Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, August 7 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Prison For Drunken Oregon Motorist Who Set Blood Alcohol Content Record ___________________________________________________ Today, August 7 in 1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six- man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. ____________________________________________________ You're never too old to become younger. --- Mae West (1892 - 1980) v Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers ____________________________________________________ While enjoying an Early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona truckstop, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and Bea celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?" "Yup, we sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our 25th anniversary, I took Bea to Mesa. Maybe for our 50th, I'll go down there and bring her back." ____________________________________________________ Am I adopted? ____________________________________________________ Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter-Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nathan Danzuka, 28, Madras, Oregon, USA Prison For Drunken Oregon Motorist Who Set Blood Alcohol Content Record The drunken Oregon motorist whose blood alcohol content was measured at more than nine times the legal limit-- apparently a U.S. record--has been sentenced to 13 months in prison for his inebriated antics, according to court records. Nathan Danzuka, 28, recently pleaded guilty to DUI, reckless driving, and fleeing charges in connection with a hit-and-run accident (and subsequent police chase) in February in Madras, a city 125 miles southeast of Portland. Danzuka was arrested after crashing his Ford Explorer into a concrete barrier. Police reported finding several alcoholic beverage containers inside the SUV. Danzuka was subsequently transported to a local hospital where a blood sample showed that his blood alcohol level was a staggering .778, more than nine times the legal .08 limit. At time of his arrest, Danzuka was driving on a suspended license due to a prior drunk driving conviction. In addition to his 13-month prison term, Danzuka was sentenced to a years probation and had his drivers license suspended for life, court records show. Pictured above in a Department of Corrections photo, Danzuka is locked up in the Oregon State Penitentiary, a maximum-security institution in Salem. Previously, the highest blood alcohol contents reported by TSG were the .72 recorded by an Oregon woman in 2007 and the .708 recorded by a South Dakota woman in 2009. DearWebby's tech support pits From: Dorothy Re: FB Jail DearWebby What is this "Facebook Jail" all about? Everybody mentions it, but they are all too scared to explainit. What is it? Dorothy Dear Dorothy The people who manage FaceBook believe that it is a legitimate liberal / Democrat propaganda outlet. If you post facts, that they don't like, then they hide those facts and block you for a few weeks or months. That blocking is what people call FaceBook Jail. Have FUN! DearWebby An obstetrician sometimes saw rather unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery. One patient had some type of fish tattoo on her abdomen. "That sure is an unusual looking whale," he commented. With a sad smile she replied, "It used to be a dolphin." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Printed sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handwritten sign nearby: Window frightened. ____________________________________________ On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single." ____________________________________________ Seen on a T-shirt: "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 7, in 1789 The U.S. War Department was established by the U.S. Congress. 1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart. 1888 Theophilus Van Kannel received a patent for the revolving door. 1914 Germany invaded France. 1928 The U.S. Treasure Department issued a new bill that was one third smaller than the previous U.S. bills. 1934 The U.S. Court of Appeals upheld a lower court ruling striking down the government's attempt to ban the controversial James Joyce novel "Ulysses." 1942 U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start of the first major allied offensive in the Pacific during World War II. 1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six- man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. 1959 The U.S. launched Explorer 6, which sent back a picture of the Earth. 1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious TV and radio broadcasts. 1964 The U.S. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, which gave President Johnson broad powers in dealing with reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. forces. 1974 French stuntman Philippe Petit walked a tightrope strung between the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center. 1976 Scientists in Pasadena, CA, announced that the Viking 1 spacecraft had found strong indications of possible life on Mars. 1983 AT&T employees went on strike. 1987 The presidents of five Central American nations, met in Guatemala City, and signed an 11-point agreement designed to bring peace to their region. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops and warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard against a possible invasion by Iraq. 2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he would run for the office of governor. 2003 Stephen Geppi bought a 1963 G.I. Joe prototype for $200,000. 2021 Do smiled. |
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