good morning, Do! Thank you, Loren!! Today is Fiday, June 9 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 9 in 2011, The world's first artificial organ transplant was performed. It was an artificial windpipe coated with stem cells. ___________________________________________ Bonehead Suspect arrested after 3 M drug bust in Southern Arizona _____________________________________________________ Q You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. --- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983) I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. -- Totie Fields Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. --- Bertrand Russell It's sad that wise people don't have the patience to argue with hysterical fools and dogooders. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ >From Bill Last time I was in the hospital, I really enjoyed myself: Patting the bottoms of the pretty nurses, offering to show them my circumcision scar, and the like. One nurse finally had all she could stand of my crude behaviour and said, "A pervert like you should be living in a whore house!" I grinned at her and said, "Well, it WOULD be cheaper than here, but I can't get my insurance to pay for it." _____________________________________________________ The Irish priest was at the altar one dreary Sunday morning, addressing his congregation with a vehement sermon that alcohol was the work of the devil. "As an example," he stated during his sermon, "If you were to lead a donkey to a bowl of water and a bowl of whiskey, from which would he drink?" A grizzled old Mick at the back of the church spoke up: "Aye, Father, for sure he'd drink from the water." The priest, elated, said, "Very good, my son. And can you tell me WHY he'd drink from the water?" The Irishman at the back of the church replied, "Sure I can tell ye' why, Father. Because he's an ass." _____________________________________________________  Rutile in Quartz ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock  Fernando Alfonso-Fernandez, 27, In jail in Tucson, Arizona, USA Suspect arrested after 3 M drug bust in Southern Arizona One person was arrested after the Arizona Department of Public Safety made a large drug bust near Amado, Arizona June 2. AZDPS says a trooper stopped a passenger car on north Interstate 19 near kilometer 54. The trooper searched the vehicle after observing multiple indicators of criminal activity. AZDPS says the trooper found nearly 230 pounds of fentanyl, or more than a million pills, and more than nine pounds of cocaine. The drugs have an estimated street value of $3.1 million. The driver was identified as 27-year-old Fernando Alfonso- Fernandez, who now faces charges of possession, transportation and sale of narcotic drugs for sale. ___________________________________________________ A friend of mine was visiting a college, which had those security call boxes every few hundred feet. If you were wandering around the campus at night and felt uneasy about somebody following you, for instance, you could hit the button and have a security officer investigate immediately. On one of these phones hung a sign that said, "Out of Order." Underneath it someone had scrawled, "Keep Running." ___________________________________________________ >From Bill P "Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for her mother....." Poor sharks ! Don't let the PETA fanatics find out about that! _____________________________________________________ From: Willie RE: Voice Mail Dear Webby, The Teleskunks seem to have figured a way to call straight into my voice mail, depriving my poor squeaky duck of the chance to tell them to go suck a ******. How rude and inconsiderate! How can I stop that? Willie Dear Willie No idea. I have never checked my voice mail. It probably filled up ages ago. One friend made a Tequila fuelled message for his answering machine telling callers about his inability to hear their thilly message because his bullshit filter blocks it, and that they should send him an email. That would not stop calls straight to his voice mail, but it sure is funny. If it becomes a serious problem, contact your phone company. They may have a way to turn off your voice mail. Have fun! Dearwebby ____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ___________________________________________________  __________________________________________________ History Today in 1064, Coimbra, Portugal fell to Ferdinand, the King of Castile. 1534, Jacques Cartier became the first to sail into the river he named Saint Lawrence. 1790, John Barry copyrighted "Philadelphia Spelling Book." It was the first American book to be copyrighted. 1790, Civil war broke out in Martinique. 1860, The Ms. Ann Stevens book "Malaeska, the Indian Wife of the White Hunter" was offered for sale for a dime. It was the first published "dime novel." 1861, Mary Ann "Mother" Bickerdyke began working in Union hospitals. 1923, Bulgaria's government was overthrown by the military. 1931, Robert H. Goddard patented a rocket-fueled aircraft design. 1934, Donald Duck made his debut in the Silly Symphonies cartoon "The Wise Little Hen." 1940, Norway surrendered to the Nazis during World War II before they arrived. 1943, The withholding tax on payrolls was authorized by the U.S. Congress. 1945, Japanese Premier Kantaro Suzuki declared that Japan would fight to the last rather than accept unconditional surrender. 1959, The first ballistic missile carrying submarine, the USS George Washington, was launched. 1965, Michel Jazy ran the mile in 3 minutes, 53.6 seconds. He broke the record set by Peter Snell in 1964. 1973, Secretariat won the 105th Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths and ran the fastest 1 1/2 miles on dirt at 2:24. 1978, Leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints struck down a 148-year-old policy of excluding black men from the Mormon priesthood. 1980, Richard Pryor was severely burned by a "free-base" mixture that exploded. He was hospitalized more than two months. 1985, Thomas Sutherland, an American educator, was kidnapped in Lebanon. He was not released until November 1991. 1986, The Rogers Commission released a report on the Challenger disaster. The report explained that the spacecraft blew up as a result of a failure in a solid rocket booster joint. That report was phony. If the O-ring had indeed failed, the fast moving air between the booster and the Challenger, plus the ceramic tiles on the Challenger, would have safely handled that. It was an excuse to change booster suppliers. 1999, NATO and Yugoslavia signed a peace agreement over Kosovo. 2000, Canada and the United States signed a border security agreement. The agreement called for the establishment of a border-enforcement team. 2000, The U.S. House of Representatives voted to repeal gift and estate taxes. The bill called for the taxes to be phased out over 10 years. 2001, Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) became the first National Hockey League (NHL) player to win three Conn Smythe Trophies. The award is given to the playoff's Most Valuable Player. 2011, The world's first artificial organ transplant was performed. It was an artificial windpipe coated with stem cells. 2023, Do smiled.
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