Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 25 Thank you, Bonita! Had an accident today on the way to the hospital for the A1C blood tests. What happened? Same thing as Prince Philip. Momentary black- out and did not stop at a stop sign, that I had stopped at properly for 21 years, at the end of my block. A fast garbage truck on his way home clipped my front. Some minor damage, but the air bag went off and that disables the vehicle. By the time the smoke from the air bag detonator cleared, the ambulance was there. Write off the afternoon! They ordered me into the ambulance and did a long and very THOROUGH examination, including 9 point EKG! I kept telling her I was OK, just an old fogey slugged by an air bag. Every time I told her that, she came up with ANOTHER test. I realized that since the airbag bent my glasses I probably looked sillier than usual, but by the time she finished her rigamarole, I was getting quite impatient. After all, I had an appointment for the A1C blood work. Thankfully she offered to let me ride to the hospital, their base, in the ambulance. There I realized that the blood work requisition was in the truck, with my keys. That did not stop them from making me wait an hour. Naturally, they refused to do the blood work, claiming they have no record of the last 200 times they did exactly the same. So I walked home from the hospital. It's only a couple of miles. In the meantime my truck had been confiscated by the towing company and hauled to the impound yard far out of town, even though I had requested multiple times that it be hauled one block to my house. Quite a racket! I wonder what kind of kick-back the ambulance crew gets! So now I need another vehicle. @#$%^&*!!! Since I just have PLPD insurance covering the damage I do to others, the insurnce will just laugh and say "We told you so !" So, before buying another vehicle, I need to find some money! If you have some loose change weighing you down, or have a few bucks stashed under the matress, Pretty Please hit PayPal with them, or do a money transfer to helmut@webby.com at the Royal Bank of Canada. Thank you Bonita! And extra thanks for sending it "as a gift", so that PayPal does not take a big bite out of it. ___________________________________________________ History: on this day, October 25, in 1971, The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and admit mainland China. ____________________________________________________  Bonehead Award goes to Boca Raton Woman Pulled Knife On Ex  ____________________________________________________ The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. --- Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1828 - 1882) It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. --- Steven Wright (1955 - ) Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. --- Frank Leahy There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. --- Bruce Lee ___________________________________________________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the second woman. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ___________________________________________________ "I have to tell the truth," a young man said to his new girlfriend. "While we've been dating, I've been secretly seeing a psychiatrist." "Don't worry about it," the girl told her boyfriend. "I've been secretly seeing a lawyer and a car salesman." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Nayla Olea, BOCA RATON, Florida, USA  Boca Raton Woman Pulled Knife On Ex  A Boca Raton woman allegedly pulled a knife on her ex- boyfriend that she still lives with in his Boca Colony apartment. The woman, Nayla Olea, is now facing a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and a second charge of battery. According to a police report reviewed by BocaNewsNow.com, the male victim came home and found Nayla in bed after she had not been home for a couple of days. Shortly after his arrival, Naylas phone rang and she was reluctant to answer it, leading the male victim to believe it was another man calling. This is what the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office filed as part of the official report: THINKING THAT IT WAS ANOTHER MAN CALLING HER, (the victim) ASKED HER TO PAY HIM $40.00 AS MONEY SHE OWED HIM FOR RENT AND ALSO ASKED HER TO LEAVE BECAUSE HE WANTED SPACE. SHE DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE AND TOLD HIM THAT SHE WOULD SLEEP ON THE FLOOR. HE GRABBED HER PURSE AND PUT SOME OF HER ITEMS INTO IT AT WHICH POINT SHE GOT AGGRESSIVE AND STARTED RECORDING (the victim) WITH HER CELL PHONE WHILE AT THE SAME TIME PRODUCED A KNIFE FROM HER LEG. HE GRABBED HER PHONE PLACED IT OUTSIDE SO SHE COULD LEAVE. SHE, THEN, GOT UP POINTED AND WAVED THE KNIFE AT HIM, TO WHICH HE SAID THAT HE WAS IN FEAR THAT SHE MIGHT HURT HIM. HE MANAGED TO GRAB THE KNIFE FROM HER AND THREW IT OUTSIDE. IN THE PROCESS SHE RIPPED HIS SHIRT AND SCRATCHED HIS STOMACH AND BACK WITH THE KNIFE. I SPOKE WITH OLEA WHO SAID THAT SHE NEVER POINTED THE KNIFE AT HIM AND THAT IT WAS IN SELF-DEFENSE THAT SHE CUT HIM AS HE HAD BEEN PHYSICALLY VIOLENT WITH HER IN THE PAST. Nayla Olea was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail around 6:30 a.m. on October 16th, and released on her own recognizance just after 3 p.m. on October 17th. _____________________________________________________   Laura European Bee Eater, actually, a really good painting of one. ___________________________________________________ Joe Who went to a strip mall the other day. He sure was disappointed. Everybody else was dressed. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________   _________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! __________________________________________________ Little Johnny had finished his vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved, and YOU are supposed to be a professional, not just an amateur like me!" ____________________________________________________ Having trouble with the doctor's notes on an emergency case which read, "Shot in the lumbar region," the poor girl was flustered and at her wit's end. At last she thought she had it figured out and brightened up as she typed up the record, "Wounded in the woods." ================================================= DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From:Janice Re:Wet mouse Dear Webby My grandson unplugged my mouse and dropped into his soup. It is a wired laser mouse. Should I replace it, or can it be used again? Janice  Dear Janice Just rinse it, dry it, and plug it back in. I would bet that it will work OK. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One night while Sue was cat-sitting her daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, Sue found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, she called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When Sue persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough." How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said. Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast. ----------------- Personally I don't care how long a cat stays up in a tree, but if your cat senses that you need to lock it up before you go to work or a movie, it WILL play hard to get and even resist the sound of the magic can operner. Waving a sheet of tin to produce the sound of distant thunder does the trick quite nicely. Of course it will want to go hide elsewhere and waste more of your time, so you will need to have somebody under the tree with a butterfly net and reasonably fast reaction time. _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, October 25, in 1415, In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the English. 1812, During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States captured the British vessel Macedonian. 1854, The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40 percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was the result of confusion and was not given intentionally. 1870, The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was the Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City. 1881, The founder of "Cubism," Pablo Picasso, was born in Malaga, Spain. 1917, The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin seized power in Russia. 1929, Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in prison and fined $100,000. 1951, In Panmunjom, peace talks concerning the Korean War resumed after 63 days. 1954, A U.S. cabinet meeting was televised for the first time. 1955, The microwave oven for home use, was introduced by The Tappan Company. 1958, U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had been sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro- Western government. 1960, The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was introduced. 1962, U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos were of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 1971, The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and admit mainland China. 1983, U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations invaded Grenada to restore order and provide protection to U.S. citizens after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist (pro-Cuban) government. 1990, It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney that the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to Saudi Arabia. 2000, AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a family of four separately traded companies (consumer, business, broadband and wireless). 2001, It was announced that scientists had unearthed the remains of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years ago. The animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as 40 feet and weighed as much as eight metric tons. 2022 Do smiled.

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