreement that combined the city's existing Astor and Lenox libraries. 1901 American forces captured Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo. 1908 Part of the Great White Fleet arrived in Puget Sound, WA. 1915 During World War I, Italy switched sides and joined the Allies. 1926 The French captured the Moroccan Rif capital. 1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers. The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe. 1937 Industrialist John D. Rockefeller died. 1938 "LIFE" magazines cover pictured Errol Flynn as a glamour boy. 1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while imprisoned by the Allied forces. 1949 The Republic of West Germany was established. 1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann in Argentina. 1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the Central Bank and took 200 hostages. 1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union. 1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City was demolished. 1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern Ireland approved a peace accord. 1999 In Kansas City, MO, Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) died when he fell 90 feet while being lowered into a WWF wrestling ring. He was 33 years old. 1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old. 2013 Google acquired Makani Power for use for its Project Wing. 2017 Do smiled.

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