Good Morning, Do! Today is Thurssday, Oct 12 __________________________________________________ History 1810, Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese of Saxony-Hildburghausen. The royalty invited the public to attend the event which became an annual celebration that later became known as Oktoberfest. ____________________________________________________ Q You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award A Tulsa, Oklahoma mother pleaded guilty in court late last month to allowing her 12-year-old daughter give birth to a 24-year-old mans child. __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Everyone in the hotel was talking about the wedding where the groom was 95 years old and the bride was only 23. The groom looked pretty feeble, and some of the guests thought that the wedding night could kill the old man, because his bride was a healthy and vivacious young woman. But the next morning, everyone was surprised to see the bride come down the main stairway slowly, step by step, and painfully bold-legged. She finally managed to hobble to the front desk. The clerk looked very concerned, and he asked the bride, "What happened to you? You look like you just got done wrestling an alligator." "Oh my God," said the bride. "He told me that he had been saving up for 75 years... ...I thought he meant his money!! And now I found out he blew all his money on the wedding!" __________________________________________________________ A Pastor was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "Nope." "Is she a good Christian woman?" "I don't know for sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the pastor. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the preacher asked. "Cause she can drive at night," the old man said. ----------- I need one of them too! ________________________________________________________   Eared Grebe taking off _______________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mother. "No, honey, he won't do for bait," his mother said. "He's not an earthworm." "He's not?" Eddy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?" __________________________________________________  \ Near Banff ___________________________________________________ Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tammy Rose North, 66, Spring Lake, Michigan, USA Michigan Woman Asked to Wear Mask Flips Off Restaurant Workers, Drives over Officers Foot, leads chase, gets arrested A Michigan woman was arrested for allegedly driving over an officers foot and leading police on a chase after being asked to wear a mask Thursday.A Michigan woman was arrested for allegedly driving over an officers foot and leading police on a chase after being asked to wear a mask Thursday. The Grand Haven Department of Public Safety says a worker at the Jets Pizza on north Beacon Boulevard near Jackson Street asked North to put on a mask as required by state mandate at which point she became angry. Authorities say she put her hands underneath the plexiglass barrier at the counter, raise [sic] both middle fingers and cursed at employees. She then allegedly kicked a fellow customer when he tried to step in. In the parking lot, Grand Haven Department of Public Safety Officer Everardo Pedroza Jr. arrived to investigate, and as North was getting into her pickup truck, he told her to stop, according to MLive.com. However, she did not obey his command and backed up her truck, rolling it over his foot, then left the lot. Pedroza and other officers then gave chase but terminated the pursuit at U.S. 31 and Sternberg Road. North later was arrested by Fruitport Township police, the outlet noted. Pedroza was taken to North Ottawa Community Hospital and treated for a foot injury and was expected to recover. Norths bond was set at $25,000, according to the WGN 9 report. On July 10, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D) issued an executive order that said businesses must deny service to patrons not wearing a mask, Breitbart News reported. The expensive part will be running over the cop's foot and the high speed chase. She will find out the hard way that mug shots are not for her dating app. _________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Kendra RE: What to do if testing hot? Dear Webby, My nose is cool, but my hubby's nose is hot and dry. We can't afford the fancy medicine that Trump used, and our doctor won't prescribe it anyway. Now what? Kendra  Dear Kendra Get both your hubby and yourself tested at the hospital or a mobile testing station. The sooner you get listed, the higher up you will be on waiting lists for anything from vaccination to ventilators. Step 2 is to stock up on 2 weeks worth of food and necessities, and go on house arrest. Self Isolate. Quarantine, whatever you call it. Step 3 is to get a big bag of grapefruit. Peel a couple, and simmer the rinds for a couple hours or more. Strain the juice, add some honey while it is still hot or very warm. It will taste bitter, like a very expensive drink. The honey will make it quite pleasant, though interesting. Drink a glass of that juice whenever you get thirsty. It contains the active ingredient of the fancy medication, that Trump used. If it is too bitter, add more honey. Try to avoid sugar or corn syrup. That medicine does not kill a virus. All it does is strengthen your immune system, and THAT will murder the virus. If you are in a hurry, make some colloidal silver water, using PURE silver and distilled water. There is plenty of literature on the net about that. Colloidal silver murders any virus or fungal infection with micro-electrical action. By the way, Colloidal Silver Water, originally from drippings in silver mines, was an ingredient in the original Holy Water. That prevented the spread of plagues and diseases when everybody dunked their nose pickers into it. Very powerful stuff! Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're the poorest preachers we've ever had." ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shallt not take the covers off the neighbor's wife." ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock  Desiree Castaneda, Juan Miranda-Jara, 24, Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA  Oklahoma mother pleads guilty to allowing 12-year-old daughter to give birth to 24-year-old's baby  A Tulsa, Oklahoma mother pleaded guilty in court late last month to allowing her 12-year-old daughter give birth to a 24-year-old mans child. FOX 23 in Tulsa reported that Desiree Castaneda pleaded guilty to child neglect and enabling child sexual abuse, both charges she was arrested for in March 2022. In June 2021, the pre-teen girl arrived at a midtown Tulsa hospital and was in labor. Tulsa Police spokesman Danny Bean told the station in July 2021 that the girl and newborns father "walked in just like any other couple would, excited to deliver their newborn child." After arriving, hospital staff called 911, and the newborns father, Juan Miranda-Jara, was arrested and charged with first-degree rape. Bean told the station that Miranda-Jara, who was 24 years old, was bragging about becoming a father with a child giving birth, when officers arrived. OKLAHOMA AUTHORITIES ARREST SUSPECT AFTER GUNSHOTS ERUPT AT STATE FAIR He was also heard saying he had the familys blessing and was in a loving relationship with their daughter. When Miranda-Jara was arrested for rape, it was a surprise because Castaneda approved of the relationship and even threw a baby shower in preparation for the newborns birth. ARMED HOMEOWNER STEPS IN AFTER GIRLFRIEND'S ESTRANGED HUSBAND ALLEGEDLY BREAKS IN: POLICE Police told the station that Miranda-Jara was at first in a relationship with Castaneda, but when things did not work out, she was ok with him to start dating her daughter. Miranda-Jara was found guilty of first-degree rape in March 2022 and sentenced to 20 years in prison, though he will be eligible for parole after serving 17 years. He must also register as a sex offender. After pleading guilty to child neglect and enabling child abuse, Castaneda was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Once she completes her sentence, she is required to register as a sex offender. ________________________________________________ At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Do, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?" Do responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!" _________________________________________________ History On Oct 12, in 1492, Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted Watling Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had found Asia while attempting to find a Western ocean route to India. The same day he claimed the land for Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. 1792, The first monument honoring Christopher Columbus was dedicated in Baltimore, MD. 1810, Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese of Saxony-Hildburghausen. The royalty invited the public to attend the event which became an annual celebration that later became known as Oktoberfest. 1892, In celebration of the 400th anniversary of the Columbus landing the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance was first recited in public schools. 1895, In Newport, RI, the first amateur golf tournament was held. 1915, Former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt criticized U.S. citizens who identified themselves by dual nationalities. 1920, Construction of the Holland Tunnel began. It opened on November 13, 1927. The tunnel links Jersey City, NJ and New York City, NY. 1933, The U.S. Department of Justice acquired Alcatraz Island from the U.S. Army. 1938, Production began on "The Wizard of Oz." 1942, During World War II, Attorney General Francis Biddle announced that Italian nationals in the United States would no longer be considered enemy aliens. 1945, Private First Class Desmond T. Doss was presented with the Congressional Medal of Honor for outstanding bravery as a medical corpsman. He was the first conscientious objector in American history to win the award. 1960, Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev pounded a shoe on his desk during a dispute at a U.N. General Assembly. 1961, The first video memoirs by a U.S. president were made. Walter Cronkite interviewed Dwight D. Eisenhower. 1964, The Soviet Union launched Voskhod 1 into orbit around the Earth. It was the first space flight to have a multi- person crew and the first flight to be performed without space suits. 1972, During the Vietnam War, a racial brawl broke out aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. Nearly 50 sailors were injured. 1976, China announced that Hua Guo-feng was named to succeed the late Mao Tse-tung as chairman of the Communist Party. 1988, Federal prosecutors announced that the Sundstrand Corp. would pay $115 million dollars to settle with the Pentagon for overbilling airplane parts over a five-year period. 1989, The U.S. House of Representatives approved a statutory federal ban on the destruction of the American flag. 1994, Haitian military leader Raoul Cedras was granted political asylum by Panama. 1994, The Magellan space probe ended its four-year mission to Venus for the purpose of mapping. 1997, The St. Francis Basilica and 15th-century bell tower above Foligno city hall in Italy were damaged by 3 earthquakes. 1998, The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Online Copyright Bill. 1999, In Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf seized power in a bloodless coup that toppled Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif. The Supreme Court ruled that the coup was legal but insisted that a civilian government be restored within three years. 2001, A special episode of America's Most Wanted was aired that focused on 22 wanted terrorists. The show was specifically requested by U.S. President George W. Bush. 2015, It was announced that Dell was buying EMC for around $67 billion. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!