Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, August 10, 2022  ___________________________________________________ History on this day, August 10, in 1995, Norma McCorvey, "Jane Roe" of the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion, announced that she had joined the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Illegal Immigrant arested for Kidnapping a Child and murdering 3 people Was Previously Deported _________________________________________________ Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (1841 - 1935) "The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." --- An Tax Auditor Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. __________________________________________________ >From Betty My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. As I fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a date, I remarked, "I'm fat." "No, you're not," she scolded. "My hair is awful." "It's lovely." "I've never looked worse," I whined. "Yes, you have," she replied. __________________________________________________ A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home. ___________________________________________________   Sakura,Japan Elyk Naiugnarac __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jose Paulino Pascual-Reyes, 37, Dadeville, Alabama, USA  Illegal Immigrant arested for Kidnapping a Child and murdering 3 people Was Previously Deported  The dangerous consequences of the Biden administrations failure to enforce U.S. immigration laws continue to multiply throughout the country. Last week, WSFA-TV reported the horrific story of a Dadeville, Alabama, kidnapping and double murder. At approximately 8:30 a.m. on Aug. 1, an Alabama driver noticed a 12-year-old girl walking alone on County Road 34, just south of Dadeville, and stopped to help her. Immediately, he alerted the police. According to court records reviewed by WSFA, the girl had been tied to a bedpost in a mobile home for at least a week, plied with alcohol to keep her in a drugged state and repeatedly assaulted by the suspect. She managed to chew through the restraints and escaped from the home while the suspect was at work. Following a grisly discovery of two decomposing corpses inside the mobile home, Jose Paulino Pascual-Reyes, 37, was arrested by U.S. Marshals in Auburn, Alabama. The Tallapoosa County Sheriffs Office charged him with three counts of capital murder and two counts of abuse of a corpse, along with one count of first-degree kidnapping, according to WSFA. Abbett said Pascual-Reyes had been living at the mobile home where the crime had occurred. However, he said he wasnt able to comment on the relationships between the girl, the individuals who had been killed and the suspect at that time. Asked about the condition of the girl, Abbett replied she was doing as well as can be expected in circumstances such as these. Were praying for her and making sure shes going to be safe and provide everything that she may need, the sheriff said. During a Thursday phone call with Abbett, Fox News learned that Pascual-Reyes is an illegal immigrant who had been previously deported. The outlet later reported that the bodies inside the mobile home had been identified as Sandra Vazquez Ceja, who was on parole pending an asylum claim, and her son, a minor, and that the sheriffs office believes Ceja was Pascual- Reyes girlfriend. The U.K.s Daily Mail reported some additional information about the case on Monday morning. According to court documents, it said, investigators believe that Pascual-Reyes killed Ceja by smothering her with a pillow, before murdering her son by hitting and kicking him. Both bodies were reportedly cut into small pieces at the joints to hide evidence, with Ceja using the address where the bodies were found on court records for a speeding ticket in April. The U.K.s Daily Mail reported some additional information about the case on Monday morning. According to court documents, it said, investigators believe that Pascual-Reyes killed Ceja by smothering her with a pillow, before murdering her son by hitting and kicking him. Both bodies were reportedly cut into small pieces at the joints to hide evidence, with Ceja using the address where the bodies were found on court records for a speeding ticket in April. _____________________________________________________ Thought those of you who are classified as "Seniors" and those who will be soon, would be interested in this new exercise program. Here is a little secret for building arm and shoulder muscles. Three days a week works well. Begin by standing outside behind the house, and with a 5 lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out to your sides as high as you can. This will become higher with time. Hold them there for as long as you can. After a few weeks, move up to 10 lb. potato sacks, and finally get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Next....start putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but be careful not to overdo it. _____________________________________________________ Whats in a name: 1. IACOCCA (the former Chrysler President/CEO)stands for I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America coincidence?.......... try these! 2. Bush (the American President) Beat Up Saddam Hussein! 3. Clinton (remember him?) Call Lewinsky, I Need The Oral Now However, no one can beat this latest casualty in bad naming Osama (WHO doesn't know him) Oh Shit, American Missiles Again! ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Betty for this picture!   Bee in Aster Betty Reese ___________________________________________________ Said to a railroad engineer: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule? ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Andrea RE: Networking W10 Dear Webby, Can a W10 be networked to a net of six W7 machines? So far I have not been able to do that. Andrea color> Dear Andrea W7 and before was easy to network, as you have experienced. W10, unfortunately, is brain damaged. Some networking experts supposedly have been able to network a W10 to a W7 network, briefly. But apparently it does not stay networked. Your best bet would be to buy a refurb W7. It will connect in half a minute and stay networked, the same as all your existing W7 machines. Your W10 does not have anything useful, that a W7 machine lacks, or that you would miss if you replace it with a refurb W7. If all of your machines were on W10, then supposedly networking could sorta work. Not smoothly like on a W7 network, where the other machines act like extra hard drives, but more like using a virtual (fake) common machine that all networked W10 machines have access to. You drag files to that fake machine, and the other W10 machines can copy them from there. Not smoothly at all, and nobody likes it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband." _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ >From Bea My 5 year old son was playing and was busily building up a fort in the living room. I asked him how his fort was coming along and if he would like help making it. He said " It's not a fort mom, its a dog house!" I said " Honey we don't have a dog. " To which he immediately replied " Well I think its time we got one since we do have a dog house!" ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ___________________________________________________ Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby-sitter when 6 year old, Kyle said, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat" Daddy's not home," the babysitter replied. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss" Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you sit over there." He pointed to his mother's chair. _____________________________________________________ Pull him out before the train ran him over. They were all shouting, "Give me your hand!" But the man would not reach up. Joe elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned over the man. "Friend," he asked, "What is your profession?" I am an IRS agent," gasped the man. "In that case," said Joe, "Take my hand!" The IRS agent immediately grasped Joe's hand and was hauled to safety. Joe turned to the amazed by-standers and declared, "Never ask an IRS agent to "give" you anything, you fools!" _____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ____________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r- e." __________________________________________ TOP 10 WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR ZIPPER IS UNZIPPED: 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Paging Mr. Johnson...Paging Mr. Johnson. 6. Elvis has left the building. 5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. 3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 2. Men may be from Mars. But I can see something that rhymes with Venus. And the #1 Way to tell someone their zipper is unzipped... 1. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary" ____________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
 If you like my work,
 Please donate a dollar, 
 or two, if you can afford it!
 Please, help me stay online!
 
 _______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 
 Today, August 10, in 1792, King Louis XVI was taken into custody by mobs during the French Revolution. He was executed the following January after being put on trial for treason. 1809, Ecuador began its fight for independence from Spain. 1846, The Smithsonian Institution was chartered by the U.S. Congress. The "Nation's Attic" was made possible by $500,000 given by scientist Joseph Smithson. 1859, In Boston, MA, the first milk inspectors were appointed. 1869, The motion picture projector was patented by O.B. Brown. 1881, Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Paris Electrical Exhibition. 1885, The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially, was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft. 1914, Austria-Hungary invaded Russia. 1921, Franklin D. Roosevelt was stricken with polio. 1927, Mount Rushmore was formally dedicated. The individual faces of the presidents were dedicated later. 1944, U.S. forces defeated the remaining Japanese resistance on Guam. 1945, The day after the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, Japan announced they would surrender. The only condition was that the status of Emperor Hirohito would remain unchanged. 1947, William Odom completed an around-the-world flight. He set the solo record by completing the flight in 73 hours and 5 minutes. 1948, On ABC, "Candid Camera" made its TV debut. The original title was "Candid Microphone." 1949, In the U.S., the National Military Establishment had its name changed to the Department of Defense. 1954, Construction began on the St. Lawrence Seaway. 1965, In Austin, TX, a fire burned part of the 20th floor of the 27-story University of Texas main building. A collection that contained items once owned by escape artist Harry Houdini and circus magnate P. T. Barnum were damaged by smoke and water. 1988, U.S. President Reagan signed a measure that provided $20,000 payments to Japanese-Americans who were interned by the U.S. government during World War II. 1993, A massive deficit-reduction bill was signed into law by U.S. President Bill Clinton. 1994, U.S. President Clinton claimed presidential immunity when he asked a federal judge to dismiss, at least for the time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Paula Corbin Jones. 1995, Norma McCorvey, "Jane Roe" of the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion, announced that she had joined the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue. 1999, Near an India-Pakistan border area an Indian fighter jet shot down a Pakistani naval aircraft. Sixteen people were killed. 2003, Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles above the earth in the international space station. It was the first-ever marriage from space. 2022 Do! smiled. 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!