Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 8 If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Wichita police arrest two teenagers for attempted robbery of an SUV ____________________________________ Today, December 7 in 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic violation. _____________________________________________________ Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) _____________________________________________________ An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? She must be half-a-mile away by now." _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ The French Leader got a coded message from Trump Administration. It read: S370HSSV-0773H The French were stumped and sent for the French Information Agency. The FIA was stumped too, so it went to the Russians. The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans. The Germans having received this same message during W.W.II from the Americans suggested turning it upside down ... _______________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Two teens, Wichita,, Kansas, USA 
 Wichita police arrest two teenagers for attempted robbery of an SUV 
 Wichita police have arrested two teenagers accused of spraying a woman with mace in an attempt to steal her vehicle. The Wichita Police Department says it arrested a 13-year-old male on charges of robbery from a person, simple battery, simple battery of a law enforcement officer, obstruct and possession of drug paraphernalia. A 15-year-old male was arrested for robbery of a person, simple battery, obstruct and runaway. WPD says at approximately 11 a.m., Sunday, Nov. 29, officers were dispatched to an assault call at the West Way Shopping Center in the 2500 block of South Seneca. Upon arrival, officers contacted a 50-year-old female who reported two unknown males attempting to steal her vehicle as she was getting inside the SUV. The woman told officers that the males opened her vehicle door, sprayed her with mace and attempted to pull her out of the vehicle. The suspects were unsuccessful and fled on foot. Responding officers spotted the juveniles running in the area, and after a foot pursuit, both teens were arrested without incident. WPD says the case will be presented to the Sedgwick County District Attorney's Office.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Jane Re: Networking without FaceBook   Dear Webby, I don't use Facebook. I have seen what it does to people. I know Microssoft, the evil empire, has murdered the easy networking between machines, that are sitting side bwy side. Is there any other program I can use, instead of FaceBook? Thanks Jane  Dear Jane! Yes, sure! I have occasionally used Skype. You can also use ZOOM, of course. Google HangOut will probably work too, though I have not tried that. Pretty well any program that you can have on both machines will work. Make up a fantasy lover and send the files to him, then chat your lover from the other machine, and save the files to the basement machine. It is not as slick as on W7, whre you just drag the files across, but it works in the jungle. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Three students are leaving their last classes of the day. The law student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have coffee." The engineering student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer." The medical student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes." ____________________________________________ My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. --- Henny Youngman ____________________________________________ Things not to say while visiting a foreign country. IRELAND "Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?" FRANCE "Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren't the French just Germans who can make sauces?" ITALY "Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O's! " POLAND "Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?" GERMANY "Is this bratwurst kosher?" TURKEY "Where's the hash at? It's cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?" KOREA "Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?" CHINA "This wall isn't so great." SWEDEN "Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?" YEMEN "Yemen? That's a stupid name for a country. What's it mean -- 'Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?" INDIA "You don't live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?" SPAIN "So, this is the country that's not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?" MEXICO "What's that smell?" SAUDI ARABIA "Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?" RUSSIA "Is it always this cold and economically devastated?" UZBEKISTAN "Can you spell Uzbekistan?" GREECE "I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy." AFGHANISTAN "Seriously, where is the real country. where is everything?" JAPAN "What's a Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?" AUSTRALIA "How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?" AMERICA "Was John Wayne gay?" POW! _______________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today December 8 in 1765 Eli Whitney was born in Westboro, MA. Whitney invented the cotton gin and developed the concept of mass-production of interchangeable parts. 1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to Pennsylvania. 1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate Conception. His theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for the Reconstruction of the South. 1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and became the first world heavyweight champion. 1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Britain and Canada declared war on Japan a day earlier. 1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese mainland to Formosa due to Communists pressure. 1952 On the show "I Love Lucy," a pregnancy was acknowledged in a TV show for the first time. 1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the United States. 1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union began striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. The strike lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963. 1980 Zimbabwes manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism. 1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later he was shot to death by police. 1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was awarded $200,000 for emotional distress. 1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations' arsenals of intermediate-range nuclear missiles. 1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in the Israeli-occupied territories began. 1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender their control over the government and accept a minority role in a coalition Cabinet. 1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance to be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The act was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as unconstitutional. 1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. troops landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation Restore Hope. (Due to the time difference, it was December 9 in Somalia.) 1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). 1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, but continued to detain about 300 others. 1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the O.J. Simpson murder trial. 1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation would merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion. 1997 Jenny Shipley was sworn in as the first female prime minister of New Zealand. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic violation. 1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. The file contained over 1,300 pages. 1998 Nkem Chukwu and Iyke Louis Udobi's first of eight babies was born. The other seven were delivered 12 days later. 1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data networking business for $5 billion cash. 1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, not a lone assassin. 1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an economic and political confederation. 2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that he planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player in U.S. pro sports. 2020 Do smiled. 
 

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