Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 19 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Brit vacationer demands compensation because there were too many Spaniards in Spain  ______________________________________________________ Today, August 19 in 1960 Two dogs were launched in a satellite into Earth's orbit by the Soviet Union. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 - More quotations on: [Morning] No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) If you look good and dress well, you don't need a purpose in life. --- Robert Pante ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The new preacher was a dead ringer for Conway Twitty. One day he decided to visit some of the church members who hadn't been to service lately. He went to the first lady's house and knocked on the door. When she answered the door, she said, "Conway Twitty!" "No ma'am," he replied. "I'm your new pastor, and I just stopped by to have a prayer with you." So she said come right on in. He visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was Conway Twitty. Then he came to a widow woman's house on the end of the street. She was taking a shower at the time, so she just wrapped a towel around her and opened the door. When she saw her caller, she threw up her hands - which allowed the towel to fall to the floor. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "It's Conway Twitty!" And he said, "Hello, Darlin!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A minister was asked to inform a man with a heart condition that he had just inherited a million dollars. Everyone was afraid the shock would give him a heart attack. So the minister went to the man's house and said, "Joe, what would you do if you inherited a million dollars?" And Joe said, "Well, pastor, I think I would give half of it to the church." At which the pastor fell over dead. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ There was a very wealthy 70 year-old man who had just married a beautiful 25-year-old young lady. One of his long time friends said to him, "How did you get that gorgeous woman to marry a 70 year-old guy like you?" The man leaned over and whispered to his friend, "It was easy. I simply told her that I was 90 and had heart problems, and she instantly fell in love with me." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Freda Jackson, 81, Blackburn, Lancashire, England  Brit vacationer demands compensation because there were too many Spaniards in Spain  Toni Mayor, the President of the Benidorm Hotel Owners Association, thinks Brits keep complaining about things just so they can get compensation. He was reacting to the case of Freda Jackson, an 81-year-old British grandmother, who recently said there were too many Spanish people at her hotel in Benidorm. Ms Jackson, from Blackburn, Lancashire, said: The hotel was full of Spanish holidaymakers and they really got on our nerves because they were just so rude. One evening a Spanish guy nearly knocked me flying and he just walked off without even apologising. The entertainment in the hotel was all focused and catered for the Spanish why cant the Spanish go somewhere else for their holidays? She had demanded compensation from Thomas Cook after calling the locals rude and saying they got on her nerves. 
  From: Ann Re: Mailwasher stuck  Dear Webby Could you tell me why Mail Washer Pro, isn't working right??? All of a sudden, I have to separate the spam myself, and the icon doesn't blink anymore when new e mail arrives. Yesterday, it stopped working altogether and all my mail went into my outlook, I unchecked the boxes, send and receive e mail on start up and, check for messages every so many minutes Thanks Ann   Dear Ann I had to ask the good folks at MailWasher about that. Jeremy told me that it seems that a power failure or crash shut it down too quickly, before it could tuck it's marbles away and close it's restore bin and training archive. No panic. Click on HELP, About, and on the link to where those files are at the bottom there. Then close MailWasher. Windows can't delete those files while MailWasher is trying to open them. Once MailWasher is closed, delete the "Trash.rot135" file and the "Training" Folder. After that MailWasher will start up normally and work fine. Jeremy also suggested that you might be due for a free update to the current version. Have FUN DearWebby  
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 At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if that's all you want, get a TV!" 
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 The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money at Starbucks Save money at Starbucks by ordering smaller beverages. If you currently order a grande, try scaling back to a tall. You can also try to make Starbucks a reward rather than a daily habit.  It's a bit beyond me why anybody would want to pay big money for burned dish water, no refills, and work as waiter or waitress on top of it. Must be some weird cult! Luckily there are usually some restaurants close by, where one can get a sandwich and a decent coffee, with free refills, served with a smile, for what ONE paper cup of self serve burned dish water from a snooty "barista" costs at Starbucks. DearWebby  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
Walter the Stone Carver. Take a look at his galleries, he's very talented. 
 ___________________________________________________ A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's department store. Shyly, he walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "Yeah... Um... I'da... I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquired the man. "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the saleslady, as she brought his attention to a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras," informed the sales clerk. Confused, the man asked what she meant. The saleslady said, "As I said, 4 types: The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, the Presbyterian type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?" Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?" The lady responded plainly, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Doug and Bill were at the racetrack. Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government." Bill says, "Well it could be worse." Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the government you won $600." Bill sighs, "Telling your wife." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, August 19 in 1812 "Old Ironsides" (the USS Constitution) won a battle against the British frigate Guerriere east of Nova Scotia. 1848 The discovery of gold in California was reported by the New York Herald. 1856 Gail Borden received a patent for his process of condensing milk by vacuum. 1909 The first car race to be run on brick occurred at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. 1917 Team managers John McGraw and Christy Matthewson were arrested for breaking New York City's blue laws. The crime was their teams were playing baseball on Sunday. 1919 Afghanistan gained independence from Britain. 1929 "Amos and Andy," the radio comedy program, made its debut on NBC starring Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll. 1934 Adolf Hitler was approved for sole executive power in Germany as Fuehrer. 1940 The new Civil Aeronautics Administration awarded honorary license #1 to Orville Wright. 1942 About 6,000 Canadian and British soldiers launched a raid against the Germans at Dieppe, France. They suffered about 50 percent casualties. 1960 Francis Gary Powers, an American U-2 pilot, was convicted of espionage in Moscow. 1960 Two dogs were launched in a satellite into Earth's orbit by the Soviet Union. 1974 During an anti-American protest in Nicosia, Cyprus, U.S. Ambassador Rodger P. Davies was fatally wounded by a bullet while in the American embassy. 1981 Two Libyan SU-22s were shot down by two U.S. Navy F-14 fighters in the Gulf of Sidra. 1991 Soviet hard-liners announced that President Mikhail Gorbachev had been removed from power. Gorbachev returned to power two days later. 1998 The first piece of the 351 foot bronze statue of Christopher Columbus arrived in San Juan, Puerto Rico. 1999 In Belgrade, thousands of Serbs attended a rally to demand the resignation of Yugoslavia's President Slobodan Milosevic. 2004 Google Inc. stock began selling on the Nasdaq Stock Market. The initial price was set at $85 and ended the day at $100.34 with more than 22 million shares traded. 2016 A federal judge ordered Hillary Clinton to answer questions from the watchdog group Judicial Watch in writing about her use of a private email server while she was secretary of state. 2018 Do smiled. 
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