Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 15 ____________________________________________________ Today, October 15 in  1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Creep walked 351 miles for sex with 14-year-old, who was undercover cop  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light. --- Vicomte de Chateaubriand (1768 - 1848) He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have. --- Don Juan Manuel (1282 - 1349) "Everywhere, we learn only from those whom we love." --- Goethe _______________________________________________ My friend's wife returned from a tour of duty in the Middle East. To celebrate, he decided to take her out for a night on the town. Proud of her service record, he suggested she wear her uniform. Not only did a patriotic taxi driver refuse to accept money from them, but an appreciative citizen paid for her meal at the restaurant, and the theater manager upgraded their balcony seats to the orchestra. At the end of the evening, my friend turned to his wife. "I still get credit for taking you out, right?" ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________     An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Tommy Lee Jenkins, 32, Indiana  Creep walked 351 miles for sex with 14-year-old, who was undercover cop  A convicted pedophile from Indiana was busted for trying to have sex with a 14-year-old girl after walking 351 miles to meet her, according to authorities. Tommy Lee Jenkins, 32, began an X-rated instant-message exchange with a teen named Kylee in Wisconsin who was actually a sheriff's deputy, according to the US Attorney's Office. Jenkins asked her for sexually explicit photographs while badgering her to meet him for sex in Whitestown, Ind., where he lived, officials said. When she refused, he set off on foot for where she supposedly was, in Neenah, Wisc. repeatedly sending her explicit messages and updating her on the progress of his desperate hike, according to prosecutors. His mammoth trek ended with a surprise with sheriff's deputies and an FBI agent waiting to bust him, authorities announced Friday. Jenkins was charged with using a computer to attempt to persuade, induce or entice a minor to engage in unlawful sexual activity. He faces 10 years to life in prison if convicted. His messages to 'Kylee included telling her he wanted them to have 500 kids together, including one within a year, according to the Oshkosh Northwestern. Our nation faces an epidemic of child sexual abuse, with the Internet making it too easy for predators to communicate with children across the country, said US Attorney Matthew Krueger. The Justice Department is committed to working with federal, state, and local law enforcement agencies to prosecute child sexual abuse aggressively. Jenkins previously pleaded guilty to child abuse in 2011 for molesting two boys, ages 7 and 8, in Wisconsin, where he used to live, according to the Oshkosh Northwestern. He was sentenced to four years probation with a 360-day jail sentence stayed, the paper said, citing court records. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Vicky Re: What is Twitter?  Dear Webby, I read so many mentions about Twitter these days and I am wondering what it is and if it is safe. Vicky  Dear Vicky Twitter is like the very early IRC chats in the early 80's, but with mug shots and a 280 character per message limit. If you choose to "follow" somebody, then every time they send a message, you see it in your Twitter page. Some people make it a game similar to FaceBook and try to get as many people as possible to "follow" them. That doesn't mean that all or any of their followers actually read their posts. If they just focus on collecting followers, chances are that their followers are just as bland and shallow. Every now and then you have to weed out the people whom YOU follow. That's easy enough to do. A single click and they are gone. The same happens to you. If you don't contribute anything worth reading, people will stop following you. As far as safety is concerned, I don't see any problem with Twitter. It is limited to 280 characters of plain text, and you just follow people interested in the same stuff you are interested in. Twitter is a good way to meet people in a very casual way. If somebody turns out to be worth it, you can send them your email address or Skype handle in a private message. You can sign up free at http://twitter.com. It is easy, but most of the short names are already in use. You might have to try for a while until you come up with a user name that is not already in use. It is a good idea to limit your time on Twitter, and show up at the same hour when you do go onto Twitter. That way you accumulate friend with the same convenience time zone, instead o having them spread over the whole day. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?" 
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 "Do you love me with all your heart and soul?" asked Vickie on Valentines Day. "Mmm hmm." replied Wendell. "Do you think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world?" "Mmm hmm." "Do you think my lips are like rose petals?" "Mmm hmm." "Oh Wendell," gushed Vickie, "you say the most beautiful things!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Chopping Nuts For easier chopping, bake nuts in the oven for 5 to 10 minutes at 300 degrees F (149 C) before chopping them. A quick way to chop nuts is to put them in a plastic bag and hit them with a mallet or meat tenderizer, with no clean up afterwards. thriftyfun.Com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
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 ___________________________________________________ After a day full of accidents and mistakes, my coworker had had it. "Why," she cried out in exasperation, "do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?!" ___________________________________________________ Maybe this is why they don't teach music in high school any more. Following are actual answers from students on music tests. - The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna. - Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines. - Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. - All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know ex- actly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants. - Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue. - Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco. - A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals. - Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing. - Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys. - I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say. - Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical com- positions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. - Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti. ___________________________________________________ "People are going on dates now to coffee bars. This is the worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn't look any better." --- Margot Black __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, October 15 in 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would look better if he would grow a beard. 1883 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down part of the Civil Rights Act of 1875. It allowed for individuals and corporations to discriminate based on race. 1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in western Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 1937 "To Have and Have Not" by Ernest Hemingway was published for the first time. 1939 New York Municipal Airport was dedicated. The name was later changed to La Guardia Airport. 1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was executed for treason. 1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled execution. 1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin. 1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down in Beirut International Airport. 1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings, surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career points. 1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 1993 South Africa's President F.W. de Klerk and African National Congress President Nelson Mandela were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to end the apartheid system in South Africa. 1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the land- speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than the speed of sound. 1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back pictures of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba for the seventh year in a row. 2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of Jupiter's moon Io. 2011 Legoland Florida opened in Winter Haven, Florida. 2019 Do smiled.