Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 27

1411
Ophelia DingbatterIf you like my work,
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or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!

___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 27, in 1985, Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, including five of the attackers, who were slain by police and security personnel. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Dad Arrested For Abducting 1 year old Son From Boca Raton Town Center Mall _____________________________________________________ Q An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit. --- Sir Frederick G. Banting (1891 - 1941) ____________________________________________________ Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. __________________________________________________ A fellow who's just reached his 150th birthday was giving a press conference to the assembled media. "Excuse me, sir," one of the reporters said, "but how did you come to live to 150? "It's actually quite simple," the old fellow replied. "I just never argue." "That's impossible," the reporter responded. "There must be something else, like diet, or meditation, or something. Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 150 years!" The old fellow shrugged his shoulders and said: "Hmmm, could be you're right." __________________________________________________ An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Vinie Ristick, Greenacres, Florida, USA Dad Arrested For Abducting 1 year old Son From Boca Raton Town Center Mall The father of the one-year-old boy abducted from Boca Ratons Town Center Mall late Thursday night was arrested Friday afternoon by the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office. Vinie Ristick was found in Greenacres with the child who is fine. Ristick remains in the Palm Beach County Jail Saturday morning. The Boca Raton Police Department tells BocaNewsNow.com that it all started when the boys mother during a custody visit stepped away to get coffee. Boca Raton Police, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement and the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office worked together to successfully locate Ristick and the child in Greenacres, Florida Friday afternoon, said a Boca Raton Police Department spokesperson. The child appeared to be in good condition but was taken to a local hospital for a precautionary examination. The investigation started Thursday night, December 22, 2022, when the childs mother took the child to the mall to meet with Ristick after he had not seen the child in over two months. They met inside the mall at 6000 W Glades Road. When the mother went to order coffee, Ristick left with the child without the mothers knowledge or consent. Surveillance video showed Ristick and the child leaving the area in a vehicle. According to the mother, Ristick had never taken care of the child who suffers from a condition that requires daily medication. The mother contacted Ristick who said he was not going to give the child back. He told the mother he would retaliate against her if she contacted police and then stopped responding to her. Ristick was charged with Interference with Custody and transported to the Palm Beach County Jail. The mother and child have since been reunited. ___________________________________________________ Gerry Webb Northern pygmy owl, Alberta hinterland ___________________________________________________ At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately she began flattering him outrageously. The guy liked the young lady, but was taken a bit aback by her fast and ardent pitch. He was amazed when after 30 minutes she seriously proposed marriage. "Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," she smiled. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the back of the bank where you have your account. I know all I need to know about you." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bernard Food Industries _______________________________________________ Being able to turn your grandchildren into spoiled brats is God's reward for not killing your children. _______________________________________________ A first-grade girl came home from school. She was very happy, and her Mom noticed this. Mom asked, "What makes you so happy today?" The girl said, "Mom, we learned how to make babies in school today!" Thinking that first grade was a bit early for that, she asked her daughter to tell her how. "It's easy, Mom -- you just drop the 'y', and add 'i-e-s'" the daughter said. __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage." The Texan said, "What's a shortage?" The Russian said, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me?" ___________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Ariane Re: MailWasher Dear Webby You keep mentioning MailWasher, as if we knew what it is. Can you please tell me, in small words, what it is all about? Thanks Ariane Dear Ariane I subscribed to MailWasher in the 90s, when it was new and free, and when a $20 voluntary donation got me a lifetime subscription. To make a long story short, I tried it and before my coffee cooled off, I fired $20 off to Nick in New Zealand. That $20 was a grub-stake to get the company rolling. MailWasher looks at your email on the server, BEFORE you drag it down to your machine. Anything it deems to be spam, it dumps into a recycle bin. Then you just download whatever mail it judges as OK. It is pretty good at detecting spam, plus you can make filters. Most spam you normally just dump, but you can filter mail from your Mother-In-Law to bounce, and make it look like she got the wrong address. The filters are truly awesome. You just play star wars with them. They are a strategy game rigged in your favor. Initially the options in the filters might be baffling. Just send an email to Nick or Jeremy or me, and they will quickly respond and show you the easy way, without being snotty like tech supporters at the big companies. That is why I HIGHLY recommend MailWasher, even though the mid-90s $20 lifetime deal is no longer available. Still a fantastic deal, that saves a LOT of time. I have it on every machine. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ My Grandmother is ninetyfive and still doesn't need glasses... She drinks straight out of the bottle. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 27 in 1703, The Methuen Treaty was signed between Portugal and England, giving preference to the import of Portuguese wines into England. 1831, Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard the HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage helped him form the basis of his theories on evolution. 1845, Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child in Jefferson, GA. 1900, Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor bottles that could be seen. 1904, James Barrie's play "Peter Pan" premiered in London. 1927, Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party. 1938, The first skimobile course in America opened in North Conway, NH. 1945, The World Bank was created with an agreement signed by 28 nations. 1947, The children's television program "Howdy Doody," hosted by Bob Smith, made its debut on NBC. 1949, Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty to Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule. 1951, In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a steering wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle of its kind to be placed in service for mail delivery. 1965, The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with the loss of 13 lives. 1978, Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy after 40 years of dictatorship. 1979, Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak Karmal succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was overthrown and executed. 1985, Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, including five of the attackers, who were slain by police and security personnel. 1985, Dian Fossey, an American naturalist, was found murdered at a research station in Rawanda. 1992, The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace over southern Iraq. 1996, Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces retook the strategic air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer zone around Kabul, the Afghanistan capital. 1997, In Northern Ireland, Billy Wright was assassinated. He was imprisoned as a Protestant paramilitary leader. 2000, Mario Lemeiux (Pittsburgh Penguins) returned to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player after over 3 years of retirement. He was the first owner-player in the modern era of pro sports. Lemieux had purchased the Pittsburgh Penguins during his retirement from playing. 2001, U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent normal trade status with the United States. 2002, North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the country and said that it would restart a laboratory capable of producing plutonium for nuclear weapons. 2002, Clonaid announced the birth of the first cloned human baby. The baby had been born December 26. 2002, In Chechnya, at least 40 people were killed when suicide bombers attacked the administartion of Grozny. 2022 Do smiled.
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