Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, December 31 Happy New Year, Do!

1411
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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 31`, in 1999, Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: NY driver with kids aboard charged for mowing down wife before stabbing her _____________________________________________________ Q The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young. --- Willa Cather (1873 - 1947) America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. --- Arnold Toynbee (1889 - 1975) Where facts are few, experts are many. --- Donald R. Gannon ____________________________________________________ Morris complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor got rather upset that his word was doubted and yelled: "You just wait until the autopsy, then you will see that I was right." __________________________________________________ On vacation one year Joe went to a resort in Wyoming. As part of the usual activities, a neighboring ranch invited guests from the resort to participate in a cattle drive. After watching 20 make-believe cowpokes whooping and hollering, Joe rode up to the ranch-owner and asked her how many cowboys it normally takes to drive a herd of that size. "One," she replied, "and yappy dog. It's the noise that'll get the cattle to move." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Stephen Giraldo, 36, Jamaica, Queens, New York, USA NY driver with kids aboard charged for mowing down wife before stabbing her A mother is in critical condition after her estranged husband allegedly intentionally mowed her down with an SUV and then stabbed her with a knife all while their children were in the vehicle, according to Queens District Attorney Melinda Katz. The incident happened Tuesday around 5:20 a.m. in front of the victims Flushing residence. Stephen Giraldo, 36, of Jamaica, Queens, was arraigned Wednesday on a complaint charging him with second-degree attempted murder and endangering the welfare of a child, among other charges. According to the complaint, video surveillance footage shows Giraldo enter a white Ford Explorer parked near the intersection of Parsons Boulevard and Sanford Avenue. The children, ages 11, 9 and 6, were seated in the car. Stephens 41-year-old wife, Sophia Giraldo, walked in front of the vehicle. Stephen allegedly told the children to "keep your seat belt on" and accelerated, barreling the car directly into her. After colliding with her, the car turned onto its side. Stephen then allegedly crawled out the passenger side window of the vehicle and stabbed his wife with a knife. Stephen was at the scene when police arrived. Sophia was taken to a hospital for treatment of her injuries, including severe neurological damage, broken bones in her leg and a stab wound that punctured her liver. The children were not physically hurt. Investigators are working to figure out a potential motive. The judge remanded Giraldo and ordered him to return to court Jan. 12. If convicted, he faces up to 25 years in prison. ___________________________________________________ Arielle Coyote in my yard a few days ago. West of Edmonton. This guy was trying to eat my chickens ___________________________________________________ A nervous young guy was walking up and down the waiting room at the Maternity hospital,and he looked at a cool, and calm older man, who was reading a magazine. The younger man said: "I guess you have been here a few times." "Yes, five times."said the older man. The young man said, "How soon after the baby is born, can you have sex with the Mother? The older guy said,"That depends on whether she's in a public ward or a private ward. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bohemian Waxwing, Edmonton _______________________________________________ Scientists have finally figured out what is wrong with men. The problem lies in the two halves of their brains - the left and the right. The left half has nothing right in it And the right half has nothing left in it! ____________________________________________________ TRUISMS BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. GOSSIP: Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. KLEENEX: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Facinating Evening in New Zealand Gunjan Singh Bhati _________________________________________________________ __ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Gypsy RE: Postcards Dear Webby What happened to all the tens of thousands of postcard sites, that you used to host? Gypsy Dear Gypsy The Social Networking sites killed them. It is apparently a lot easier to gossip and have the gossip automatically spread all over, than it is to send a postcard to a speific person. What also hurt was the "Dot Com Bust" in the early 2000s, when the ad companies switched from the "Exposure" model to the "purchased" model. It used to be that people got a few pennies per thousnd exposures of an ad. In the erly 2000s that changed over to only pay if the vistor actually bought something. Famous and very busy sites like AngelWinks, that used to make a respectable income, suddenly were left out in the cold and stopped. There are still a very few postcard sites out there, because their creators just love creating, but I don't see any new ones filling the gap. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a 10-ton truck and landed up in hospital in intensive care. His best friend Morris came to visit him. Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside." "What does she read?" "My life insurance policy." ____________________________________________________ Today, December 31 in 1687, The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of Good Hope, where they would later create the South African wine industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage. 1695, The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted in many windows being bricked up. 1711, The Duke of Marlborough was dismissed as commander- in-chief. 1775, The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army generals Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. Montgomery was killed in the battle. 1841, The State of Alabama enacted the first dental legislation in the U.S. 1857, Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the capital of Canada. 1877, U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes became the first U.S. President to celebrate his silver (25th) wedding anniversary in the White House. 1879, Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. 1891, New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive numbers of arrivals. 1897, Brooklyn, NY, spent its last day as a separate entity before becoming part of New York City. 1923, In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben. 1929, Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne" as a New Year's Eve song for the first time. 1946, U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of hostilities in World War II. 1955, General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to earn more than one billion dollars in a single year. 1960, The farthing coin, which had been in use in Great Britain since the 13th century, ceased to be legal tender. 1961, In the U.S., the Marshall Plan expired after distributing more than $12 billion in foreign aid. 1974, Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold for the first time in more than 40 years. 1978, Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S. 1979, At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the start of 1979. 1986, A fire at the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico, killed 97 and injured 140 people. Three hotel workers later pled guilty to charges in connection with the fire. 1996, NCR Corp. became an independent company. 1997, Michael Kennedy, 39-year-old son of the late U.S. Sen. Robert F. Kennedy, was killed in a skiing accident on Aspen Mountain in Colorado. 1999, Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. 1999, Five hijackers left the airport where they had been holding 150 hostages on an Indian Airlines plane. They left with two Islamic clerics that they had demanded be freed from an Indian prison. The plane had been hijacked during a flight from Katmandu, Nepal to New Dehli on December 24. 1999, Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the world's oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 2004, In Taiwan, the Taipei 101 skyscraper opened to the public 2022 Do smiled.
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