Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, March 13 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Psycho eval for arrested Stuffed Doll rapist ___________________________________________________ Today, March 13 in 1884 Standard time was adopted throughout the U.S. ____________________________________________________ Would those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry. --- John Lennon (1940 - 1980) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. --- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945) Adventure is just bad planning. --- Roald Amundsen (1872 - 1928) My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) ------Yeah, me too. ____________________________________________________ >From Carol This happened yesterday and is important information for our age group (and beyond). A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the vaccination center after which he began to have blurred vision on the way home. When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor or be hospitalized. He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to the vaccination center immediately and pick up his glasses! ____________________________________________________ A man sitting in the bar found that the front of his trousers was all wet. Turning to the man on his right he asked, "Did you pour beer on my trousers?" "Nope," came the reply. Then, turning to the man on his left, he asked, "Did you pour beer on my trousers?" The man also replied, "Nope." "Oops, it must have been an inside job." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The primary school teacher was preparing the class for their annual concert. Some children were to sing songs, others recite poetry and some to play musical instruments. Little Alfie had just come down from the country and the teacher asked him if he would like to do some farmyard impressions. Alfie thought this was a great idea. On the night of the concert, Alfie nervously walked onto the stage. "Farmyard noises," he announced. Then, cupping his hands to his mouth, he yelled at the top of his voice, "Get off that fuckin' tractor! Shut the fuckin' gate! Get that fuckin' calf outa the yard!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cody Meader, 22, Clearwater, Florida, USA Psycho Eval For Accused Stuffed Doll rapist judge today ordered a psychological evaluation to help determine the competency of a Florida Man charged with having sexual contact with a pair of large stuffed animals at a Target store, court records show. During a Circuit Court hearing this afternoon, Judge Cathy Ann McKyton appointed a psychologist to examine Cody Meader, 22, who has been charged with criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs, both misdemeanors. A further hearing on Meaders ability to stand trial has been scheduled for next month. As detailed in police and court records, a Target loss prevention officer told cops that he watched as Meader took a stuffed unicorn to the childrens bedding department, where he exposed himself and took the unicorn and placed it against his penis and began a sexual motion like the subject was trying to have sex with the unicorn. The Target employee said that when he walked into the aisle where Meader (seen above) was, the suspect stopped and placed the unicorn back on the shelf. Meader, wearing shorts and a Star Wars t-shirt, then went to the front of the St. Petersburg store and picked up an Olaf snowman stuffed animal and began having sex with this stuffed animal and it was all on video, according to the Target workers witness statement. The subject finished having sex with the stuffed animal and ejaculated on it and then wiped it off. While Meader was engaged with the Olaf doll, police were already en route to the store, which is about 10 miles from the defendants residence. As seen above, a store surveillance camera recorded Meaders interaction with Olaf, a character from the Disney movie Frozen. After watching the video, a cop reported that Meader could be seen on top of the Olaf doll behind the table display. He was face down and appearing to be humping the doll. When Meader was finished, the cop added, he got up off the floor and wiped the doll off on the front of his shorts. Upon being read his rights, Meader admitted to doing stupid stuff and admitted that he had nutted on the Olaf stuffed animal, according to an arrest affidavit. As seen in images below and at left, police photographed both stuffed animals before the merchandise was destroyed due to circumstances. If Meaders case proceeds to trial, prosecutors have said they will seek to introduce evidence showing that the Target incident was not the first time he engaged in such illicit activity. Years earlier, police were called to a Walmart in Clearwater to formally trespass Meader from the store. A loss prevention officer told officers that Meader, then a juvenile, was performing sexual acts with stuff animals located in the store, according to a Clearwater Police Department DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Donny Re: Edge needed on W10 Dear Webby Hi all, Thought I'd inform you of an experience I had this week. If you are using Windows 10; DO NOT DELETE Microsoft Edge !!!! I did and could not get on the internet, in my email or access my external hard drives !!!!! As soon as I re-installed 'Edge' everything was fine again. I prefer Google but you must have 'Edge' installed in order to do anything !!!! Must be a new "thing" with Microsoft (Windows 10). Just thought you should all be aware of this !!! Donny Dear Donny Yes, if you get rid of both Edge and Internet Exploder, and don't have a default browser like Chrome set up, then you are in trouble. That is not really a new thing. Without a default browser, you are up sh*t clreek without a paddle. However, even if you have Chrome or FireFox as the default browser, Microsoft still plays stupid when you try to hit a link in email. Better to keep Edge on the machine somewhere. Microsoft owns you. You got to play by their rules. Have FUN! DearWebby Greg: Why did you sell that brand new pressure cooker at your yard sale? Sam: It may look like a pressure cooker to you, but in the hands of my wife, it's a secret weapon. Last Wednesday, she shot a pot roast into outer space! