Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, August 17 Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Enjoy your vacation! >From Cajunbuckeye Now I surely do miss your paper while you are gone getting your eyes medicated and all, but if I may suggest could you not run reruns of your paper maybe the highest asked question of the week or month or so I am so bored when I have to waitt till Monday to get my dose of Dear Webby have a great weekennd Cajunbuckeye Dear Cajunbuckeye The problem is not with the writing, but with the sending. To prevent unauthorized hackers from abusing the sending program, it is quite tricky. That is the reason even Ophelia's newsletters get paused for three days. I can't delegate the sending. I tried that one time. With an average of $30 in donations per good month, I definitely can't pay anybody to do that for me. You probably have saved old ones in your archive. Just scroll through your archive. Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Domestic Assault Suspect Rams Patrol Car Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Aug 17 in 1807 Robert Fulton's "North River Steam Boat" (known as the "Clermont") began heading up New York's Hudson River on its successful round-trip to Albany. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Mistakes are the portals of discovery. --- James Joyce (1882 - 1941) We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts. --- John Dewey (1859 - 1952) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man. One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor. "There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest." "How do you know it's one of *our* wolves?" the Kentucky farmer asked. "Well," the Tennessee man replied, "he's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Anyone who's ever ridden in a cab in Washington DC knows they're some of the world's most brazen drivers. Oddly enough though, their current accident rate isn't all that bad. I asked one of the drivers one day the reason for that. "Easy," he said. "all the really bad drivers are dead now." ______________________________________________________ Mt Tamalpais By Michael Hayashi _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Daniel Gaines, 35, Camdenton, Mo Domestic Assault Suspect Rams Patrol Car A man from Camdenton is jailed after he allegedly assaulted his wife and rammed a deputy patrol car while attempting to evade authorities. 35-year-old Daniel Gaines is accused of hitting his wife in the face and choking her on Monday night. Deputies got a 911 call at 10:20 p.m. Monday about the domestic disturbance off Hidden Drive in Camdenton but Gaines had left the scene before police arrived. Deputies located the man near Highway 54 and the North Highway 5 exit, according to a press release. Deputies with the Camden County Sheriff's Department briefly stopped Gaines' red 2010 F-150 truck around 11:53 p.m. before he sped off quickly. One deputy attempted to pass Gaines during the chase. Gaines rammed the patrol car numerous times on the dry gap bridge prior to the Niangua Bridge, eventually disabling the patrol vehicle. He then continued driving towards his home, through a ditch which eventually brought the chase to an end. Gaines then began to, as the press release states, "advance(d) on the deputies at which time a deputy's taser was deployed." He was taken into custody and charged with first-degree assault, domestic assault, property damage, resisting arrest, and misdemeanor possession of marijuana. Gaines is being held without bond in Camden County Jail. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Nadia Re: Voice message email Dear Webby, I keep getting these emails with "Click attachment to listen to Voice Message" supposedly an attachment from some number, name unavailable. Somehow I have a hunch that it probably is not safe to click on that, and besides, I don't like being told to do something by somebody I don't know. What's the story? Nadia Dear Nadia Just dump it. If you had MailWasher, it would have dumped it for you. That is malware from the "Bad Shit" category, to use kind and diplomatic language. You can even make a filter. If mail is FROM vm@(yourdomain.com) then delete it, automatically, without even showing it in the list. After that, you will never see that crap again. Have FUN! DearWebby From Ireland OFFICE MEMO Please note that at this year's company party there will be only one cup of booze per person. Please bring your own cup. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bread Crumbs Save leftover bread in a bag in your freezer. Bagels, baguettes, biscuits, crackers, rolls, sandwich bread all work well. When the bag gets full or you need some bread crumbs, process the bread into very fine crumbs in your food processor or blender. Then store the leftover crumbs in the freezer. Tip provided by http://www.ThriftyFun.com If you want gourmet crumbs (coarser, and from mostly crust) make bread sticks from any left over bread dough, let them dry a few days and then smash them to crumbs in a gallon jar by hitting them with a piece of wood. The difference in taste is well worth the effort! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ >From Mona: I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. She asked, "Do I click the square?" I said yes. She asked me, "Single click or double click?" ___________________________________________________ | | Amazing places on our planet. 2017. |
___________________________________________________ >From Belinda Looking in the mall for a nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its sexy lingerie. To my delight, however, I found just what I was looking for. Waiting in the line to pay, I noticed a young woman behind me holding the same item. This confirmed what I suspected all along: despite being over 50, I still have a very "with it" attitude. "I see we have the same taste," I said proudly to the 20- something behind me. "Yes," she replied. "I'm getting this for my grandmother." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Patty," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't," agreed Patty, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother is such a klutz, he couldn't do this to save his life!" ____________________________________________________ | Today, August 17, in 1790 The capital city of the U.S. moved to Philadelphia from New York City. 1807 Robert Fulton's "North River Steam Boat" (known as the "Clermont") began heading up New York's Hudson River on its successful round-trip to Albany. 1815 Napoleon began serving his exile when he arrived at the island of St. Helena. 1859 A hot air balloon was used to carry mail for the first time. John Wise left Lafayette, IN, for New York City with 100 letters. He had to land after only 27 miles. 1863 Federal batteries and ships cannons bombarded Fort Sumter in Charleston, SC, harbor during the Civil War. 1896 The Klondike gold rush was set off by George Carmack discovering gold on Rabbit Creek in the Yukon. 1903 Joseph Pulitzer donated a million dollars to Columbia University. This started the Pulitzer Prizes in his name. 1915 Charles F. Kettering received a patent for the first electric ignition device. 1943 The Allied conquest of Sicily was completed as U.S. and British forces entered Messina. 1945 The nationalists of Indonesia declared their independence from the Netherlands. 1961 The Communist East German government completed the construction of the Berlin Wall. 1977 Florists Transworld Delivery (FTD) reported that in one day the number of orders for flowers to be delivered to Graceland had surpassed the number for any other event in the company's history. 1978 Maxie Anderson, Ben Abruzzo and Larry Newman became the first to land after a successful trans-Atlantic balloon flight. The voyage began in Presque Isle, ME and ended in Miserey, France. 1982 The U.S. Senate approved an immigration bill that granted permanent resident status to illegal aliens who had arrived in the United States before 1977. 1985 A year-long strike began when 1,400 Geo. A. Hormel and Co. meat packers walked off the job. 1992 Woody Allen admitted to being romantically involved with Soon-Yi Previn. The girl was the adopted daughter of Mia Farrow, Allen's longtime companion. 1996 A military cargo plane crashed in Wyoming killing eight crew members and a Secret Service employee. The plane was carrying gear for U.S. President Clinton. 1996 Ross Perot was announced to be the Reform Party's presidential candidate. It was the party's first-ever candidate. 1998 U.S. President Clinton admitted to having an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. 1998 NationsBank and BankAmerica merge to create the largest U.S. bank. 1998 Russia devalued the ruble. 2002 In Santa Rosa, CA, the Charles M. Schulz Museum opened to the public. 2017 Do smiled. |
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