Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, November 29 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ Today, November 29 in 1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. The US armed and directed Taliban had been fighting the Russians for a dozen years. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | Today's Bonehead Award: Drunk stripper Kicked Club Manager In Groin _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex _______________________________________________ A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them with his front end loader. The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie." ________________________________________________` Nice Doggie ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lakiesha Ortiz, 35, Clearwater, Floriduh Drunk stripper Kicked Club Manager In Groin A Florida stripper is facing criminal charges after allegedly kicking the manager of a gentleman's club in the genitals while wearing high-heel "exotic dancer" shoes, according to a police report. Investigators allege that Lakiesha Ortiz, 35, became unruly early yesterday morning after the manager of Sinsations, an adult club in Clearwater, asked her to go home for the evening. Cops noted that Ortiz, who is employed as an exotic dancer at Sinsations, was asked to leave the club because she was intoxicated. Seen above, Ortiz allegedly threw beer bottles and glass drinking cups upon being asked by manager Mark Kachucha to depart the club. Later, as club security and Kachucha sought to de-escalate the situation, Ortiz allegedly front kicked Kachucha "directly in his genitals" while wearing her work shoes. Ortiz then allegedly kicked Kachucha in the stomach. After cops arrived at Sinsations, Ortiz allegedly kicked Kachucha a third time, directly in front of a Clearwater Police Department sergeant. Charged with battery and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanors, Ortiz was booked into the county jail around 3:15 AM. She was released from custody Sunday evening on $650 bond. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Marcy Re: Volume of the Internet Dear Webby, The music on the postcards is not as loud as it used to be. You must have turned down the volume if the Internet. Please correct your mistakes immediately and turn up the Internet where it is supposed to be so that I can hear it properly! Marcy==== Dear Marcy The volume control is in the little speaker icon on your task bar. If that is turned up, check for the setting on your speakers, or if there is maybe a short circuit between your earphones. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf has for men. Mary: TELL me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions! Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask? Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions..like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?" If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say, 'well done'?" "Oh, thank you, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Getting More Pop Out of Your Popcorn When making popcorn, I have found it is better not to heat the oil on a high heat at first. I know this may sound stupid, but the kernels get more more heat distribution if you start out slow. (Think: You don't cook prime rib steak on blazing heat from the get go; you'll end up burning parts and other parts will be undercooked.) After hearing the first few kernels pop, turn up the heat. Cook as normal. By Tim from Science Hil, KY Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lillies. "Tch Tch!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?" "Fishin', sir." "Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?" The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar. His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?" The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!" ___________________________________________________ A rich woman was giving a garden party with many wealthy guests in attendance. While the party was going on, two gardeners were doing yard work on the rear lawn. While one of the guests was watching him, one of the gardeners suddenly jumped into the air and performed numerous graceful swirling dance movements. The guest remarked to his hostess, "That man is such a talented dancer, I'd pay him $100 to dance before all of the guests!" When the hostess asked the head gardener about making such an arrangement, he yelled, "Hey Fred! Do you think for $100 you could step on that rake again?" ___________________________________________________ A man's car stalled on a country road. When he got out to try to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met the farmer. He told the farmer his story. "Was it a large brown cow with a white spot over the right eye?" asked the farmer. "Yes!" "Oh, I wouldn't listen to Bessie," said the Farmer. "She only knows tractors and diesels, but doesn't really have a clue about gasoline engines." __________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | ___________________________________________________ Today, November 29 in 1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and had been given permission to camp. 1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first Army- Navy football game. The game was played at West Point, NY. 1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the rotary dial. 1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior to a Soviet attack. Finland then asked germany for help. 1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic proclaimed. 1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before landing off Puerto Rico. 1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. The crash was the worst in Canada's history. 1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl Warren to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy. 1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become president of the World Bank. 1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army became effective. 1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language for the Altair. 1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. The US armed and directed Taliban had been fighting the Russians for a dozen years. 1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people aboard. 1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to preserve potentially vital evidence. 1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the party's 40-year monopoly on power. 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 1994 The U.S. House passed the revised General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war. 1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war crimes sentence since World War II. 1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and other narcotics. 2004 The French government announced plans to build the Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum was the planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's reserves. 2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 2019 Do smiled. |
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Go to TOP Well, Do , that's all for today.
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