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Keli and Wendy were sitting around having a woman to woman chat around the campfire having a smoke. Keli looked at Wendy and asked, "Do you smoke after sex?" Wendy responded, "I don't know, I have never thought to check!" ____________________________________________ An anxious mother was lecturing her young daughter on the issue of sex morality. "If you're ever tempted while out on a date," she warned, "Don't forget to ask yourself this one question: Is one hour of pleasure worth an entire lifetime of shame?" "Gee, Mom," asked the girl, "How do you make it last an hour?" ____________________________________________ A distinguished clergyman and a friend were playing golf. It was a very close match, and at the last hole the clergyman teed up, addressed the ball, and swung his driver with great force. The ball, instead of sailing down the fairway, merely rolled off the tee and settled slowly some twelve feet away. The clergyman frowned, glared, and bit his lip, but said nothing. His opponent regarded him for a moment, and then remarked: "Reverend, that is the most profane silence I have ever witnessed." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ Today, March 13 in 0607 The 12th recorded passage of Halley's Comet occurred. 1519 Cortez landed in Mexico. 1660 A statute was passed limiting the sale of slaves in the colony of Virginia. 1777 The U.S. Congress ordered its European envoys to appeal to high-ranking foreign officers to send troops to reinforce the American army. 1781 Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus. 1852 The New York "Lantern" newspaper published the first "Uncle Sam cartoon". It was drawn by Frank Henry Bellew. 1865 Jefferson Davis signed a bill authorizing slaves to be used as soldiers for the Confederacy. 1877 Chester Greenwood patented the earmuff. 1884 Standard time was adopted throughout the U.S. 1900 In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts took Bloemfontein. 1901 Andrew Carnegie announced that he was retiring from business and that he would spend the rest of his days giving away his fortune. His net worth was estimated at $300 million. 1902 In Poland, schools were shut down across the country when students refused to sing the Russian hymn "God Protect the Czar." 1908 The people of Jerusalem saw an automobile for the first time. The owner was Charles Glidden of Boston. 1911 The U.S. Supreme Court approved corporate tax law. 1915 The Germans repelled a British expeditionary force attack in France. 1918 Women were scheduled to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York due to a shortage of men due to wartime. 1925 A law in Tennessee prohibited the teaching of evolution. 1930 It was announced that the planet Pluto had been discovered by scientist Clyde Tombaugh at the Lowell Observatory. 1935 Three-thousand-year-old archives were found in Jerusalem confirming some biblical history. 1940 The war between Russia and Finland ended with the signing of a treaty in Moscow. 1941 Adolf Hitler issued an edict calling for an invasion of the U.S.S.R. 1942 Julia Flikke of the Nurse Corps became the first woman colonel in the U.S. Army. 1943 Japanese forces ended their attack on the American troops on Hill 700 in Bougainville. 1946 Reports from Iran indicated that Soviet tanks units were stationed 20 miles from Tehran. 1946 Premier Tito seized wartime collaborator General Draja Mikhailovich in a cave in Yugoslavia. 1951 Israel demanded $1.5 billion in German reparations for the cost of caring for war refugees. 1951 The comic strip "Dennis the Menace" appeared for the first time in newspapers across the country. 1957 Jimmy Hoffa was arrested by the FBI on bribery charges. 1963 China invited Soviet President Khrushchev to visit Peking. 1969 The Apollo 9 astronauts returned to Earth after the conclusion of a mission that included the successful testing of the Lunar Module. 1970 Cambodia ordered Hanoi and Viet Cong troops to leave. 1970 Digital Equipment Corp. introduced the PDP-11 minicomputer. 1974 The U.S. Senate voted 54-33 to restore the death penalty. 1974 An embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries was lifted. 1980 A jury in Winamac, IN, found Ford Motor Company innocent of reckless homicide in the deaths of three young women that had been riding in a Ford Pinto. 1990 The U.S. lifted economic sanctions against Nicaragua. 1991 Exxon paid $1 billion in fines and for the clean-up of the Alaskan oil spill. 2003 Japan sent a destroyer to the Sea of Japan amid reports that North Korea was planning to test an intermediate-range ballistic missile. 2003 A report in the journal "Nature" reported that scientists had found 350,000-year-old human footprints in Italy. The 56 prints were made by three early, upright- walking humans that were descending the side of a volcano. 2012 After 244 years of publication, Encyclopdia Britannica announced it would discontinue its print edition. 2021 Do smiled.
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