Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, June 17 _____________________________________________________ Today, June 17 in 0362 Emperor Julian issued an edict banning Christians from teaching in Syria. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: 8 years for burning down ex-wife's house ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So, how do you like your rice? Boiled? Or fried?" Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, "Thrown." ______________________________________________________` Amish SUV. Horse not included. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Niles Jr., 36, Chandlersville, Ohio 8 years for burning down ex-wife's house A Chandlersville man who set fire his ex-wife's home in December was sentenced to eight years in prison Monday. Stephen Niles Jr., 36, called his estranged wife repeatedly on the night of Dec. 8, demanding that she tell him where she was. "This was an ongoing thing between (Niles) and his wife," Assistant Prosecutor John Litle said during sentencing Monday. "Fueled by your methamphetamine and alcohol use, when she wouldn't answer her phone you became even more angry." After visiting several locations where he thought she might be, Niles went to her home on Candlestick Drive and made his last phone call to her from inside her residence. During a heated message he left on her voicemail, Niles threatened to burn her house down. Minutes later, the house was ablaze. "You burned her house down and left your wedding ring in the driveway," Litle said. In an earlier statement to the Times Recorder, Don Alexander, Wayne Township Fire Chief, said the blaze was reported at 2:48 a.m., Dec. 9. The structure was fully involved and the roof gone by the time fire personnel arrived on scene. Nothing from the home, which was also the location of his ex- wife's screen printing business, was salvageable. Although Niles reportedly let the family dog out, his ex-wife's cat remained in the home and was located in her bedroom deceased a few days after the blaze was extinguished. Niles pleaded guilty on May 1, to aggravated arson, attempted aggravated arson, tampering with evidence and cruelty to animals. "You didn't just take her home from her, you took her business and a lot of her memories, including her father's ashes," Judge Mark Fleegle said. "You also did damage to the neighbor's house. The fire melted the siding off of their house too." In addition to an eight-year sentence, Niles was ordered to register as an arson every year for the rest of his life. He was also ordered to pay restitution in the amount $79,500. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Robert Re: Where is the clipboard? Dear Webby Of all the years I've used a Computer, I don't know what the Clipboard is used for nor can I locate it. I ran a test and they said it was posted to my clipboard and I should copy the results and paste the results when sending to my ISP. Where is it? I always appreciate the advice and daily Humor. Take Care & Thank You Robert Dear Robert The clipboard is a scratch pad in RAM. If you highlight a paragraph and hit CTRL C, that paragraph is in the clipboad. When you hit CTRL V, whatever is in the clipboard is pasted to wherever the cursor is. The clipboard is not limited to text. I can copy a picture, jump to the email and hit CTRL V. The picture is then pasted into the email. That might not work with all email programs, but with Eudora it has worked fine since about '93. The clipboard is also indispensable when you work in spreadsheets. Highlight a cell or range of cells, hit CTRL C to copy, drop down to a different layer in 3D layered spreadsheets, put the cursor where you want what you copied, hit CTRL V and it is pasted. You can copy / paste from email to spreadsheets or word processors or graphics programs or web page editors and back. All of that is handled by the clipboard. You can even hit PrintScreen and copy whatever is on the screen into the clipboard, for example a cute picture in a screen saver. Then jump to a graphics program, hit CTRL V and paste the screen capture as a picture. The clipboard is a one shot deal. Whatever you copied last, is in it. You can paste it as often as you want, UNTIL you copy something else. The moment you copy something else, the previous copy is gone, forever. The clipboard is just in RAM, not on your hard drive. To see what is in the clipboard, hit CTRL V to paste it. To erase that naughty picture that you had just copied and pasted elsewhere, copy a comma or period from some text. Yep, a single period will totally obliterate and replace a 5 MB picture. When you reboot or shut down, the clipboard also gets dumped. There are programs available that let you copy a whole series of shots, but they are memory hogs and usually not worth the hassle. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. One day the Mexican maid announced to the Yuppette that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I am in the family way." The Yuppette was both surprised and shocked and asked who it was. The maid replied, "Your husband and your son." This time, the Yuppette was horrified and demanded an explanation. "Well," the maid explained, " I go to the library to clean it and you husband say, 'You are in the way.' I go to the living room to clean and you son say 'You are in my way.' So I'm in the family way and I quit." