Good Morning, Do!  Today is Wednesday, June 28 

Bonehead Indianapolis habitual robber insisted victim friends him on FB ___________________________________________________ Q Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. --- Jane Wagner ___________________________________________________ >From Rock Your Dr poker story reminded me of one my gramps told often, Once there was a guy trying to get a good poker game going, he had 4 players was looking for a fifth, he called an old friend and asked if hed like to come and play, that friend said he had 3 reasons why he couldnt play, he said, "First of all I have no money." His friend replied, "OK bye." ____________________________________________________ A 100 year old man was having a big birthday party at his nursing home. A TV crew was there to interview the man on this special day. "Please tell our audience how you managed to live so long," as the reporter. "Well, I don't ever drink and I've never smoked," replied the old geezer. "And, I make it a point to stay away from wild women." Just then, there was a loud shriek in the hall. The crew turned to see a nurse run by, followed by an agile looking, older man. The older man carried a foul smelling cigar in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other. As he ran by, he paused for a moment, looked at the crowd and let out a hardy, "He, he, he!" and then continued his pursuit. "What was that all about?" asked the astonished reporter. Replied the old geezer, "Please excuse my father - he gets carried away sometimes!" _____________________________________________________ Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. --- Doug Larson ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ Sent by Ana Milkyway over Arches National Park, Utah ___________________________________________________ A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!" The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position. The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife. He takes the photo and slowly nods. "Sorry, I didn't realize you had a prescription." ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Damien Boyce, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA Gunman demands woman friends him on Facebook after breaking into her Indianapolis home, later messages her to ask her out Amber Beraun said she was getting her mail on May 8 when she was approached by a man who pulled out a gun and demanded to get into her house She said she gave the suspect, identified as Damien Boyce, the cash from her car, which was her tips and earnings from delivering pizzas until 4:00 am, at which point he demanded at gunpoint, that she friend him on Facebook. Boyce later messaged Beraun promising to pay back the money and eventually asking her to 'come chill' Even though he is aa habitual robber and shooter, he never did give her back the money. Amber Beraun said she returned to her southeast Indianapolis home at about 4am on May 8 after a long day of work, and was grabbing mail from her mailbox when she was approached by a man, later identified as Damien Boyce, who pulled out a gun. 'He took it out of his pocket to show me what was going on let me into your house,' she recounted to WRTV. He even allegedly pointed out which profile belonged to him, according to WTHR. 'I thought if maybe I added him on Facebook, he would leave, and he did,' Beraun said. Shortly afterward, though, Boyce started messaging her on Facebook, Indianapolis police say. One such message read: 'Look you know I'mma pay you back. It's a f***** up way to meet someone, but d*** you wass [sic] to pretty to rob.' Beraun then decided to reply: 'I believe you man. I can tell you're sweet, times just got rough. I know that.' The exchange apparently emboldened Boyce, who continued to message her on social media and even asked her at one point to 'come chill.' Beraun said the encounter left her shaken. 'He really tried to rob me of my own things, but he took away my sense of safety from my own home,' she told the local news station. 'It makes me a little on edge knowing that people walk up and down the street, looking for places to commit crimes,' Beraun continued. 'It makes it a little different when you hear noises at night.' Indianapolis Metropolitan police said Boyce was previously arrested and charged in a separate robbery on June 12, in which he allegedly shot two people and hit a third in the head with a brick following an argument. Boyce then allegedly barricaded himself inside a building before a SWAT team arrived, at which point he surrendered himself to authorities. He was charged with burglary, unlawful possession of a weapon, criminal recklessness and battery. After he was charged, he was kicked out onto the street. He was now charged in the gunpoint robbery of Beraun last Wednesday, and this time is held on a $7,500 bond. ___________________________________________________ My sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise. The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream. As they continued home, my sister blurted out, "Isn't it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this much money?" Just then, she went to toss the last of her ice cream cone out the window. However, they were just passing a big truck and a gust of turbulence blew it back in and stuck it to her nose. Her husband looked at her and calmly replied, "Yes, it IS amazing!" __________________________________________________ There was a Sunday school in Nebraska with thriteen children between the ages 4 to 5 yrs old. When the Sunday school teacher asked everyone to raise their hand if they wanted to go to heaven. Twelve of the chidren raised their hand, all except for four year old Do. When the Sunday school teacher asked: "Do, don't you want to go to Heaven?" Do looked around at everyone and replied: Not if this bunch is going." ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ After doing the laundry, Lena folded Ole's underwear and put them in his dresser. The following morning, Ole took out a pair. Shaking the powder out, he grumbled, "Doggone it, Lena, I wish you wouldn't put so much laundry powder in my underwear." Grinning sheepishly, Lena replied, "Oh, Ole, that's not laundry powder..it's Miracle-Gro!" ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Bianca Re: Which Font Dear Webby, We got this big argument going at work about which font is the best. What is your opinion? Bianca Dear Bianca Best for what ? For a casual announcement Dauphin is good. It is relaxed but very readable. For something romantic you can sacrifice readability to slow down the reader and make him or her spend more time on each word. Try Vivace BT, For business, use Trebuchet if you want to appear as a modern innovator, Zurich Ex BT if you want to appear as a trusted banker, Tunga or Tahoma for reliable business Arial for clarity and precision Lucida Console is for a techy look and also for maximum readability on poor monitors or bad printers or faxes. For web sites I recommend Arial. It is the most readable and sharpest font that is available on the most machines. Tunga might be nicer, but you can't count on everybody having it on their computer. Have FUN! DearWebby __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today June 28, in 1635, The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in the Caribbean. 1675, Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes. 1709, The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the Battle of Poltava. 1776, American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on Charleston, SC. 1778, Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an American artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during the Battle of Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's place at his gun after he was overcome with heat. 1869, R. W. Wood was appointed as the first Surgeon General of the U.S. Navy. 1894, The U.S. Congress made Labor Day a U.S. national holiday. 1902, The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it authorized a canal to be built across the isthmus of Panama. 1911, Samuel J. Battle became the first African-American policeman in New York City. 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along with his wife, Duchess Sophie. 1919, The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War I exactly five years after it began. The treaty also established the League of Nations. 1921, A coal strike in Great Britain was settled after three months. 1930, More than 1,000 communists were routed during an assault on the Russian consulate in London. 1939, Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic passenger service. 1938, The U.S. Congress created the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) to insure construction loans. 1940, The "Quiz Kids" was heard on NBC radio for the first time. 1942, German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet oil fields in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad. 1943, "The Dreft Star Playhouse" debuted on NBC radio. 1945, U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of Japanese resistance in the Philippines. 1949, The last U.S. combat troops were called home from Korea, leaving only 500 advisers. 1950, North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea. 1951, "Amos n Andy" moved to CBS-TV from radio. 1954, French troops began to pull out of Vietnams Tonkin Province. 1960, In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. 1964, Malcolm X founded the Organization for Afro American Unity to seek independence for black people in the Western Hemisphere. 1965, The first commercial satellite began communications service. It was Early Bird (Intelsat I). 1967, Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the June 1967 war. 1971, The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion conviction of Muhammad Ali. 1972, U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees would be sent to Vietnam. 1976, The first women entered the U.S. Air Force Academy. 1978, The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at the University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke. Bakke, a white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse racial discrimination. 1996, The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year-old men-only policy at the South Carolina military school. 1997, Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's ear after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight title fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1998, Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to lease U.S. aircraft to bring military force up to NATO standards. 1998, The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita banana company and retracted their stories that questioned company's business practices. They also agreed to pay more than $10 million to settle legal claims. 2000, The U.S. Supreme Court declared that a Nebraska law that outlawed "partial birth abortions" was unconstitutional. About 30 U.S. states had similar laws at the time of the ruling. 2000, Darva Conger announced that she had done a layout for Playboy magazine. Conger had married Rick Rockwell on Fox-TV's "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire." 2000, The European Commission announced that they had blocked the planned merger between the U.S. companies WorldCom Inc. and Sprint due to competition concerns. 2000, Six-year-old Elin Gonzlez returned to Cuba from the U.S. with his father. The child had been the center of an international custody dispute. 2001, Slobodan Milosevic was taken into custody and was handed over to the U.N. war crimes tribunal in The Hague, Netherlands. The indictment charged Milosevic and four other senior officials, with crimes against humanity and violations of the laws and customs of war in Kosovo. 2001, The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit set aside an order that would break up Microsoft for antitrust violations. However, the judges did agree that the company was in violation of antitrust laws. 2004, The U.S. turned over official sovereignty to Iraq's interim leadership. The event took place two days earlier than previously announced to thwart insurgents' attempts at undermining the transfer. 2004, The U.S. resumed diplomatic ties with Libya after a 24- year break. 2004, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that enemy combatants could challenge their detention in U.S. Courts. 2005, The final design for the "Freedom Tower" (One World Trade Center) was formally unveiled. 2007, The American bald eagle was removed from the endangered species list. However, since it is a scavenger, you still can't shoot it. 2010, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have the right to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live. 2023, Do smiled.

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