Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 22 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: NC mom ODs in Bass Pro Shops parking lot with baby in the car; both parents charged Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, July 22 in 1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under mysterious circumstances. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. --- Norm Crosby ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ Morris staggered into the house at two o'clock in the morning. As he entered his bedroom, he found another man in bed with his wife. His wife pushed the man off her and demanded to know where Morris had been until two o'clock in he morning. Morris looked at his wife's lover and demanded, "Who in the heck is this guy, and what is he doing in bed with you?" The wife responded, "Don't you dare go changing the subject on me! Where in the heck have you been so late?" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Kelly Lourie Bennett, 28, left and Michael Edward Ward, 25, Cary, North Carolina  NC mom ODs in Bass Pro Shops parking lot with baby in the car; both parents charged  A mother overdosed on drugs while her baby was in the car with her at the Bass Pro Shops parking lot in Cary on Monday, according to police. Now, the mother and father have been arrested and charged with misdemeanor child abuse. Kelly Lourie Bennett, 28, of Apex overdosed on narcotics after injecting herself with the drugs Monday afternoon, according to arrest records. Her 7-month-old child was also in the car, which was parked at the lot at 801 Bass Pro Lane off of Harrison Avenue. Michael Edward Ward, 25, of Clayton is listed as the child's father. According to arrest records, he allowed Bennett to inject herself while the child was with her. Both parents were arrested Monday evening and charged with misdemeanor child abuse for allowing substantial risk of physical injury to the child. Ward and Bennett were held in the Wake County Detention Center on Tuesday under a $10,000 bond and a $5,000 bond, respectively. Bennett has a history of arrests in Wake County. She was arrested for assault in 2008; failure to return rental property twice in 2013; possession with intent to distribute meth precursor, conspiracy to manufacture meth and identity theft in 2015; and probation violation in 2016. Ward also has a history of arrests in the Triangle. He was arrested for failure to work after being paid and possession with intent to distribute a meth precursor and possession of drug paraphernalia in Wake County in 2015; larceny in Durham County in 2016; probation violations in Wake County in 2016; and larceny, driving without a license and child abuse in Wake County in 2018. The child is in Detox and will be under the care of Child Services. No protest by Anti-Trumpers about child separation are scheduled, yet. 
  Tech Support Pits From Barb Re: Weird symbols in mail that came from Outlook  Dear Webby, In mail, that originated from me and shows in people's replies, there are weird symbols like or . They show even in Gmail, if a portion of it came from my other machine, that has Outlook on it. What is the cause of that? Thanks Barb  Dear Barb That is just Microslop. You must have seen complaints regarding "winmail.dat", that most people nowadays delete automatically right on the server. Win mail.dat is sent by Outlook and Microsoft WORD to supply supplementary font information so that other Outlook users see left-wing quotes, curly quotes and similar non-standard characters, that look cutesy on widdle goilies emails, but are just a nuisance on regular standard programs. That is why Microsoft adds a secret "Winmail.dat" file to supply the extra information. Well, almost everybody dumps the thilly winmail.dat right on the server. It is just a useless nuisance. IF, and only IF, the receiving victim has Microsoft Office or Outlook, then they can use the winmail.dat to tilt the quotes and do a few other semi-cute stunts. Standard programs just show whatever letters come through. Your Outlook uses (plus winmail dat translator) to produce a left wing quote, There IS a setting in Outluck to make it send standard characters and forget the left wing quotes and curly quotes. Microsoft calls the left wing quotes "Smart Quotes". The rest of us call them "Microslop". Here is how to turn the Microslop off and get standard characters:https://www.extendoffice.com/documents/outlook/2084- outlook-disable-turn-off-smart-quotes.html Have FUN DearWebby  
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 Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" He asked, very concerned. She said, "Well, we met by accident, I hit his wheel chair with the car." 
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 A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just before she dismissed them to go to church she asked them, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain was the correct answer, "Because people are sleeping!" ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Preventing Dirt Under Your Finger Nails Here's an old trick for people who don't like to use gloves when they garden. Rub your finger nails over a bar of soap. Your nails will fill up with the soap and prevent dirt from building up. When you clean up, scrub your nails with a nail brush to easily remove the soap.   Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
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 ___________________________________________________ The police in a sleepy Alberta town were notified that a very panicked citizen was at a local garage screaming in terror. When they arrived, they met the man, who had peed his pants, could hardly stand, while he pointed at a garage. They could detect no smell of alcohol. The man blithered there was a was a wild lion loose in that garage. The monster had chased him, snarling. He was so frightened the officers took him seriously, drawing their guns, crept cautiously into the garage After a few minutes they came out, hanging onto each other, barely able to talk for laughing. They called the man over. "We found your lion, take a look." Out walked the most embarrassed dog in the world. He was the garage guard dog. It was painful to look at him. Yellow, huge, he had once sported long shaggy hair. The owner had taken him to a groomer to be shaved. He had also given the groomer a bottle of strong homemade wine. The groomer went creative. He shaved the poor dog, leaving a huge ruff around his neck, a puff on the end of the tail, plus styled huge furry boots on his feet. He did indeed look like a lion. Sort of. A crowd gathered, everyone shaking with mirth. The lion dog had enough. He opened his mouth and roared. The crowd scattered, the cops leaped into their car. The owner walked out of the garage, wiping his hands on a greasy rag. He grinned at the dog, "Atta boy, you should get a medal for bravery under fire." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Bob was on vacation, trying to play the slot machines. It was his first time in a casino, and he wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." he said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" he asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, July 22 in 1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats out of town is said to have occurred on this date. 1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under mysterious circumstances. 1796 Cleaveland was founded by General Moses Cleaveland. 1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea for the first time since being launched on October 21, 1797. 1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain. 1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying at 250 feet. 1933 Wiley Post ended his around-the-world flight. He had traveled 15,596 miles in 7 days, 18 hours and 45 minutes. 1937 The U.S. Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal to add more justices to the Supreme Court. 1943 American forces led by General George S. Patton captured Palermo, Sicily. 1955 U.S. Vice-President Richard M. Nixon chaired a cabinet meeting in Washington, DC. It was the first time that a Vice-President had carried out the task. 1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress. 1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from possible attack by Iran. 1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching Israel or Saudi Arabia. 2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter. 2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai died after a gunfight with U.S. forces. 2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no injuries were reported. 2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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