Good Morning, Do!  
 Today is Wednesday, July 12 
 
 ____________________________________________________ History: today, July 12 in 1998, 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. ___________________________________________ Bonehead  Tennessee soccer coach arrested for child rape after restaurant workers looked through lost phone  ___________________________________________________ Q I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) ----------- Me too! __________________________________________________ >From Eddy For those of you who may have been following my long divorce saga, I wanted to tell you that at one time I attempted to reconcile with her. I said to her, "You know I love you. Say those three little words that will make me walk on air." She said, "Go hang yourself." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________   Travis Sigman ___________________________________________________ She pauses, reflects, and then she says, well then, let it read: "Fred Brown died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven-word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read,- "Fred Brown died, golf clubs for sale" ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock  Camilo Hurtado Campos Franklin, Tennessee, USA  Tennessee soccer coach arrested for child rape after restaurant workers looked through lost phone  A Tennessee soccer coach is accused of drugging and raping at least 10 boys after photos and videos of the children were discovered on his cell phone, police said. Police were contacted by a local restaurant on June 22 after staff found a cell phone left behind by a customer. Workers looked through it to try to determine the owner and found "unconscionable videos and pictures of children," according to a news release Sunday from the Franklin Police Department. Camilo Hurtado Campos was arrested the following day and charged with rape of a child and sexual exploitation of a minor. Detectives have since found hundreds of videos and pictures on the phone; they say Campos recorded himself raping unconscious boys between approximately 9 and 17 years old. Police have identified two of the victims and are working to identify the others. Because the children in the videos were unconscious, they might not realize they are victims, police said. Campos lived in the Franklin area for 20 years and would often approach children playing at school playgrounds to recruit them for his soccer team, gaining their trust and then inviting them to his home, police said. Campos was being held Monday at the Williamson County Criminal Justice Center on a $525,000 bond. Additional charges are very likely, police said. ___________________________________________________ Sign: "Bored Room" Boss to painter: "I don't care what my staff told you, it's spelled b o a r d." __________________________________________________ Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!" ___________________________________________________   Turkish Agate ___________________________________________________ Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" counted the second boy. "That's nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his butt. I know, 'cos I've seen the nicotine stains on his undies." ___________________________________________________  Dear Webby's Tech Support Pits From:Lori Re: Wet mouse Dear Webby my daughter spilled some coffee at her desk and afterward put her mouse into the dishwasher. Is it safe to use that mouse again? Lori  Dear Lori Dear Lori it would be a good idea to open the mouse and let it dry thoroughly overnight. While you have the mouse open, if it is a ball type mouse, then you can also clean those little shafts that hold the star wheels. The dishwasher doesn't clean them. Also, take the ball out and clean it with clear rubbing alcohol or gasline anti-freeze to make sure there are no soap residues left on it. Have Fun! DearWebby ___________________________________________________________ The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "Who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?" A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand. "Johnny?" the teacher said. "I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and I hate History!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ President Trump was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news and bad news." "Oh, no..." muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil." __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today July 12, in 1096, Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria. There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them safely the rest of the way to Constantinople. by August 1. 1543, England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last wife, Catherine Parr. 1690, Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated the Roman Catholic army of James II. 1691, William III defeated the allied Irish and French armies at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 1790, The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution providing for the election of priests and bishops. 1806, The Confederation of the Rhine was established in Germany. 1862, The U.S. Congress authorized the Medal of Honor. 1864, U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle where Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the outskirts of Washington, DC. 1870, The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented by William W. Lyman. 1912, The first foreign-made film to premiere in America, "Queen Elizabeth", was shown. 1933, A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established in the U.S. 1941, Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the first time. 1946, "The Adventures of Sam Spade" was heard on ABC radio for the first time. 1954, U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower proposed a highway modernization program, with costs to be shared by federal and state governments. 1957, The U.S. surgeon general, Leroy E. Burney, reported that there was a direct link between smoking and lung cancer. 1960, Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch. 1974, John Ehrlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Nixon, and three others were convicted of conspiring to violate the civil rights of Daniel Ellsberg's former psychiatrist. 1982, "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales in the first 31 days of its opening. 1982, The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs rolled off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 1990, Russian republic president Boris N. Yeltsin announced his resignation from the the Soviet Communist Party. 1998, 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 1999, Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of its Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com. Disney movies, music and books 2000, Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays. The module was built to be the living quarters for the International Space Station (ISS.) 2023, Do smiled. 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!