Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, June 20 Thank you, Joseph!! ___________________________________________________ Today, June 20 in 1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical mechanical reaper for farming. His invention allowed farmers to more than double their crop size. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Fresno School employee arrested on sexual assault charges ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in. --- Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519) _____________________________________________________ >From Joseph We always hear "the rules" from the female perspective. Now here are the rules from the male perspective. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! THE RULES 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had... the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel while we were on vacation." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Terry McCoy, 43, Fresno, California, USA Fresno School employee arrested on sexual assault charges A Fresno Unified School District employee and group home counselor for troubled teens was arrested on sexual assault charges, according to Fresno Police. Fresno Police said they arrested 43-year-old Terry McCoy on Tuesday after they say he confessed to the allegations. McCoy has been employed at FUSD as a Noon Time Aide for 20 years, according to police. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Phil Re: W10 crashing Dear Webby No matter how careful I am, W10 keeps crashing. Even when I am just doing simple writing, after a day or two it crashes. Is that just to remind me that Saint Bill is the lord of heaven and hell and my computer, or is there a way to make that more civilized? Phil Dear Phil Your assumption is probably as close as any I could come up with. Unlike versions of Windows from 3.3 to W7, W10 is NOT made to run continuously. For best results shut it down every evening, and start it up again in the morning. Don't keep unsaved pictures in your graphics program, and don't keep too many tabs. Store tabs, that you plan to look at later in "ONE-TAB", or save them in a spreadsheet. W10 does abssolutely NOT like a big list of tabs. I know, XP and W7 can handle that OK, but W10 can't. So close those open tabs! Have FUN! DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Vely beautiful," he said politely. "Ivoly fwom endangeled amimal!." _____________________________________________ A Hebrew teacher stood in front of his class and said, "The Jewish people have observed their 5,759th year as a people. Consider that the Chinese, for example, have only observed their 4,692nd year as a people. "Now, what does it mean to you?" After a moment of silence, a student raised his hand. "Yes, David," the teacher said, "what does it mean?" David replied,"It means that the Jews had to suffer without Chinese food for 1,067 years." _____________________________________________ I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I called him a horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a damn. That was the mayor's car. I had walked to the store. ____________________________________________ Discovering too late that a watermelon fruit punch spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local rabbis, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. "Quick, man," he whispered to the head waiter, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy stealing seeds from each other aand slipping the seeds into their pockets." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 21 in 1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at Machynlleth and was crowned Prince of Wales. 1788 The U.S. Constitution went into effect when New Hampshire became the ninth state to ratify it. 1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical mechanical reaper for farming. His invention allowed farmers to more than double their crop size. 1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. 1893 The Ferris Wheel was introduced at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, IL. 1913 Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump from an airplane. 1937 In Paris, Leon Blum's Popular Front Cabinet resigned. 1938 In Washington, U.S. President Roosevelt signed the $3.75 billion Emergency Relief Appropriation Act. 1941 German troops entered Russia on a front from the Arctic to Black Sea. DUMB!! 1945 Pan Am announced an 88-hour round-the-world flight at a cost of $700. 1954 The American Cancer Society reported significantly higher death rates among cigarette smokers than among non-smokers. 1958 Linus Pauling and Detlev Bronke, both Americans, were elected to the Soviet Academy of Science. 1963 France announced that they were withdrawing from the North Atlantic NATO fleet. 1973 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states may ban materials found to be obscene according to local standards. 1974 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that pregnant teachers could no longer be forced to take long leaves of absence. 1985 Scientists announced that skeletal remains exhumed in Brazil were those of Nazi war criminal Josef Mengele. 1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag as a form of political protest was protected by the First Amendment. 2001 Former Haitian Army colonel Carl Dorelien taken into custody in Port St. Lucie. Dorelien had been in exile since 1994 when he was sentenced to life in prison for his role in a 1994 massacre. 2003 The fifth Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," was published by J.K. Rowling. Amazon.com shipped out more than one million copies on this day making the day the largest distribution day of a single item in e-commerce history. The book set sales records around the world with an estimated 5 million copies were sold on the first day. 2004 SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space. 2020 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control UNinstall completely and safely whatever you don't want anymore. I have used it for many years and highly recommend it. It even does an inventory of what you got and shows long forgotten stuff. Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster. Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!
Where is YOUR site?
Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
|
