Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, January 4 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Today's Bonehead Award:  Indiana toddler left in freezing car in 'soaked' diaper while mom was inside bar  ______________________________________________________ Today, January 4 in 1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) Imagination is more important than knowledge. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ >From Elsa AS A NEW federal employee, I felt a combination of excitement and anxiety about meeting the strict standards of discretion and respect that our government imposes on its workers. Fearful of making a costly mistake, I decided to read up on procedures and standards on the federal Office of Personnel Management web page. I'm not sure if I was relieved or worried when I clicked on one page and found: "Ethics: Coming Soon!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future politician? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Tiffany Hebling, 29, Starke County, Indiana  Indiana toddler left in freezing car in 'soaked' diaper while mom was inside bar  Officers with the Knox City Police Department responded to O's Tap on Main Street around 2 a.m. Sunday after someone spotted the child in a car that wasn't running. Police say the temperature was 25 degrees. According to a police report obtained by WKVI, the baby's diaper was soaked and no baby food, bottle or diapers were found in the diaper bag or car. Police say Tiffany Hebling, 29, was inside the bar. She was arrested and charged with neglect of a dependent and criminal recklessness. The baby was checked out by medics and released to her father. Police are reviewing the bar's surveillance video to determine how long the baby was left alone in the car and how hard to throw the book at her.  
 From: Elsie Re: Ink or Laser printer  Dear Webby, You mentioned a number of pages per month one time, that would be time to switch from ink to laser printers. But I forgot what that number was. And it probably has changed in the meantime. What is that number nowadays? Elsie  Dear Elsie, if your old inkjet is still OK for fax and scanning, then you can buy a cheap single function network laser printer, and the magical number drops to one tenth of a case of paper per month. Toner has come down in price, but ink has gone up. It is so ridiculously expensive that some companies give you the ink jet printer free or almost free, so that they can hold you for ransom with the ink. During the first year you will feel paranoid about when your toner will run out. Keep in mind, most stores like Staples or BestBuy will sell Lasers with a cheapscate Mr Grinch type toner sample, that will run out shortly after you leave the store. Ignore that and get a proper toner replacement. THEN you will see how long it will last, and you will be pleasantly surprised. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 The woman needed encouragement to keep pedaling the exercise bike in her gym. So my friend, the gym manager, said, "Close your eyes and imagine you're riding along Broadway in New York City. It will be more interesting." Inspired, the woman cycled on, but after a minute she stopped. "What's wrong?" asked my friend." "The traffic light's red," she replied. 
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 Being in the bee removal business, I'm used to frantic phone calls, like the one from the woman whose home was infested with bees. "You don't understand," she said, explaining why she was so upset, "I have two small children here." "I do understand," I reassured her. "I have six children of my own." "Oh," she said, now calmer. "I guess you don't have the 'birds' part down yet." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Tax Write Offs for Home Businesses If you work from home, be sure to take advantage of any tax deductions that are available to you. For example, if you set up an office in your home that is only used for business purposes, you can write off the space on your tax return. Thriftyfun.com Above all, save any and all even vaguely related receipts! Without a receipt, it does not count. However, with a receipt you can write off an allowance to junior as "Snow Removal", as long as he shoveled the driveway to the (home) office, or "Landscaping" if he mowed the lawn. If you provide coffee to "employees" and visitors, you can buy it in bulk and also write it off, IF you save the receipts. You or your accountant can always dump invalid receipts, but you can't do anything about the ones you forgot to save. DearWebby  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
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 ___________________________________________________ The day a friend of mine was promoted, he arrived home to be greeted by his wife saying, "Welcome home, Colonel! "My dear, you needn't call me Colonel," he teased, "a simple Sir will do." For quite some time after, she addressed him as Simple Sir. ___________________________________________________ A doctor, received an emergency call from a patient: She had a fly in her ear. He suggested an old folk remedy. "Pour warm olive oil in your ear and lie down for a couple of minutes," he said. "When you lift your head, the fly should emerge with the liquid." The patient thought that sounded like a good idea. But she had one question: "Which ear should I put the oil in?" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, tell me which company bears the slogan, JUST DO IT?" And John answered, "Mom." ___________________________________________________  
 Today January 4 in 1850 The first American ice-skating club was organized in Philadelphia, PA. 1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was published by "Billboard" magazine. 1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British Fifth Army in Italy. 1948 Britain granted independence to Burma. 1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick Mills. 1957 "Collier's" magazine was published for the last time. The periodical was published for 69 years. 1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from its orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without conductors and motormen. 1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13 million. 1974 U.S. President Nixon refused to hand over tape recordings and documents subpoenaed by the Senate Watergate Committee. 1984 Wayne 'The Great One' Gretzky scored eight points (four goals and four assists) for the second time in his National Hockey League (NHL) career. Edmonton's Oilers defeated the Minnesota North Stars, 12-8. The game was the highest-scoring NHL game to date. 1991 The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to condemn Israel's treatment of the Palestinians in the occupied territories. 1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to buy S- 300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the Norwegian oil tanker Joelm. The fishermen had been lost at sea for 35 days after the engine of their vessel quit working. 1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in as Minnesota's 37th governor. 2007 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. She was the first woman to hold the position. 2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower) opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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