Dear Webby's Humor Letter widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994 Again voted Best Newsletter Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994 Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter and is available in regular HTML and large font HTML for vision impaired readers. The Dear Webby Humor newsletter is sent from a server that has a Listed Sender ID, proper SPF record, and matching forward and reverse DNS. It has an approved privacy policy and full contact information. The Dear Webby Humor Letter is strictly Double Opt-In and is not on any blacklist. No advertising mails are sent from this address or IP number. If you are not receiving your subscription, click here. Return to Webby homepage Hosting | Software | Contacts | Privacy Policy | About You have a friend @Webby! High traffic web space on reliable UNIX and Linux servers with the fastest connectivity. LARGE FONT VERSION Subscribe | Unsubscribe The large font section has been split off into a separate newsletter. Click on Subscribe to subscribe to it. To write to me: DearWebby@webby.com Good Morning, ! Today is Tuesday, December 8 If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Wichita police arrest two teenagers for attempted robbery of an SUV ____________________________________ Today, December 7 in 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic violation. _____________________________________________________ Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) _____________________________________________________ An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? She must be half-a-mile away by now." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The French Leader got a coded message from Trump Administration. It read: S370HSSV-0773H The French were stumped and sent for the French Information Agency. The FIA was stumped too, so it went to the Russians. The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans. The Germans having received this same message during W.W.II from the Americans suggested turning it upside down ... _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Two teens, Wichita,, Kansas, USA Wichita police arrest two teenagers for attempted robbery of an SUV Wichita police have arrested two teenagers accused of spraying a woman with mace in an attempt to steal her vehicle. The Wichita Police Department says it arrested a 13-year-old male on charges of robbery from a person, simple battery, simple battery of a law enforcement officer, obstruct and possession of drug paraphernalia. A 15-year-old male was arrested for robbery of a person, simple battery, obstruct and runaway. WPD says at approximately 11 a.m., Sunday, Nov. 29, officers were dispatched to an assault call at the West Way Shopping Center in the 2500 block of South Seneca. Upon arrival, officers contacted a 50-year-old female who reported two unknown males attempting to steal her vehicle as she was getting inside the SUV. The woman told officers that the males opened her vehicle door, sprayed her with mace and attempted to pull her out of the vehicle. The suspects were unsuccessful and fled on foot. Responding officers spotted the juveniles running in the area, and after a foot pursuit, both teens were arrested without incident. WPD says the case will be presented to the Sedgwick County District Attorney's Office. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Jane Re: Networking without FaceBsook Dear Webby, I don't use Facebook. I have seen what it does to people. I know Microssoft, the evil empire, has murdered the easy networking between machines, that are sitting side bwy side. Is there any other program I can use, instead of FaceBook? Thanks Jane Dear Jane! Yes, sure! I have occasionally used Skype. You can also use ZOOM, of course. Google HangOut will probably work too, though I have not tried that. Pretty well any program that you can have on both machines will work. Make up a fantasy lover and send the files to him, then chat your lover from the other machine, and save the files to the basement machine. It is not as slick as on W7, whre you just drag the files across, but it works in the jungle. Have FUN! DearWebby If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ Three students are leaving their last classes of the day. The law student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have coffee." The engineering student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer." The medical student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes." ____________________________________________ My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. --- Henny Youngman ____________________________________________ Things not to say while visiting a foreign country. IRELAND "Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?" FRANCE "Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren't the French just Germans who can make sauces?" ITALY "Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O's! " POLAND "Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?" GERMANY "Is this bratwurst kosher?" TURKEY "Where's the hash at? It's cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?" KOREA "Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?" CHINA "This wall isn't so great." SWEDEN "Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?" YEMEN "Yemen? That's a stupid name for a country. What's it mean -- 'Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?" INDIA "You don't live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?" SPAIN "So, this is the country that's not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?" MEXICO "What's that smell?" SAUDI ARABIA "Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?" RUSSIA "Is it always this cold and economically devastated?" UZBEKISTAN "Can you spell Uzbekistan?" GREECE "I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy." AFGHANISTAN "Seriously, where is the real country. where is everything?" JAPAN "What's a Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?" AUSTRALIA "How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?" AMERICA "Was John Wayne gay?" POW! _______________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. ___________________________________________________