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Three guys from a mental institution were introducing themselves. The first guy says, "Hi, my name is Paul, from the Bible." The second guys says, "My name is Moses, God gave me the 10 Commandments." The third guy says, "I gave you WHAT????" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive Closet Organizer Plastic milk crates make great closet organizers for stacking clothing. The old sturdy milk crates are pretty hard to come by at this point, but you can purchase light weight plastic crates at the dollar store or department store that work just as well. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | There's a Real-Life Enchanted Forest and It's In Dartmoor, England |
___________________________________________________ The class assignment was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his, "Our neighbor Thelma fell in the well last week when she was chasing her dog with a big stick..." he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Koop. "Is she all right now?" "She must be," said little Irving. "She stopped yelling yesterday." ___________________________________________________ A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested - "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The marriage officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "Hmmmm, I think I understand. You need a television." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
"The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u." ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 17 in 0362 Emperor Julian issued an edict banning Christians from teaching in Syria. 1579 Sir Francis Drake claimed San Francisco Bay for England. (California) 1775 The British took Bunker Hill outside of Boston. 1789 The Third Estate in France declared itself a national assembly, and began to frame a constitution. 1799 Napoleon Bonaparte incorporated Italy into his empire. 1837 Charles Goodyear received his first patent. The patent was for a process that made rubber easier to work with. 1848 Austrian General Alfred Windischgratz crushed a Czech uprising in Prague. 1854 The Red Turban revolt broke out in Guangdong, China. 1856 The Republican Party opened its first national convention in Philadelphia. 1861 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed Dr. Thaddeus Lowe demonstrate the use of a hydrogen balloon. 1872 George M. Hoover began selling whiskey in Dodge City, Kansas. The town had been dry up until this point. 1876 General George Crook's command was attacked and defeated on the Rosebud River by 1,500 Sioux and Cheyenne under the leadership of Crazy Horse. 1879 Thomas Edison received an honorary degree of Doctor of Philosophy from the trustees of Rutgers College in New Brunswick, NJ. 1885 The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard the French ship Isere. 1912 The German Zeppelin SZ 111 burned in its hangar in Friedrichshafen. 1913 U.S. Marines set sail from San Diego to protect American interests in Mexico. 1917 The Russian Duma met in a secret session in Petrograd and voted for an immediate Russian offensive against the German Army. (World War I) 1924 The Fascist militia marched into Rome. 1926 Spain threatened to quit the League of Nations if Germany was allowed to join. 1928 Amelia Earhart began the flight that made her the first woman to successfully fly across the Atlantic Ocean. 1930 The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Bill became law. It placed the highest tariff on imports to the U.S. 1931 British authorities in China arrested Indochinese Communist leader Ho Chi Minh. 1932 The U.S. Senate defeated the bonus bill as 10,000 veterans massed around the Capitol. 1940 The Soviet Union occupied Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. 1940 France asked Germany for terms of surrender in World War II. 1941 WNBT-TV in New York City, NY, was granted the first construction permit to operate a commercial TV station in the U.S. 1942 Yank, a weekly magazine for the U.S. armed services, began publication. The term "G.I. Joe" was first used in a comic strip by Dave Breger. 1944 French troops landed on the island of Elba in the Mediterranean. 1944 The republic of Iceland was established. 1950 Dr. Richard H. Lawler performed the first kidney transplant in a 45-minute operation in Chicago, IL. 1953 Soviet tanks fought thousands of Berlin workers that were rioting against the East German government. 1963 The U.S. Supreme Court banned the required reading of the Lord's prayer and Bible in public schools. 1965 Twenty-seven B-52's hit Viet Cong outposts but lost two planes in South Vietnam. 1970 North Vietnamese troops cut the last operating rail line in Cambodia. 1991 The Parliament of South Africa repealed the Population Registration Act. The act had required that all South Africans be classified by race at birth. 2019 Do smiled. |
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